OT: I Think This Guy Wants to Murder Me

[BF4L]

Great post. I think I would be inclined to agree with Sly. I would reply back with something like " too bad Lesha is not into Anal eh dude"

Then again she may be so that would ruin it. Humm Now I am confused.

Time for another beer. I will come up with something in a bit :P

 

[grayghost668]

I fell asleep around 3:30am last night while reading Bret Easton Ellis' Imperial Bedrooms, as I am apt to do after a long day of law school, only to be woken up less than four hours later by a text from 1586***1309. It read:

Lose my number,
and if you contact leesha or sarah again
im coming for you motherfucker​

Now... here's the thing... as a single man who likes to drink Jagermeister, it is entirely possible that I have at one point made contact with a "Leesha" or a "Sarah," and not for the purposes of discussing the merits of Bob Froese's 1986 Regular Season, if you catch my drift (I'm talking about the sex).

​

Off the top of my head, I know "Sarah the Middle School Teacher," "Sarah the Gynecologist's Assistant," "Sarah the Slumpbuster," "Sarah the Walking Electra Complex," and "Sarah the Sister of my Best Friend."

That last one stays between us, SportsHoopla.

But despite all of these Sarahs, I don't know any particular "Sarah" in conjunction with a "Leesha." It's not like I'm pulling a Fredo and banging them two at a time; show me a guy who claims to have had a threesome, and I'll show you a liar (or a no-good cocksucking son of a bitch bastard who better PM me the details, because I have trouble enough with the first clitoris).

And while I appreciate that he (or she) was kind enough to provide me with the requisite evidence of intent for my family's seemingly inevitable Wrongful Death civil case after I get beaten to death, I don't know what to say to 1586***1309.


Do I tell him that I may have crossed the line with his women and apologize?

Do I ask him who "Leesha" and "Sarah" are?

Do I tell him that I did it, and he needs to teach his bitches some new tricks, "cause they be lyin' there like a dead fish. Sheeeit."

​

Do I not respond at all?

Do I text him in the middle of the night and threaten him back?

Do I post his full number on the Philadelphia Flyers' board and have them do whatever comes natural?

The only picture of a Flyers fan not used as an exhibit in a criminal case​

In the event that they find my body out in Eddie_Shack country, I ask that I receive an Antarctic penguin burial. Just dress me up in a penguin costume (an Iceburgh costume will suffice) and leave me there; the penguins will take care of the rest.

well it depends,how big a badass are you,if you are a wuss say your sorry and leave it at that,but if you can back it up tell him to kiss your ass and then post his number on the flyers board,let him know and take your chances,,,,me I would take my chances,never run from a fright

 

[Winged_Wheel88]

to Q:

It's the Warren of Grand Rapids.

Warren of Grand Rapids.

One has to have lived in Michigan to truly know how funny this post is.

EDIT: Fuck you, Spread Rep rule.

 

[quoipourquoi]

Warren of Grand Rapids.

One has to have lived in Michigan to truly know how funny this post is.

EDIT: Fuck you, Spread Rep rule.

Yeah, I had to hit him with some rep when I saw it.

 

[Automattic]

So? Whenever your done repping, can you tell us if you got murdered or not?! This is just like when my soaps are interrupted by weather advisories...

 

[quoipourquoi]

So? Whenever your done repping, can you tell us if you got murdered or not?!

Yeah, the real quoipourquoi was stabbed to death.

For the past few days, the account has been taken over by El Hijo Del Quoipourquoi.

 

[puckhead]

Last I heard he discovered the messages were coming from inside his own house and he looked up the stairs at the darkened second level and then.....that was it

do-be do-be doooo

 

[Winged_Wheel88]

do-be do-be doooo

BUDWEISER PENGUIN!

Or was it Bud Light?

 

[PhillyPhaithful48]

You know, I always thought that dogs...laid eggs. And I learned something today

 

[Eddie_Shack]

BUDWEISER PENGUIN!

Or was it Bud Light?

 

[Eddie_Shack]

This is fun. Anyone else have any more good Warren jokes?

 

[quoipourquoi]

This is fun. Anyone else have any more good Warren jokes?

I once had to go with someone as their backup when they were buying a car there late at night. I was hoping to pop out of the trunk with a shotgun a la Jackie Brown in case there was trouble, but it ended up just being some skinny blonde chick selling her Chrysler, so instead I pretended to know a lot about cars in the hopes of coming on her stomach.

 

[Automattic]

I once had to go with someone as their backup when they were buying a car there late at night. I was hoping to pop out of the trunk with a shotgun a la Jackie Brown in case there was trouble, but it ended up just being some skinny blonde chick selling her Chrysler, so instead I pretended to know a lot about cars in the hopes of coming on her stomach.

LEESHA!! GET THE FUCK OFF QUO'S COMPUTER!!