Coffee Talk: 7 Words You Can't Say to Jack Johnson

[mattola]

Is it bad form to heckle the coffin?

i have seen it done

 

[Comeds]

i have seen it done

Hey you know what...hopefully you dont upset others, but do what you got to do to help get past it.

 

[dash]

Reminds me of the old joke about a woman complaining about how terrible her husband treats her and that when he dies, she's gonna dance on his grave.

The husband replies, "I'm going to be buried at sea, let her dance"

 

[Comeds]

i have seen it done

I never heckled a coffin but two of the hardest times I have ever held back laughter were at funerals. Not proud of myself, but could not help it. About 20 years ago my friends father died, my friend was absolutely devastated. They asked everyone to take their seats because the local VFW wanted to perform a little something. I sat and one of the guys started singing some sad sad song. The guy was about 110 years old and was way way way off key and it just struck me as funny. As the song went on he got worse and worse. I'm sitting next to my friend so I know I cannot smile, chuckle, or anything. It was awful. I was biting the inside of my mouth, digging my nails into my arm. As soon as they were done I ran to the restroom and quietly laughed for a while.

Fast forward 8 years later when my uncle died. I looked across the room and started muttering to my wife "oh no, oh no" as they asked everyone to get seated because the local VFW wanted to perform a song. Same guy now 120 years old even more off key. Luckily I was near the back and with my wife who also started laughing. Not having to completely hold it in made it a bit better, but it was still pretty awful.

 

[scoutyjones2]

Or Pissing on the coffin?

Shit in the coffin. Saluatory Presidential procession of them actually taking a dump on a deceased Trump

 

[scoutyjones2]

I never heckled a coffin but two of the hardest times I have ever held back laughter were at funerals. Not proud of myself, but could not help it. About 20 years ago my friends father died, my friend was absolutely devastated. They asked everyone to take their seats because the local VFW wanted to perform a little something. I sat and one of the guys started singing some sad sad song. The guy was about 110 years old and was way way way off key and it just struck me as funny. As the song went on he got worse and worse. I'm sitting next to my friend so I know I cannot smile, chuckle, or anything. It was awful. I was biting the inside of my mouth, digging my nails into my arm. As soon as they were done I ran to the restroom and quietly laughed for a while.

Fast forward 8 years later when my uncle died. I looked across the room and started muttering to my wife "oh no, oh no" as they asked everyone to get seated because the local VFW wanted to perform a song. Same guy now 120 years old even more off key. Luckily I was near the back and with my wife who also started laughing. Not having to completely hold it in made it a bit better, but it was still pretty awful.

How'd he age 10 years when it was 8 years later?

Asking for a friend...

Just messing with you

 

[Comeds]

How'd he age 10 years when it was 8 years later?

Asking for a friend...

Just messing with you

Baltimore County Public Schools

 

[mattola]

How'd he age 10 years when it was 8 years later?

Asking for a friend...

Just messing with you

i think old people have like a dog age type calculation once they pass 100

 

[dash]

Here's another guy who when he dies should probably get the "no comment" treatment...

 

[KennyBanyeah]

I never heckled a coffin but two of the hardest times I have ever held back laughter were at funerals. Not proud of myself, but could not help it. About 20 years ago my friends father died, my friend was absolutely devastated. They asked everyone to take their seats because the local VFW wanted to perform a little something. I sat and one of the guys started singing some sad sad song. The guy was about 110 years old and was way way way off key and it just struck me as funny. As the song went on he got worse and worse. I'm sitting next to my friend so I know I cannot smile, chuckle, or anything. It was awful. I was biting the inside of my mouth, digging my nails into my arm. As soon as they were done I ran to the restroom and quietly laughed for a while.

Fast forward 8 years later when my uncle died. I looked across the room and started muttering to my wife "oh no, oh no" as they asked everyone to get seated because the local VFW wanted to perform a song. Same guy now 120 years old even more off key. Luckily I was near the back and with my wife who also started laughing. Not having to completely hold it in made it a bit better, but it was still pretty awful.

It's probably because of your former avatar but I kind of pictured you like Paul Rudd in this scene:

 

[Comeds]

i think old people have like a dog age type calculation once they pass 100

Is that true? @dash?

 

[dash]

Is that true? @dash?

My car gets 40 rods to the hogshead and that's the way I likes it.

 

[Loco2]

My car gets 40 rods to the hogshead and that's the way I likes it.

I don't know what this sentence means... and I can't even tell if it's Canadian, old, or vaguely sexual. Maybe all 3.

That might make a nice t-shirt for Dash's gift basket. @puckhead Take a note, please! @Comeds Take a shower! That's not related, but Wendy in Accounts Receivable doesn't think you put on deodorant today.

 

[puckhead]

I don't know what this sentence means... and I can't even tell if it's Canadian, old, or vaguely sexual. Maybe all 3.

That might make a nice t-shirt for Dash's gift basket. @puckhead Take a note, please! @Comeds Take a shower! That's not related, but Wendy in Accounts Receivable doesn't think you put on deodorant today.

When in doubt, think Simpsons or Family Guy.
In this case it's the former.

Also, we don't have a great record on gift baskets or t shirts.

 

[dash]

When in doubt, think Simpsons or Family Guy.
In this case it's the former.

Seinfeld completes the hat trick.

 

[Bloody Brian Burke]

I don't think what she said was that different than that.

And I have a feeling that site would have been unhappy with that too.

I’d have put AP’s tweet for this but they were lamenting broken dreams instead:

 

[thedddd]

^who wrote that headline? Al Cowlings, Ahmad Rashad or Bill Cosby.

 

[dash]

^who wrote that headline? Al Cowlings, Ahmad Rashad or Bill Cosby.

Marcia Clark.

 

[sbb122]

 

[dash]