OT - This one's for you DS...

[Automattic]

I knew math was evil...

Teacher Arrested ...


A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney General Eric Holder said he believes the man is a member of the notorious "Al-Gebra" movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. 'Al-Gebra is a problem for us', the Attorney General said. 'They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.' They use secret code names like 'X' and 'Y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have
determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'.


When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, 'If God had
wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes.' White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by thePresident. It is believed that another Nobel Prize will follow.

 

[johnnytata]

i literally laughed out loud.

sounds like the onion...

 

[Automattic]

i literally laughed out loud.

sounds like the onion...

It's what I get when I actually take time to sit down and sift through all my forwarded Emails. I'll start sharing more of the funnier ones. Maybe forwarded emails deserve their own thread...

 

[dash]

I cosine this thread by saying that it was an acute story, Matt...

 

[naslundfan19]

If you don't think that's funny, you're a coplanar.

 

[awaz]

the media put its typical slope on this story.

 

[Automattic]

I cosine this thread by saying that it was an acute story, Matt...

I'm gonna give you a mulligan on that one...



edit - ...and look at what you started!

 

[Winged_Wheel88]

Whoever wrote that OP must have had their high pot in use.

 

[Automattic]

Whoever wrote that OP must have had their high pot in use.

Nice work, my friend!:smile: (yeah, even this caveman got it)

 

[IPostedWhat]

Math Sucks

 

[Winged_Wheel88]

Nice work, my friend!:smile: (yeah, even this caveman got it)

 

[Automattic]

Math Sucks

'Tis true. It all adds up.

 

[IPostedWhat]

I fear that I will always be / A lonely number like root three / A three is all that's good and right, / Why must my three keep out of sight / Beneath a vicious square root sign, / I wish instead I were a nine / For nine could thwart this evil trick, / with just some quick arithmetic / I know I'll never see the sun, as 1.7321 / Such is my reality, a sad irrationality / When hark! What is this I see, / Another square root of a three / Has quietly come waltzing by, / Together now we multiply / To form a number we prefer, / Rejoicing as an integer / We break free from our mortal bonds / And with a wave of magic wands / Our square root signs become unglued / And love for me has been renewed.

 

[sbb122]

The bad puns keep multiplying, you all should get minus rep...

 

[Winged_Wheel88]

Yeah, this thread is quickly sloping downwards.

 

[Winged_Wheel88]

And yet, we've only seen a fraction of the possibilities.

 

[Automattic]

That's it. I'm about to divide and conquer.

 

[Winged_Wheel88]

 

[Automattic]

LOL

Geez even I got that one too!

 

[IPostedWhat]

I heard that the teacher didn't practice safe six, and ended up with a binarial disease.