OT: Bullshitting at the Barbershop part III

[puckhead]

 

[mattola]

Mom?

 

[Comeds]

Video I took of drones flying over my house.

 

[forty_three]

Columbus funeral home to be first in the state to operate with a liquor license

A toast to the dearly departed. A North side funeral home could soon serve mourners in a new way. That way being with alcohol.

abc6onyourside.com

 

[thedddd]

Columbus funeral home to be first in the state to operate with a liquor license

A toast to the dearly departed. A North side funeral home could soon serve mourners in a new way. That way being with alcohol.

abc6onyourside.com

Just imagine the bar fights that will happen there. It will rival anything that ever occurred at Chuck E Cheese.

 

[sbb122]

^
"How did you get nabbed for your third DUI?"

"Oh, I was driving to my uncle's burial after the visitation at the funeral home."

 

[mattola]

^
"How did you get nabbed for your third DUI?"

"Oh, I was driving to my uncle's burial after the visitation at the funeral home."

happens WAY more than you know

 

[mattola]

​

Story Time: Funeral services can be unpredictable, and while we try to control what happens in the funeral home, what goes on behind closed doors in the family room is often beyond our reach. I've only ever caught one family drinking when they shouldn’t have been, but trust me, situations like this happen more often than you'd think.

One particularly wild day involved a family mourning their 30-year-old son who had died of an overdose. He was an aspiring hardcore rapper, and his music was played during the service—which, to be honest, made for a very uncomfortable atmosphere.

The father, a stonemason, incorporated traditional elements which included swords, spears, and ceremonial garb. Additionally, the family was Filipino and wanted to include some of their cultural traditions, even though they weren’t practicing Catholics. To accommodate everyone, we held two back-to-back services: one for the stonemasons and another for the Filipino traditions.

Midway through the second service, the deceased's brother arrived in a state I can only describe as the drunkest I’ve ever seen anyone. He was falling over, drooling, and I’m pretty sure he’d soiled himself. Normally, I would step in if someone intoxicated showed up before the service, but he came bursting in during the middle of the ceremony.

He ran straight down the aisle, threw himself onto his brother’s casket, and nearly tipped it over. I had to perform the classic "funeral director shuffle"—the kind where you walk-but-really-run—to stabilize the casket before it fell. Somehow, I managed to guide him back to his family, and we finished the service without further incident.

After the service, the family held a three-hour reception before heading to the stonemasons’ cemetery for the burial. This cemetery has very strict rules:

1. No one is allowed to stay during the burial due to the use of heavy equipment.
2. Licensed funeral directors are permitted to oversee the final closure.
3. The area is a designated no-drone fly zone.

Everything seemed normal at first. But just as the burial began, the brother roared into the cemetery in his BMW, music blasting, and chaos resumed.

He brought cameras and drones, seemingly to film a final rap video. Music started playing again, and he pulled out the biggest joint I’ve ever seen, offering it to me. I politely declined. He then passed it across the open grave to a girl he had brought with him. Both of them leaned too far forward and nearly fell into the grave. My assistant and I had to grab them to pull them back to safety.

Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, the brother turned to someone behind him and said, “Give me the bottle.” They handed him a bottle of rye, and he announced he was going to take a swig and smash it on the casket. I quickly intervened, suggesting, “Why don’t you take a swig, pour one out, and smash it off property so no one gets hurt?” To my relief, he agreed.

The service finally ended, and I returned to the funeral home, sat in silence for an hour, and just tried to process the day.

And if you think that was the end of it—nope. Turns out, this wasn’t even my service! I was filling in for another director who had conveniently asked me to collect payment from the family, who hadn’t paid a penny. The total cost was $14,000, and as far as I know, they never paid.

Man, what a day.

 

[thedddd]

If you live in Colorado do you need a car?

 

[Comeds]

his music was played during the service

Thanks for the idea

 

[forty_three]

 

[thedddd]

 

[sbb122]

Jeremy Jacobs is suddenly rubbing his hands together with a great idea

 

[Comeds]

A 58-year-old Virginia man died on Friday after a bear fell on him while he was on a hunting trip, according to Virginia officials.

The bear ran up a tree, and, as the group walked away from the tree, one of the hunters shot the bear. The bear fell onto Harvey, who was standing about 10 feet from the bottom of the tree, the department said.

https://thehill.com/homenews/state-watch/5044878-virginia-man-bear-hunting-death/

 

[dash]

A 58-year-old Virginia man died on Friday after a bear fell on him while he was on a hunting trip, according to Virginia officials.

The bear ran up a tree, and, as the group walked away from the tree, one of the hunters shot the bear. The bear fell onto Harvey, who was standing about 10 feet from the bottom of the tree, the department said.

https://thehill.com/homenews/state-watch/5044878-virginia-man-bear-hunting-death/

It was a grisly scene.

 

[dare2be]

I think one of those NJ drones stole my package.

 

[thedddd]

Twitter removed the original tweet.

It was in reference to this scene.

 

[thedddd]

A 58-year-old Virginia man died on Friday after a bear fell on him while he was on a hunting trip, according to Virginia officials.

The bear ran up a tree, and, as the group walked away from the tree, one of the hunters shot the bear. The bear fell onto Harvey, who was standing about 10 feet from the bottom of the tree, the department said.

https://thehill.com/homenews/state-watch/5044878-virginia-man-bear-hunting-death/

I laugh at this Darwin Award winner. I can’t bear the grief his family is going through.

 

[dare2be]

I laugh at this Darwin Award winner. I can’t bear the grief his family is going through.

Is it unbearable?

On-bearable?

Bear-onable?

 

[dare2be]

The Lost in Space reboot is better than the original.

NASA's 2 stuck astronauts face more time in space with return delayed until at least late March

NASA's two stuck astronauts just got their space mission extended again. That means they won't be back until spring, 10 months after rocketing into orbit on Boeing's Starliner capsule.

apnews.com