OT: TREND ALERT!!!!!!!

[dash]

It's a shame your seventh job was eliminated when the a certain sea-farer was laid off, you know, being our liaison to him.[/SPOILER]

That matter is still under arrrrrrrrrrrrrr-bitration.

 

[elocomotive]

Oh man, you actually do have six jobs around here.

Spoiler: Arrrrr

It's a shame your seventh job was eliminated when the a certain sea-farer was laid off, you know, being our liaison to him.

(sniff.... sniff, sniff) 2017 has been hard. It's been a tough yarrrrr.

 

[KennyBanyeah]

Trend expert
Anti-fighting advocate
Banner production
Stooge for bald/lawyer jokes
Taking Cheap Shots at Pittsburgh Residents

...

...

General Buffoonery?

What about Cuck? Libtard? Snowflake? Beta male?

He might be busier than we thought!! Especially when you have to automatically deduct 2 hours a day for jerkin the gherkin and another hour for HR/quiet time.

 

[elocomotive]

What about Cuck? Libtard? Snowflake? Beta male?

He might be busier than we thought!! Especially when you have to automatically deduct 2 hours a day for jerkin the gherkin and another hour for HR/quiet time.

Lol! I had just eaten a bite of cereal when I read this and almost spit it out. haha.

 

[forty_three]

Taking Cheap Shots at Pittsburgh Residents

EVERYONE DOES THAT

 

[KennyBanyeah]

 

[elocomotive]

Pop.... pop pop pah dap dup doooooop dooop pop pop

Weee oooooo weeeeee ooooooooo

WE HAVE A LEVEL 4 trend alert situation BREAKING today.

Details forthcoming...

 

[elocomotive]

It's five days before Halloween and like usual, you don't have your costume ready. Oh sure, you're wife is a slutty cat or a slutty cop or whatever, but what are you gonna wear?

WE'VE GOT YOU COVERED!!! TOP 5 COSTUMES FOR 2017!!!

 

[elocomotive]

#5 - Jason Bourne

Has the heat cooled down from the 2016 reboot that blew the butts off the box office?
Answer : NO! BOURNEMANIA rolls on.

Ages applicable: 16-65
Cost: $275-450
What you need: Find yourself some blue jeans and tight fitting sweater from your drawer. ( If you are not in great shape, you have 5 days, get on it!!) Just purchase an earpiece and a scoped sniper rifle from your nearby gun store. Find yourself a perch and just start firing!! You will be amazed at the reaction. People will be cheering and screaming they love your costume so much. You will see people RUNNING to go home and change their costume because they realized what a mistake being a chicken or a nurse was!
Pro Tip: When the police show up, remember your parkour skills and that an alleyway bike ride or jumping on top of a local ferry to escape will only add to the realism of your amazing costume!

 

[dash]

I can't wait to see the reaction on Halloween when eloco walks around town in his underwear and when confronted by police claims that he's working out some legal briefs.

 

[dare2be]

The truly shocking reactions result from eloco asking people to withhold his subpoena.

 

[KennyBanyeah]

Here's a new one!!

The 'Hot Coil Challenge' Is Here, And It's Even Dumber Than Eating Tide Pods

 

[jstewismybastardson]

maybe they can find a happy medium ... burn the tide pods on the grill and inhale

 

[esls79]

I don't know, freebasing tide pods seems kind of risky

 

[Comeds]

I don't know, freebasing tide pods seems kind of risky

All great things are.....*

*he says as he is hurriedly eating his lunch of blowfish tenders with sriracha aioli

 

[jstewismybastardson]

My son tells methis “fork knife” dancing game is sweeping the globe ... PROOF!!!

 

[elocomotive]

Play the music and read, gang!

WE HAVE A LEVEL 6 trend alert situation BREAKING today. This is the highest trend rating that Trend ALert has ever offered out of like... maybe3 trend ratings?!! WoAH!!


This week we're covering one of the most epic teen sensations ever to come from teen sensationary! It's called... FORT NIGHT!

You've probably not heard of it because my team of crack trend watchers spotted this craze just last week. To investigate, I asked some local teens about the game posing as someone who is understanding of the lingo of today's youth. They were laughing hysterically through most of the interview, I think because they get so excited about the game. Here is my interview:

Trend Alert: So what is a Fort Night?
Local teens: (laughing) Yeah, it's um.... we build a fort.
TA: Oh okay, that's rad.
Teens: Yeah, it's so cool. We um (laughing) we get inside the fort and we just fart a ton (more laughing)
TA: Yeah, I get it. Totally tubular.
Teens: Tubular? What is that? (Editors' Note: These kids are not trend experts)
TA: It's a term for something that is cool or totally on fleet.
Teens: Yeah, its in a fleet. A fleet of farts!
(At this point the interview broke down after one of them farted on me, I chased them, but quickly ran out of breath)

But there you have it, a sleepover party with some fort building. And some farting.

Trend Alert keeps you on top of it all!

 

[jstewismybastardson]

Lotta peeps flying to epstein island too

 

[elocomotive]

Jstew has made some excellent contributions to our crack team of trend spotters.

He is hereby promoted to Senior Junior Trend Correspondent (this is the 6th highest of 17 positions we have).

 

[elocomotive]

Reading this thread makes me sad. Young people are spreading COVID now and their actions are actually leading to the deaths. Trend alert: Grandma's dead.

I pine for the old days when they just ate Tide pods, harassed drive thru employees, and rubbed lip balm on their eyelids.