Donald Trump not happy about moving into government housing | CBC Comedy
WASHINGTON, D.C.—According to sources, president Donald Trump woke up this morning and realized — much to his horror — that upon assuming the presidency last week he would be living in the White House and that the White House is, technically, government housing.
"I can't — this is a huge embarrassment, this is unbelievable. This is truly huge, and I have to say: not in a good way," Trump said, according to sources who were standing within four miles of him.
Asked whether this means he thinks no Americans should live in government housing, Trump clarified his comments.
"I truly am generally against the idea. But that has nothing to do with what I feel about myself doing so. When I speak about other people, I am not speaking about myself. People do realize that, right? It's like that old saying goes: 'Do as I say you should do and how should you live, but I should not do this way, ha, could you imagine me living the way you do? My god, what a nightmare, right?'
"And really this is truly a big humiliation, the ultimate one, because when you think about it, the White House is the most government of all government housing. I mean it is the house of the government. And do you know it only has six stories?"
"Do you know how many stories Trump Tower in New York has? My god. I mean… I don't even know. All I know is I'm on the top one, and this is very important to me in actually a pretty big way. Will I be on the top floor at the White House? I sincerely doubt it, I can tell you that! They'll probably put some kind of library there, I mean my god can you imagine?"
At press time, Trump said that he could not yet say whether this annoyance at his change in circumstances would cause him to pay even fewer taxes than he currently does, which by all accounts is zero.
Is the gag order still in effect?
Does Trump realize that the public sector can't play the confidentiality agreement card like the private sector he is used to?