Game Thread: Women's Hockey Gold Medal GNT - USA v Canada - Alterum diem vivere (subtitle: the rematch duel!)

[BGDave]

Hard to believe a Kessel can be this cute.

 

[forty_three]

Hard to believe a Kessel can be this cute.

Before:

The machine does amazing things.

 

[elocomotive]

Yeah, but she suffers from NLS like 40% of caucasian women.

 

[Myles]

Who's the favorite?
I'm actually thinking of taking tomorrow off. I worked pres day, so I have a day to burn.

 

[Myles]

Hard to believe a Kessel can be this cute.

Not bad. Pretty plain though, don't you think?

 

[higgyfan4]

Man, this thread...

 

[Bloody Brian Burke]

Who's the favorite?
I'm actually thinking of taking tomorrow off. I worked pres day, so I have a day to burn.

I actually think it's the States. At least it was before their first game against each other.

 

[dash]

USA definitely won the Corsi battle in the round robin game last week...

 

[elocomotive]

Man, this thread...

I blame the OP for setting such a weird tone from the onset. #@$)ing weirdo.

 

[BGDave]

I blame the OP for setting such a weird tone from the onset. #@$)ing weirdo.

Agreed. If OP went the advanced stats route, we would be talking about who has the better Corsis

 

[BGDave]

Not bad. Pretty plain though, don't you think?

Look at her brother. Clearly she never had to try hard.

 

[elocomotive]

This has the makings of the longest GNT we've seen in months. Good prep with the playoffs around the corner.

I want to see trash talk.
I want to see tired stereotypes of the opposing fans and/or nation.
Let's come out of the corners and keep it clean!

 

[dash]

Let me get this out of the way early - One of the Lamoureux sisters (likely both) will do something that will cause a melee during tonight's game.

 

[elocomotive]

Let me get this out of the way early - One of the Lamoureux sisters (likely both) will do something that will cause a melee during tonight's game.

Back off the foul language a little, Dash. I said trash talk, not make most of us cry!

 

[dash]

I want to see tired stereotypes of the opposing fans and/or nation.

Courtesy of the Onion:

GENEVA—Having analyzed the data from extensive surveys conducted across the globe, the World Health Organization announced Tuesday that a boat currently capsizing in the Atlantic Ocean had earned a higher quality of life rating than the United States.

“Based on our most recent global rankings, we’ve concluded that the overturned skiff boasts higher life-satisfaction levels and is on the whole more hospitable than most U.S. cities and towns,” said WHO director-general Tedros Adhanom, noting that the 16-foot vessel, which is at this moment taking on water after tearing open its hull on an outcropping of jagged rock, was also found to be more family friendly and to have better access to healthcare when compared with many American states.

“In our surveys, U.S. residents reported greater feelings of unhappiness and pessimism than did those aboard the now almost entirely submerged motorboat, believing they had fewer opportunities available to them. America currently sits in the middle of our quality of life index behind Japan, Canada, Australia, most of Europe, and the fiery shipwreck that appears to be far too damaged to send out a distress call.”

At press time, sources confirmed that after its engine fire was extinguished in a torrential downpour, the boat had also surpassed the United States in life expectancy rankings.

https://www.theonion.com/capsizing-...tm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing

 

[elocomotive]

Ouch! Burn!

Trying to get Dash to play nice be like...

 

[jstewismybastardson]

Man, this thread...

 

[BGDave]

This message was brought to you by the Hillary 2016 campaign

 

[dash]

Here's one for eloco:

A kid gets a new job working in a supermarket. One day a guy walks in and asks to buy half a cabbage. The kid says he'll speak to the manager. He goes to the manager and says, "Some idiot wants to buy half a cabbage" but doesn't notice that the man had followed him and was standing in the doorway and then adds "and this fine gentleman would like to buy the other half".

The manager was very impressed by the boy's quick wit.

"Tell me," he said, "where are you from?
"I'm from Canada," the boy replied. "But I left as soon as I could. It's only whores and hockey players up there."

The manager replied indignantly, "My wife is from Canada!"
"Really?" The boy shot back. "Which team did she play for?"

 

[elocomotive]

Here's one for eloco:

A kid gets a new job working in a supermarket. One day a guy walks in and asks to buy half a cabbage. The kid says he'll speak to the manager. He goes to the manager and says, "Some idiot wants to buy half a cabbage" but doesn't notice that the man had followed him and was standing in the doorway and then adds "and this fine gentleman would like to buy the other half".

The manager was very impressed by the boy's quick wit.

"Tell me," he said, "where are you from?
"I'm from Canada," the boy replied. "But I left as soon as I could. It's only whores and hockey players up there."

The manager replied indignantly, "My wife is from Canada!"
"Really?" The boy shot back. "Which team did she play for?"

gatorchip likes this