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NFL Power Rankings: Week 4-ish Edition

knowyourenemy

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32. Miami Dolphins, 0-4 (32):
The outlook is bleak for the Dolphins, but wait! They get to play the Washington Redskins in week 5. This should be good. And by good, I mean horrible, unwatchable football.

31. Washington Redskins, 0-4 (31):
Before posting this, I googled Jay Gruden to see if he has been fired yet...and it turns out that he has not. But I scrolled down a little bit and the first thing listed under “People also ask” is “Is Jay Gruden related to Jon Gruden?” Are people really that mind numbingly stupid? But then I remembered, Daniel Snyder hired a guy based on his killer resume from the Arena Football League.

30. Arizona Cardinals, 0-3-1 (29):
I really want to rank the Cardinals lower for making me include a tie in their W-L record but nothing can justify ranking any team lower than the Dolphins and Redskins right now.

29. New York Jets, 0-3 (21):
Does Sam Darnold really have mono or does he just not want to play with a team as bad as the Jets? Inquiring minds want to know.

28. Pittsburgh Steelers, 0-3 (12) & 27. Cincinnati Bengals, 0-3 (26):
I’m going to lump these two teams together because no one outside of the worthless stretch of land between Pittsburgh and Cincinnati gives a rat’s ass about the outcome of tonight’s game. Sadly, whoever wins will only be one game out of first place in the division.

26. New York Giants, 2-2 (30):
The Giants might be the worst 2-2 team in NFL history.

25. Denver Broncos, 0-4 (28):
There isn’t much to talk about with Denver so I’ll just say - I drafted Courtland Sutton in my fantasy league and this guy is killing it. 22 receptions, 309 yards, 2 TD. Hell of a pickup for me.

24. Atlanta Falcons, 1-3 (11):
It’s almost inexplicable that the Falcons’ lone win is against a very impressive Eagles team. But crazy stuff happens some times, like blowing a 25-point lead with a few minutes left in the 3rd quarter.

23. Baltimore Ravens, 2-2 (23):
The Ravens have beaten the Dolphins and Cardinals. They have lost to the Chiefs and the Browns. They are not a good team.

22. Tampa Bay Buccaneers, 2-2 (24):
Putting the smack down on an overrated Rams team isn’t enough to make me forget that they lost to the Giants and that Jameis Winston is a human pick six machine.

21. Houston Texans, 2-2 (7):
Why is Bill O’Brien still employed as an NFL head coach?

20. Cleveland Browns, 2-2 (8):
When your star players make an extremely lame video based on the “Friends” opening credits, you don’t belong anywhere near the top of the list. Cleveland plays again Monday night in San Francisco. The only thing lamer than what they’ve already done is if they follow it up with a video based on the opening credits of “Full House.” Who gets dibs on playing Uncle Jesse?

19. Carolina Panthers, 2-2 (10):
The Panthers are undefeated when their starting quarterback is more focused on how he plays than how he dresses.

18. Tennessee Titans, 2-2 (25):
I honestly don’t know what to make of Tennessee. Mariota sort of sucks, but he has the 7th highest passer rating in the league. He has yet to throw an interception, but he also has been sacked 17 times.

17. Oakland Raiders, 2-2 (22):
Most people do not believe in Jon Gruden but I would be shocked if he doesn’t turn Oakland into a competitive team. Maybe not this year, but hey, the guy has 8+ years left on his contract!

16. Minnesota Vikings, 2-2 (15):
I still can’t believe these dopes gave Kirk Cousins a fully guaranteed contract.

15. Jacksonville Jaguars, 2-2 (3):
Initially projected to compete for the AFC, this team’s hopes and dreams were doused with cold water when Nick Foles got hurt in the first game. With Gardner Minshew beginning to weather the storm, the question now is - can Minshew keep this team in the hunt while Foles recovers? If so, does anyone doubt that Foles will lead this team to the playoffs and an inevitable Super Bowl appearance?

14. San Francisco 49ers, 3-0 (18):
In the last three seasons, Jimmy Garoppolo has 17 TDs and 12 INTs. And 49ers fans wonder why this team doesn’t get respect.

13. Indianapolis Colts, 2-2 (20):
The Colts have lost to the Raiders and Chargers which is exactly why they will probably beat the undefeated Chiefs in Kansas City next week. The NFL just doesn’t make sense, sort of like when a starting QB in the prime of his career, with all the potential in the world, retires a couple weeks before the season starts.

12. Los Angeles Chargers, 2-2 (16):
The Chargers were missing half their offense on Sunday and still managed to cover the spread against the Dolphins. This team has struggled but I think the offense could be really, really good once they get rolling.

11. Seattle Seahawks, 3-1 (19):
With three wins over three of my bottom six teams, two of them by a total of three points, it’s a wonder that the Seahawks aren’t ranked significantly lower. I wanted to try to appease Seattle fans, who I am certain will still complain that their team is too low.

10. Los Angeles Rams, 3-1 (9):
Remember when the Buccaneers embarrassingly lost to the Giants on a missed 34 yard field goal? Remember when they put up a season high 55 points on the defending NFC champion Rams in Los Angeles? I’m not sure which was worse - this week’s loss to the Bucs or that time where they totally shit the bed in the Super Bowl.

9. Chicago Bears, 3-1 (6):
Is it possible that this team is better with Chase Daniel than with Mitchell Trubisky? Probably not, but this team is going to win based on its defense and all they need is someone half competent back there.

8. Detroit Lions, 2-1-1 (27):
Forget about the embarrassing tie to the lowly Cardinals, wins over the Eagles and Chargers and a close loss to the Chiefs show that this team is totally ready to be good enough to get Lions’ fans hopes up and then crushingly break their heart at some point this season.

7. Green Bay Packers, 3-1 (17):
These guys are probably ranked too high...but their only loss is to the Eagles and they’re 2-0 in a division that looks like it might be the most competitive in football this year. Forget that their defense is completely unable to stop the run because I’m told that their pass rush and secondary are really good!

6. Buffalo Bills, 3-1 (14):
The Bills went toe-to-toe with the Patriots and, of course, lost. But the Bills were able to hold Tom Brady to 150 yards passing and zero touchdowns. Despite 4 interceptions from the offense and a switch to their backup QB late in the game, the Bills were in this until the very end. Know this - the defense is legit.

5. Dallas Cowboys, 3-1 (13):
There has been much debate about Dak Prescott’s arm strength. On Sunday night, he dropped back to throw a Hail Mary and it went a total of 42 yards beyond the line of scrimmage and was easily intercepted by the Saints. Was he pressured and throwing off of his back foot? Maybe...but is any of that really relevant?

4. Philadelphia Eagles, 2-2 (1):
Some people will complain about the Eagles ranking and say, “The Eagles are way too low!” or “The Eagles are way better than the teams you have ranked above them.” While all of this is true (they lead the league in games that they should have won after all), the power rankings unfortunately factor actual results into the formula.

3. New Orleans Saints, 3-1 (5):
When future HOFer Drew Brees went down with an injury, some people wrote off the Saints but the team has risen to the challenge these past couple weeks. Recall that when would-be MVP and future HOFer Carson Wentz got hurt in 2017, the Eagles rallied around their backup QB and went on to win the Super Bowl. Good teams find ways to win, and the Saints are a very good team.

2. New England Patriots, 4-0 (4):
While no one knows how the Patriots will ever replace Antonio Brown, the team managed to gut out a win against the upstart Bills in Buffalo. The big story for the Patriots is that the defense has been absolutely dominant, which means they may be able to once again carry Tom Brady to another Super Bowl victory.

1. Kansas City Chiefs, 4-0 (2):
This team always seems to find a way to win...in the regular season. Sure, they’ll almost assuredly lose a game in the playoffs that they have no business losing, but let’s just appreciate them for who they are - the most exciting offense to watch week in and week out.
 

ATL96Steeler

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32. Miami Dolphins, 0-4 (32):
The outlook is bleak for the Dolphins, but wait! They get to play the Washington Redskins in week 5. This should be good. And by good, I mean horrible, unwatchable football.

31. Washington Redskins, 0-4 (31):
Before posting this, I googled Jay Gruden to see if he has been fired yet...and it turns out that he has not. But I scrolled down a little bit and the first thing listed under “People also ask” is “Is Jay Gruden related to Jon Gruden?” Are people really that mind numbingly stupid? But then I remembered, Daniel Snyder hired a guy based on his killer resume from the Arena Football League.

30. Arizona Cardinals, 0-3-1 (29):
I really want to rank the Cardinals lower for making me include a tie in their W-L record but nothing can justify ranking any team lower than the Dolphins and Redskins right now.

29. New York Jets, 0-3 (21):
Does Sam Darnold really have mono or does he just not want to play with a team as bad as the Jets? Inquiring minds want to know.

28. Pittsburgh Steelers, 0-3 (12) & 27. Cincinnati Bengals, 0-3 (26):
I’m going to lump these two teams together because no one outside of the worthless stretch of land between Pittsburgh and Cincinnati gives a rat’s ass about the outcome of tonight’s game. Sadly, whoever wins will only be one game out of first place in the division.

26. New York Giants, 2-2 (30):
The Giants might be the worst 2-2 team in NFL history.

25. Denver Broncos, 0-4 (28):
There isn’t much to talk about with Denver so I’ll just say - I drafted Courtland Sutton in my fantasy league and this guy is killing it. 22 receptions, 309 yards, 2 TD. Hell of a pickup for me.

24. Atlanta Falcons, 1-3 (11):
It’s almost inexplicable that the Falcons’ lone win is against a very impressive Eagles team. But crazy stuff happens some times, like blowing a 25-point lead with a few minutes left in the 3rd quarter.

23. Baltimore Ravens, 2-2 (23):
The Ravens have beaten the Dolphins and Cardinals. They have lost to the Chiefs and the Browns. They are not a good team.

22. Tampa Bay Buccaneers, 2-2 (24):
Putting the smack down on an overrated Rams team isn’t enough to make me forget that they lost to the Giants and that Jameis Winston is a human pick six machine.

21. Houston Texans, 2-2 (7):
Why is Bill O’Brien still employed as an NFL head coach?

20. Cleveland Browns, 2-2 (8):
When your star players make an extremely lame video based on the “Friends” opening credits, you don’t belong anywhere near the top of the list. Cleveland plays again Monday night in San Francisco. The only thing lamer than what they’ve already done is if they follow it up with a video based on the opening credits of “Full House.” Who gets dibs on playing Uncle Jesse?

19. Carolina Panthers, 2-2 (10):
The Panthers are undefeated when their starting quarterback is more focused on how he plays than how he dresses.

18. Tennessee Titans, 2-2 (25):
I honestly don’t know what to make of Tennessee. Mariota sort of sucks, but he has the 7th highest passer rating in the league. He has yet to throw an interception, but he also has been sacked 17 times.

17. Oakland Raiders, 2-2 (22):
Most people do not believe in Jon Gruden but I would be shocked if he doesn’t turn Oakland into a competitive team. Maybe not this year, but hey, the guy has 8+ years left on his contract!

16. Minnesota Vikings, 2-2 (15):
I still can’t believe these dopes gave Kirk Cousins a fully guaranteed contract.

15. Jacksonville Jaguars, 2-2 (3):
Initially projected to compete for the AFC, this team’s hopes and dreams were doused with cold water when Nick Foles got hurt in the first game. With Gardner Minshew beginning to weather the storm, the question now is - can Minshew keep this team in the hunt while Foles recovers? If so, does anyone doubt that Foles will lead this team to the playoffs and an inevitable Super Bowl appearance?

14. San Francisco 49ers, 3-0 (18):
In the last three seasons, Jimmy Garoppolo has 17 TDs and 12 INTs. And 49ers fans wonder why this team doesn’t get respect.

13. Indianapolis Colts, 2-2 (20):
The Colts have lost to the Raiders and Chargers which is exactly why they will probably beat the undefeated Chiefs in Kansas City next week. The NFL just doesn’t make sense, sort of like when a starting QB in the prime of his career, with all the potential in the world, retires a couple weeks before the season starts.

12. Los Angeles Chargers, 2-2 (16):
The Chargers were missing half their offense on Sunday and still managed to cover the spread against the Dolphins. This team has struggled but I think the offense could be really, really good once they get rolling.

11. Seattle Seahawks, 3-1 (19):
With three wins over three of my bottom six teams, two of them by a total of three points, it’s a wonder that the Seahawks aren’t ranked significantly lower. I wanted to try to appease Seattle fans, who I am certain will still complain that their team is too low.

10. Los Angeles Rams, 3-1 (9):
Remember when the Buccaneers embarrassingly lost to the Giants on a missed 34 yard field goal? Remember when they put up a season high 55 points on the defending NFC champion Rams in Los Angeles? I’m not sure which was worse - this week’s loss to the Bucs or that time where they totally shit the bed in the Super Bowl.

9. Chicago Bears, 3-1 (6):
Is it possible that this team is better with Chase Daniel than with Mitchell Trubisky? Probably not, but this team is going to win based on its defense and all they need is someone half competent back there.

8. Detroit Lions, 2-1-1 (27):
Forget about the embarrassing tie to the lowly Cardinals, wins over the Eagles and Chargers and a close loss to the Chiefs show that this team is totally ready to be good enough to get Lions’ fans hopes up and then crushingly break their heart at some point this season.

7. Green Bay Packers, 3-1 (17):
These guys are probably ranked too high...but their only loss is to the Eagles and they’re 2-0 in a division that looks like it might be the most competitive in football this year. Forget that their defense is completely unable to stop the run because I’m told that their pass rush and secondary are really good!

6. Buffalo Bills, 3-1 (14):
The Bills went toe-to-toe with the Patriots and, of course, lost. But the Bills were able to hold Tom Brady to 150 yards passing and zero touchdowns. Despite 4 interceptions from the offense and a switch to their backup QB late in the game, the Bills were in this until the very end. Know this - the defense is legit.

5. Dallas Cowboys, 3-1 (13):
There has been much debate about Dak Prescott’s arm strength. On Sunday night, he dropped back to throw a Hail Mary and it went a total of 42 yards beyond the line of scrimmage and was easily intercepted by the Saints. Was he pressured and throwing off of his back foot? Maybe...but is any of that really relevant?

4. Philadelphia Eagles, 2-2 (1):
Some people will complain about the Eagles ranking and say, “The Eagles are way too low!” or “The Eagles are way better than the teams you have ranked above them.” While all of this is true (they lead the league in games that they should have won after all), the power rankings unfortunately factor actual results into the formula.

3. New Orleans Saints, 3-1 (5):
When future HOFer Drew Brees went down with an injury, some people wrote off the Saints but the team has risen to the challenge these past couple weeks. Recall that when would-be MVP and future HOFer Carson Wentz got hurt in 2017, the Eagles rallied around their backup QB and went on to win the Super Bowl. Good teams find ways to win, and the Saints are a very good team.

2. New England Patriots, 4-0 (4):
While no one knows how the Patriots will ever replace Antonio Brown, the team managed to gut out a win against the upstart Bills in Buffalo. The big story for the Patriots is that the defense has been absolutely dominant, which means they may be able to once again carry Tom Brady to another Super Bowl victory.

1. Kansas City Chiefs, 4-0 (2):
This team always seems to find a way to win...in the regular season. Sure, they’ll almost assuredly lose a game in the playoffs that they have no business losing, but let’s just appreciate them for who they are - the most exciting offense to watch week in and week out.

The bottom of the league...the 0fer teams...AZ, NYJ, PIT, CIN, MIA, DEN...FWIW, none of these teams should have a team ranked amongst them (NYG) that has tasted victory....twice!

The top 5

NE, tested by a DIV team, but still won by 6
KC, at some point the DEF will have to make a stand
NO, gutsy win with the backup QB
DAL, Dak coming back to earth, but D looks legit
GB, BUF...tie

Your Eagles might be better than both GB and BUF, but right now with two losses, one of them to a 1-3 Falcon team I need to see how the next quarter of the season shakes out.
 

knowyourenemy

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The bottom of the league...the 0fer teams...AZ, NYJ, PIT, CIN, MIA, DEN...FWIW, none of these teams should have a team ranked amongst them (NYG) that has tasted victory....twice!

The top 5

NE, tested by a DIV team, but still won by 6
KC, at some point the DEF will have to make a stand
NO, gutsy win with the backup QB
DAL, Dak coming back to earth, but D looks legit
GB, BUF...tie

Your Eagles might be better than both GB and BUF, but right now with two losses, one of them to a 1-3 Falcon team I need to see how the next quarter of the season shakes out.

Fair enough, though I don’t know how I could possibly rank the Packers ahead of the Eagles after Thursday’s game. I should probably have Detroit ahead of Green Bay but that tie to the Cardinals is hard to completely ignore. Outside of that, they’ve got wins over two top 12 teams and a very close loss to the top ranked team.

With Green Bay, I think we have to see them improve that run defense. If they can’t, they don’t belong in the top 15, let alone the top 5.
 

ATL96Steeler

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Fair enough, though I don’t know how I could possibly rank the Packers ahead of the Eagles after Thursday’s game. I should probably have Detroit ahead of Green Bay but that tie to the Cardinals is hard to completely ignore. Outside of that, they’ve got wins over two top 12 teams and a very close loss to the top ranked team.

With Green Bay, I think we have to see them improve that run defense. If they can’t, they don’t belong in the top 15, let alone the top 5.

The cream typically rises as the saying goes and I think that will start to happen once we get more into DIV play. Agree on GB run DEF, if they can’t fix it short order they won’t stay in the playoff hunt...2-2 over the next qtr will be pretty good for GB.
 

Anointed One

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Nice job with your rankings... You have the Seahawks at the right spot...
 

Sharkonabicycle

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11. Seattle Seahawks, 3-1 (19): With three wins over three of my bottom six teams, two of them by a total of three points, it’s a wonder that the Seahawks aren’t ranked significantly lower. I wanted to try to appease Seattle fans, who I am certain will still complain that their team is too low.

Don't have to appease me. If you'd put them lower in the 13-14 range I would've agreed lol.
 

CruiseControl

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14. San Francisco 49ers, 3-0 (18): In the last three seasons, Jimmy Garoppolo has 17 TDs and 12 INTs. And 49ers fans wonder why this team doesn’t get respect.

Eagles at 4th and 9ers at 14th eh?

good talk.


giphy.gif
 

ROMOTOOWENS

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Don’t sleep on TB. I know about Jameis, but Arians and Mohr on the sidelines can make a lot of QBs look good.
 

LionsWhyMe

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8. Detroit Lions, 2-1-1 (27): Forget about the embarrassing tie to the lowly Cardinals, wins over the Eagles and Chargers and a close loss to the Chiefs show that this team is totally ready to be good enough to get Lions’ fans hopes up and then crushingly break their heart at some point this season.
It must be a new Lions fan...

4e089ce9e285f10eafa5258ea2e4d884--detroit-lions-michigan.jpg
 

knowyourenemy

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14. San Francisco 49ers, 3-0 (18): In the last three seasons, Jimmy Garoppolo has 17 TDs and 12 INTs. And 49ers fans wonder why this team doesn’t get respect.

Eagles at 4th and 9ers at 14th eh?

good talk.


giphy.gif

You serious? No one thinks the 49ers are for real. They’re lucky they got ranked as high as they did.
 

knowyourenemy

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Don’t sleep on TB. I know about Jameis, but Arians and Mohr on the sidelines can make a lot of QBs look good.

I like Arians. I don’t even dislike Jameis that much. Lots of talent on that offense so they could be a sleeper team.

I want to see them do it more than once though to a good team.
 

ROMOTOOWENS

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I like Arians. I don’t even dislike Jameis that much. Lots of talent on that offense so they could be a sleeper team.

I want to see them do it more than once though to a good team.

No doubt. Jameis can look great at times. I see that old man talking to him on the sideline that used to be Peyton’s OC. If anyone is going to get it out of him Arians and that guy should. Their defense has given up a lot so far. They have good players on that side too. They are a dangerous team to play especially if Jameis is hot.
 

PhoenixEagles1

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No way are my Eagles #4 right now. Even if we did catch those 2 game winning TDs and were 4-0 I still don’t think they are top 4. The DLine is not what it used to be and have injury problem as well. The OLine and run game looked completely mediocre 3 of 4 games. Sprinkle in a shit ton of injuries and EASILY the worst secondary in the league I don’t see how that equates to a top 5 team.
 

ThereIsNoPlace

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Chicago's D just made 2 NFL teams look like small college football teams and they drop 3 spots?

Yoo Stooopid.
 

knowyourenemy

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Chicago's D just made 2 NFL teams look like small college football teams and they drop 3 spots?

Yoo Stooopid.

The previous ranking was from before week 1. There are a few teams that have leapfrogged them since then.
 

knowyourenemy

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No way are my Eagles #4 right now. Even if we did catch those 2 game winning TDs and were 4-0 I still don’t think they are top 4. The DLine is not what it used to be and have injury problem as well. The OLine and run game looked completely mediocre 3 of 4 games. Sprinkle in a shit ton of injuries and EASILY the worst secondary in the league I don’t see how that equates to a top 5 team.

Who should be ranked above them?
 

LionsWhyMe

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Are these not all NFL teams?
You said two teams not four.
Most likely the Raiders & Skins lost their very next game due to the beating the Bears D gave them.
That's pretty good beating the Raiders and it's not even Sunday yet. Not only counting chicken before they hatch, but da Bears knocked the faders out for week 6 too, thank goodness for a bye week.
 
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