OT: 2018 Winter Olympics

[elocomotive]

I am sure you jest (well, pretty sure, ummm, maybe, uhhh, you are kidding right?) but to provide a quick insight into the complexities of curling for those who have not yet had the pleasure:

Curling is hard. Not physically like weightlifting, moreso mentally. There is a LOT to the game that you just dont see when you watch it on TV. Probably the closest sport to curling in this regard is golf. But I would suggest it is much harder then golf. Why?

Some things you might not know about curling (unless you are from Manitoba)

• The ice is not smooth. Before each game someone sprinkles water drops all over the surface (pebbling).
• This creates a texture to the ice a little like a football.
• The little bumps/pebbles provide the opportunity to make the rock curl (or move laterally) when thrown
• Each sheet of ice is different. Even the one the guys are playing on right next to you.
• How is it different? You can throw the rock the exact same way on two sheets of ice; on one, it will curl 6 feet, on another 6 inches.
• How do you know how much it will curl? Practice throws before the game, trial and error, and watching your opponent (no, they are being creepy pervs when they stand right behind the hot chick from Norway)
• When they throw the rock, the shooter turns the rock in the direction they want it to curl (clockwise or counterclockwise)
  • Unless you have negative ice, then it will go the opposite (that is Graduate level info, skip for now)
• If you dont turn the rock when you throw it, the pebble will help the rock decide which way it will curl. Might as well flip a coin, who knows where it is going
• What does sweeping/brushing do? Two things, it makes the thrown rock travel farther, and reduces the curl
• Why sweep? To modify those two variables
• How does sweeping work? Sweeping creates friction and friction creates heat. Heat melts the ice and makes it more slippery, thus making the rock slide farther. Sweeping also wears down those pesky pebbles and since pebbles make the rock curl, less pebbles means less curl
• How do you know when to sweep? The old guy holding the broom at the end is screaming at you.
• Seriously? Practice. it is a skill that is learned, the best curlers know as they are throwing the rock whether it will get to the desired end target.
• Back to the rock for a second. No two rocks are the same. They weight about the same (not exact, go play in some bonspiel in Powassan and you will see what I mean) but they are manufactured to flatten the bottom. The bottom of the rock is actually hollowed out slightly (necessary to make the rock slide) and that creates a round ring surface on the bottom. In a new rock, the ring is very sharp, but the ring degrades over time, causing the rock to get "flatter" and less likely to curl. Each rock is a box of Forrest Gump's chocolates
• Throwing the rock again. The shooter turns the rock in one direction or the other as they throw it. Most curlers are better turning the rock one direction over the other. Try turning your wrist while sitting at your computer. One feels natural, one not so much. The best curlers know what turn their teammates prefer and devise strategy to accomodate. [Kind of like fades and draws in golf]. The elite curlers can figure out by watching what THEIR OPPONENTS are better at, and devise strategies accordingly.

OK tl;dr. I know. So I will stop. Point is there is a LOT to curling you just dont get while watching it once every 4 years. Can you be a beer-drinking slightly overweight armchair quarterback to compete? Yes you can. But that is selling the game short. There is a lot more then meets the eye here.

First off, awesome post. I learned some new stuff about curling.

Second, while I do enjoy watching it and have no doubt it's a game of skill and strategy, it just seems odd to have it as a "sporting" event. I have no doubt it requires skill and finesse. But so do darts and cornhole. I feel the same way about shooting events during the summer games. I think you should have to risk breaking a sweat for it to be an Olympic event.

Speaking of events - bring back speed skiing!

 

[jstewismybastardson]

 

[Nasty_Magician]

 

[SlinkyRedfoot]

Teams always have an alternate.

*cough cough*

Awww. I can understand how it would be difficult to grasp the possibility that I could jump in and win an olympic gold medal at a sport that Canadians think is so hard with less than four years of experience, but believe me, it's coming. This mother fucker don't play. When I set my mind to something, I get it done, and this is going to be a lot easier than other things I've accomplished.

Don't worry though, I don't take your irreverence personally. In fact, once I win the gold, I'll send you an autographed hat.

 

[dash]

I think you should have to risk breaking a sweat for it to be an Olympic event.

I think curling suffers from the same stereotypes as golf, yes you don't have to be super fit to be good at it, but you're seeing less and less of that type of person at the upper echelons of both sports.

Case in point...

These guys are jacked!

 

[jstewismybastardson]

thats a gold medal mattola right there lol

 

[BGDave]

First off, awesome post. I learned some new stuff about curling.

Second, while I do enjoy watching it and have no doubt it's a game of skill and strategy, it just seems odd to have it as a "sporting" event. I have no doubt it requires skill and finesse. But so do darts and cornhole. I feel the same way about shooting events during the summer games. I think you should have to risk breaking a sweat for it to be an Olympic event.

Speaking of events - bring back speed skiing!

You're welcome and I agree with your overall sentiment. When the skip stands at one end of the ice almost all game and has a Molson Canadian (TM) sitting on top of the scoreboard during the game, it is kinda hard to see it as an Olympic sport.

The guys who sweep will sometimes sweat though. Does that help?

 

[Nasty_Magician]

thats a gold medal mattola right there lol

It's deserving of being on a second page.

 

[Bloody Brian Burke]

Awww. I can understand how it would be difficult to grasp the possibility that I could jump in and win an olympic gold medal at a sport that Canadians think is so hard with less than four years of experience, but believe me, it's coming. This mother fucker don't play. When I set my mind to something, I get it done, and this is going to be a lot easier than other things I've accomplished.

Don't worry though, I don't take your irreverence personally. In fact, once I win the gold, I'll send you an autographed hat.

Yeah but what's your opinion on Utz' Crab Chips?

 

[SlinkyRedfoot]

Yeah but what's your opinion on Utz' Crab Chips?

They sound good, but I've never tried them.

I did have crabs once back in the 90's. That wasn't my favorite.

 

[forty_three]

Don't worry though, I don't take your irreverence personally. In fact, once I win the gold, I'll send you an autographed hat.

I sell my signed pickleball bats (clubs?) for 3.50 each.

thats a gold medal mattola right there lol

God damned Canadian judges cost me a gold.

They sound good, but I've never tried them.

I did have crabs once back in the 90's. That wasn't my favorite.

HOLY SHIT, SOMEONE GET THIS CURLING LEGEND INTO WITNESS PROTECTION PRONTO!!!

 

[Darkstone42]

First off, awesome post. I learned some new stuff about curling.

Second, while I do enjoy watching it and have no doubt it's a game of skill and strategy, it just seems odd to have it as a "sporting" event. I have no doubt it requires skill and finesse. But so do darts and cornhole. I feel the same way about shooting events during the summer games. I think you should have to risk breaking a sweat for it to be an Olympic event.

Speaking of events - bring back speed skiing!

Being a truly effective sweeper requires a level of fitness and effort. And I think there are two legitimate classes of sport--the high athleticism type, best demonstrated in things like gymnastics and track and field and cross-country skiing; and the high-precision type like golf, shooting, and skiing. They might not be the high-flying, fast movement types of games, but they require elite body control. Shooting is a really excellent example of that--breath and heart rate command are necessary to be a consistent shooter, and that's definitely a type of fitness and athleticism. And that's what makes biathlon athletes so remarkable to me.

 

[elocomotive]

Yeah but what's your opinion on Utz' Crab Chips?

They're good, but you can't eat them all the time either.

 

[dash]

The Norway men's curling team wishes everyone a Happy Valentines Day...

 

[elocomotive]

The Norway men's curling team wishes everyone a Happy Valentines Day...

Missed marketing/revenue opportunities for both Necco Sweethearts and Swiffer.

 

[dash]

Missed marketing/revenue opportunities for both Necco Sweethearts and Swiffer.

For the hard-to-buy-for lady in your life...

 

[Comeds]

Crab Balls either.....

For the hard-to-but-for lady in your life...

Hard to but for? Whoa, lets keep it clean Dash!

 

[dash]

Crab Balls either.....

Hard to but for? Whoa, lets keep it clean Dash!

lol - Edited now (amazing how one letter can make a world of difference)

 

[Darkstone42]

lol - Edited now (amazing how one letter can make a world of difference)

On this note, the team who won last night's trivia were called Eat My Butt 69, so that was very mature of them.

/They'd fit right in here.

//

///

 

[jstewismybastardson]

On this note, the team who won last night's trivia were called Eat My Butt 69, so that was very mature of them.

/They'd fit right in here.

//

///