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NFL Power Rankings: Week 4-ish Edition

ThereIsNoPlace

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You said two teams not four.

That's pretty good beating the Raiders and it's not even Sunday yet. Not only counting chicken before they hatch, but da Bears knocked the faders out for week 6 too, awesome
We're gonna make Derek "Billie Joe Armstrong" Carr's eye liner run like you when you hear "I.N.S!" yelled at your neighborhood gay bar.
 

knowyourenemy

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well you know...you beat Atlanta and Detroit.

giggles

The 49ers have 0 wins against teams with an above .500 record. Combined record of opponents? 3-9.
 

knowyourenemy

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Only 2 teams would score more than 14 points on the Bears defense right now: KC & NE. GB might get 20/21 because they hate us. I believe that puts the Bears top 4 or 5 in the league right now.

The 0-4 Washington Redskins literally just scored more than 14 on the Bears last week.
 

knowyourenemy

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Don't have to appease me. If you'd put them lower in the 13-14 range I would've agreed lol.

Keep in mind, I’m down on the entire NFC West. The Rams, Seahawks, and 49ers are all ranked in the 10-14 range despite a combined 9-2 record.
 

Rock Strongo

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32. Miami Dolphins, 0-4 (32):
The outlook is bleak for the Dolphins, but wait! They get to play the Washington Redskins in week 5. This should be good. And by good, I mean horrible, unwatchable football.

31. Washington Redskins, 0-4 (31):
Before posting this, I googled Jay Gruden to see if he has been fired yet...and it turns out that he has not. But I scrolled down a little bit and the first thing listed under “People also ask” is “Is Jay Gruden related to Jon Gruden?” Are people really that mind numbingly stupid? But then I remembered, Daniel Snyder hired a guy based on his killer resume from the Arena Football League.

30. Arizona Cardinals, 0-3-1 (29):
I really want to rank the Cardinals lower for making me include a tie in their W-L record but nothing can justify ranking any team lower than the Dolphins and Redskins right now.

29. New York Jets, 0-3 (21):
Does Sam Darnold really have mono or does he just not want to play with a team as bad as the Jets? Inquiring minds want to know.

28. Pittsburgh Steelers, 0-3 (12) & 27. Cincinnati Bengals, 0-3 (26):
I’m going to lump these two teams together because no one outside of the worthless stretch of land between Pittsburgh and Cincinnati gives a rat’s ass about the outcome of tonight’s game. Sadly, whoever wins will only be one game out of first place in the division.

26. New York Giants, 2-2 (30):
The Giants might be the worst 2-2 team in NFL history.

25. Denver Broncos, 0-4 (28):
There isn’t much to talk about with Denver so I’ll just say - I drafted Courtland Sutton in my fantasy league and this guy is killing it. 22 receptions, 309 yards, 2 TD. Hell of a pickup for me.

24. Atlanta Falcons, 1-3 (11):
It’s almost inexplicable that the Falcons’ lone win is against a very impressive Eagles team. But crazy stuff happens some times, like blowing a 25-point lead with a few minutes left in the 3rd quarter.

23. Baltimore Ravens, 2-2 (23):
The Ravens have beaten the Dolphins and Cardinals. They have lost to the Chiefs and the Browns. They are not a good team.

22. Tampa Bay Buccaneers, 2-2 (24):
Putting the smack down on an overrated Rams team isn’t enough to make me forget that they lost to the Giants and that Jameis Winston is a human pick six machine.

21. Houston Texans, 2-2 (7):
Why is Bill O’Brien still employed as an NFL head coach?

20. Cleveland Browns, 2-2 (8):
When your star players make an extremely lame video based on the “Friends” opening credits, you don’t belong anywhere near the top of the list. Cleveland plays again Monday night in San Francisco. The only thing lamer than what they’ve already done is if they follow it up with a video based on the opening credits of “Full House.” Who gets dibs on playing Uncle Jesse?

19. Carolina Panthers, 2-2 (10):
The Panthers are undefeated when their starting quarterback is more focused on how he plays than how he dresses.

18. Tennessee Titans, 2-2 (25):
I honestly don’t know what to make of Tennessee. Mariota sort of sucks, but he has the 7th highest passer rating in the league. He has yet to throw an interception, but he also has been sacked 17 times.

17. Oakland Raiders, 2-2 (22):
Most people do not believe in Jon Gruden but I would be shocked if he doesn’t turn Oakland into a competitive team. Maybe not this year, but hey, the guy has 8+ years left on his contract!

16. Minnesota Vikings, 2-2 (15):
I still can’t believe these dopes gave Kirk Cousins a fully guaranteed contract.

15. Jacksonville Jaguars, 2-2 (3):
Initially projected to compete for the AFC, this team’s hopes and dreams were doused with cold water when Nick Foles got hurt in the first game. With Gardner Minshew beginning to weather the storm, the question now is - can Minshew keep this team in the hunt while Foles recovers? If so, does anyone doubt that Foles will lead this team to the playoffs and an inevitable Super Bowl appearance?

14. San Francisco 49ers, 3-0 (18):
In the last three seasons, Jimmy Garoppolo has 17 TDs and 12 INTs. And 49ers fans wonder why this team doesn’t get respect.

13. Indianapolis Colts, 2-2 (20):
The Colts have lost to the Raiders and Chargers which is exactly why they will probably beat the undefeated Chiefs in Kansas City next week. The NFL just doesn’t make sense, sort of like when a starting QB in the prime of his career, with all the potential in the world, retires a couple weeks before the season starts.

12. Los Angeles Chargers, 2-2 (16):
The Chargers were missing half their offense on Sunday and still managed to cover the spread against the Dolphins. This team has struggled but I think the offense could be really, really good once they get rolling.

11. Seattle Seahawks, 3-1 (19):
With three wins over three of my bottom six teams, two of them by a total of three points, it’s a wonder that the Seahawks aren’t ranked significantly lower. I wanted to try to appease Seattle fans, who I am certain will still complain that their team is too low.

10. Los Angeles Rams, 3-1 (9):
Remember when the Buccaneers embarrassingly lost to the Giants on a missed 34 yard field goal? Remember when they put up a season high 55 points on the defending NFC champion Rams in Los Angeles? I’m not sure which was worse - this week’s loss to the Bucs or that time where they totally shit the bed in the Super Bowl.

9. Chicago Bears, 3-1 (6):
Is it possible that this team is better with Chase Daniel than with Mitchell Trubisky? Probably not, but this team is going to win based on its defense and all they need is someone half competent back there.

8. Detroit Lions, 2-1-1 (27):
Forget about the embarrassing tie to the lowly Cardinals, wins over the Eagles and Chargers and a close loss to the Chiefs show that this team is totally ready to be good enough to get Lions’ fans hopes up and then crushingly break their heart at some point this season.

7. Green Bay Packers, 3-1 (17):
These guys are probably ranked too high...but their only loss is to the Eagles and they’re 2-0 in a division that looks like it might be the most competitive in football this year. Forget that their defense is completely unable to stop the run because I’m told that their pass rush and secondary are really good!

6. Buffalo Bills, 3-1 (14):
The Bills went toe-to-toe with the Patriots and, of course, lost. But the Bills were able to hold Tom Brady to 150 yards passing and zero touchdowns. Despite 4 interceptions from the offense and a switch to their backup QB late in the game, the Bills were in this until the very end. Know this - the defense is legit.

5. Dallas Cowboys, 3-1 (13):
There has been much debate about Dak Prescott’s arm strength. On Sunday night, he dropped back to throw a Hail Mary and it went a total of 42 yards beyond the line of scrimmage and was easily intercepted by the Saints. Was he pressured and throwing off of his back foot? Maybe...but is any of that really relevant?

4. Philadelphia Eagles, 2-2 (1):
Some people will complain about the Eagles ranking and say, “The Eagles are way too low!” or “The Eagles are way better than the teams you have ranked above them.” While all of this is true (they lead the league in games that they should have won after all), the power rankings unfortunately factor actual results into the formula.

3. New Orleans Saints, 3-1 (5):
When future HOFer Drew Brees went down with an injury, some people wrote off the Saints but the team has risen to the challenge these past couple weeks. Recall that when would-be MVP and future HOFer Carson Wentz got hurt in 2017, the Eagles rallied around their backup QB and went on to win the Super Bowl. Good teams find ways to win, and the Saints are a very good team.

2. New England Patriots, 4-0 (4):
While no one knows how the Patriots will ever replace Antonio Brown, the team managed to gut out a win against the upstart Bills in Buffalo. The big story for the Patriots is that the defense has been absolutely dominant, which means they may be able to once again carry Tom Brady to another Super Bowl victory.

1. Kansas City Chiefs, 4-0 (2):
This team always seems to find a way to win...in the regular season. Sure, they’ll almost assuredly lose a game in the playoffs that they have no business losing, but let’s just appreciate them for who they are - the most exciting offense to watch week in and week out.
are these yours again or someone with clout?
 

knowyourenemy

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oh ok, just checking. i was wondering why there was no link to a source.

Damn. I’ve been teasing these rankings for WEEKS! Much like Andy Reid, I’ve got to do a better job.
 

knowyourenemy

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No? we were up 28 points and went soft prevent.

Garbage time doesn’t exist in the 2nd and 3rd quarters. There was actually a drive in the 4th quarter where Washington could have made it a one possession game (and would have with a field goal if Gruden didn’t moronically go for 2 after both touchdowns) with 7+ minutes to play.

The Bears have given up 14 and 15 to two relatively bad offenses. But go ahead and believe that the only two teams that can put up more than 14 on them are the Patriots and Chiefs.
 

Carnzo

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Team Name, W-L record (prior ranking)

32. Miami Dolphins, 0-4 (32):
The outlook is bleak for the Dolphins, but wait! They get to play the Washington Redskins in week 5. This should be good. And by good, I mean horrible, unwatchable football.

31. Washington Redskins, 0-4 (31):
Before posting this, I googled Jay Gruden to see if he has been fired yet...and it turns out that he has not. But I scrolled down a little bit and the first thing listed under “People also ask” is “Is Jay Gruden related to Jon Gruden?” Are people really that mind numbingly stupid? But then I remembered, Daniel Snyder hired a guy based on his killer resume from the Arena Football League.

30. Arizona Cardinals, 0-3-1 (29):
I really want to rank the Cardinals lower for making me include a tie in their W-L record but nothing can justify ranking any team lower than the Dolphins and Redskins right now.

29. New York Jets, 0-3 (21):
Does Sam Darnold really have mono or does he just not want to play with a team as bad as the Jets? Inquiring minds want to know.

28. Pittsburgh Steelers, 0-3 (12) & 27. Cincinnati Bengals, 0-3 (26):
I’m going to lump these two teams together because no one outside of the worthless stretch of land between Pittsburgh and Cincinnati gives a rat’s ass about the outcome of tonight’s game. Sadly, whoever wins will only be one game out of first place in the division.

26. New York Giants, 2-2 (30):
The Giants might be the worst 2-2 team in NFL history.

25. Denver Broncos, 0-4 (28):
There isn’t much to talk about with Denver so I’ll just say - I drafted Courtland Sutton in my fantasy league and this guy is killing it. 22 receptions, 309 yards, 2 TD. Hell of a pickup for me.

24. Atlanta Falcons, 1-3 (11):
It’s almost inexplicable that the Falcons’ lone win is against a very impressive Eagles team. But crazy stuff happens some times, like blowing a 25-point lead with a few minutes left in the 3rd quarter.

23. Baltimore Ravens, 2-2 (23):
The Ravens have beaten the Dolphins and Cardinals. They have lost to the Chiefs and the Browns. They are not a good team.

22. Tampa Bay Buccaneers, 2-2 (24):
Putting the smack down on an overrated Rams team isn’t enough to make me forget that they lost to the Giants and that Jameis Winston is a human pick six machine.

21. Houston Texans, 2-2 (7):
Why is Bill O’Brien still employed as an NFL head coach?

20. Cleveland Browns, 2-2 (8):
When your star players make an extremely lame video based on the “Friends” opening credits, you don’t belong anywhere near the top of the list. Cleveland plays again Monday night in San Francisco. The only thing lamer than what they’ve already done is if they follow it up with a video based on the opening credits of “Full House.” Who gets dibs on playing Uncle Jesse?

19. Carolina Panthers, 2-2 (10):
The Panthers are undefeated when their starting quarterback is more focused on how he plays than how he dresses.

18. Tennessee Titans, 2-2 (25):
I honestly don’t know what to make of Tennessee. Mariota sort of sucks, but he has the 7th highest passer rating in the league. He has yet to throw an interception, but he also has been sacked 17 times.

17. Oakland Raiders, 2-2 (22):
Most people do not believe in Jon Gruden but I would be shocked if he doesn’t turn Oakland into a competitive team. Maybe not this year, but hey, the guy has 8+ years left on his contract!

16. Minnesota Vikings, 2-2 (15):
I still can’t believe these dopes gave Kirk Cousins a fully guaranteed contract.

15. Jacksonville Jaguars, 2-2 (3):
Initially projected to compete for the AFC, this team’s hopes and dreams were doused with cold water when Nick Foles got hurt in the first game. With Gardner Minshew beginning to weather the storm, the question now is - can Minshew keep this team in the hunt while Foles recovers? If so, does anyone doubt that Foles will lead this team to the playoffs and an inevitable Super Bowl appearance?

14. San Francisco 49ers, 3-0 (18):
In the last three seasons, Jimmy Garoppolo has 17 TDs and 12 INTs. And 49ers fans wonder why this team doesn’t get respect.

13. Indianapolis Colts, 2-2 (20):
The Colts have lost to the Raiders and Chargers which is exactly why they will probably beat the undefeated Chiefs in Kansas City next week. The NFL just doesn’t make sense, sort of like when a starting QB in the prime of his career, with all the potential in the world, retires a couple weeks before the season starts.

12. Los Angeles Chargers, 2-2 (16):
The Chargers were missing half their offense on Sunday and still managed to cover the spread against the Dolphins. This team has struggled but I think the offense could be really, really good once they get rolling.

11. Seattle Seahawks, 3-1 (19):
With three wins over three of my bottom six teams, two of them by a total of three points, it’s a wonder that the Seahawks aren’t ranked significantly lower. I wanted to try to appease Seattle fans, who I am certain will still complain that their team is too low.

10. Los Angeles Rams, 3-1 (9):
Remember when the Buccaneers embarrassingly lost to the Giants on a missed 34 yard field goal? Remember when they put up a season high 55 points on the defending NFC champion Rams in Los Angeles? I’m not sure which was worse - this week’s loss to the Bucs or that time where they totally shit the bed in the Super Bowl.

9. Chicago Bears, 3-1 (6):
Is it possible that this team is better with Chase Daniel than with Mitchell Trubisky? Probably not, but this team is going to win based on its defense and all they need is someone half competent back there.

8. Detroit Lions, 2-1-1 (27):
Forget about the embarrassing tie to the lowly Cardinals, wins over the Eagles and Chargers and a close loss to the Chiefs show that this team is totally ready to be good enough to get Lions’ fans hopes up and then crushingly break their heart at some point this season.

7. Green Bay Packers, 3-1 (17):
These guys are probably ranked too high...but their only loss is to the Eagles and they’re 2-0 in a division that looks like it might be the most competitive in football this year. Forget that their defense is completely unable to stop the run because I’m told that their pass rush and secondary are really good!

6. Buffalo Bills, 3-1 (14):
The Bills went toe-to-toe with the Patriots and, of course, lost. But the Bills were able to hold Tom Brady to 150 yards passing and zero touchdowns. Despite 4 interceptions from the offense and a switch to their backup QB late in the game, the Bills were in this until the very end. Know this - the defense is legit.

5. Dallas Cowboys, 3-1 (13):
There has been much debate about Dak Prescott’s arm strength. On Sunday night, he dropped back to throw a Hail Mary and it went a total of 42 yards beyond the line of scrimmage and was easily intercepted by the Saints. Was he pressured and throwing off of his back foot? Maybe...but is any of that really relevant?

4. Philadelphia Eagles, 2-2 (1):
Some people will complain about the Eagles ranking and say, “The Eagles are way too low!” or “The Eagles are way better than the teams you have ranked above them.” While all of this is true (they lead the league in games that they should have won after all), the power rankings unfortunately factor actual results into the formula.

3. New Orleans Saints, 3-1 (5):
When future HOFer Drew Brees went down with an injury, some people wrote off the Saints but the team has risen to the challenge these past couple weeks. Recall that when would-be MVP and future HOFer Carson Wentz got hurt in 2017, the Eagles rallied around their backup QB and went on to win the Super Bowl. Good teams find ways to win, and the Saints are a very good team.

2. New England Patriots, 4-0 (4):
While no one knows how the Patriots will ever replace Antonio Brown, the team managed to gut out a win against the upstart Bills in Buffalo. The big story for the Patriots is that the defense has been absolutely dominant, which means they may be able to once again carry Tom Brady to another Super Bowl victory.

1. Kansas City Chiefs, 4-0 (2):
This team always seems to find a way to win...in the regular season. Sure, they’ll almost assuredly lose a game in the playoffs that they have no business losing, but let’s just appreciate them for who they are - the most exciting offense to watch week in and week out.
Good work on the list. Thanks
 

boogiewithstu2007

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This is alway's just opinion... We'll know more as the season rolls on, still too early....
 

knowyourenemy

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This is alway's just opinion... We'll know more as the season rolls on, still too early....

It’s definitely tough to tell. Things will get a little clearer as time goes on. That’s why I try to update it every 4 weeks or so. Every week is just ridiculous.
 

jerseyhawksfan79

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Keep in mind, I’m down on the entire NFC West. The Rams, Seahawks, and 49ers are all ranked in the 10-14 range despite a combined 9-2 record.

I understand it's a bogus ranking but if you're keeping it real, how are the eagles still top 5 and the 3 teams above are behind the Eagles?
 
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