WAKE UP SHEEPLE
Guys?
Little help?
How does this even happen?
I assume an airdrop gone awry. It's really the only thing I can think of. This is some sort of paratrooper ram who forgot the "para" part, but fortunately has appropriate anatomy for stopping his descent on wires.
Clearly, this is the most logical conclusion.
I'm thinking it was more of a hillbilly prank.
Finally, "get him on the horn" makes sense
Scrivens bot, test #1. Go.