I just sucker punched a Bama fan at the gas station

[Chewbaccer]

Bastard was sitting there buying 56657372 scratch offs and taking his sweet ass time, asking stupid questions, and acting like he had some kind of successful system for winning on scratch off tickets.

I waited patiently for a good 10 minutes, but all I wanted was my bologna biscuit and a can of snuff, and got tired of waiting, so I took a swing. Dude was at least 60.

Let me just say, if the Bama football team goes down as easy as this guy did, it's gonna be a long season in Tuscaloosa.

Spoiler

None of this actually happened

 

[RobBase]

Was he a Nazi?

 

[Chewbaccer]

Was he a Nazi?

Bama fan. Close enough.

 

[Red_Alert]

I fucking despise those scratch-off bastids that buy them and scratch them off in front of the register, then buy another, and another, repeat.

Get the fuck outta the way, you thoughtless douchebag. There's a line behind you and people got places to be.
.

 

[Chewbaccer]

I fucking despise those scratch-off bastids that buy them and scratch them off in front of the register, then buy another, and another, repeat.

Get the fuck outta the way, you thoughtless douchebag. There's a line behind you and people got places to be.
.

The story in the OP might have been made up, but it was inspired by very real thoughts that I didn't carry out on numerous occasions.

 

[ArlingtonCowboys100]

Yeah, when you hit someone when they are not looking it can be quite a shock to them. I only do this to people that deserve it

 

[Red_Alert]

The story in the OP might have been made up, but it was inspired by very real thoughts that I didn't carry out on numerous occasions.

Those are the fuckers that have the free lottery 'scratch-off tool' hanging from their key chain.

Use a coin douchebag. That scratch-off tool don't make you look cool.

 

[craigk217]

eat some cake, bruh

 

[7Samurai13]

eat a snickers, bruh

Fify

 

[Justin Tyme]

eat some cake, bruh

eat a snickers, bruh

eat a peach, bruh

 

[Used 2 B Hu]

OP sounds angry

 

[Chewbaccer]

eat a peach, bruh

One of the best albums of all time.

 

[Justin Tyme]

OP sounds angry

You do NOT stand between a man and his can of snuff!

 

[Used 2 B Hu]

You do NOT stand between a man and his can of snuff!

I know this well...used to work in a convenience store where the guys would know when the new cans of Copenhagen were being delivered. If we had cans with the old date, they wouldn't take them. They'd be all "GIMME THE NEW CANS, BITCH, or I'll SHOOT UP YER STORE!" I tried to tell them I'd never sell the old ones, and the boss would beat me if I didn't clear out the old stock first. "That won't be nothing compared to the beating I'LL GIVE YOU when you get off shift at 11PM (yeah, that's right, we know when you open up and when you lock it down). Now, give us the new date cans, and nobody gets hurt..except you...by your boss...which we give two shits about as long as we get the fresh dip..."

So I started wiping my ass with the new sleeves, before opening up.

 

[Win TWINS!!!]

Those are the fuckers that have the free lottery 'scratch-off tool' hanging from their key chain.

Use a coin douchebag. That scratch-off tool don't make you look cool.

They need to step up their game...

 

[Guy Incognito]

all I wanted was my bologna biscuit

 

[williewilliejuan]

Bastard was sitting there buying 56657372 scratch offs and taking his sweet ass time, asking stupid questions, and acting like he had some kind of successful system for winning on scratch off tickets.

I waited patiently for a good 10 minutes, but all I wanted was my bologna biscuit and a can of snuff, and got tired of waiting, so I took a swing. Dude was at least 60.

Let me just say, if the Bama football team goes down as easy as this guy did, it's gonna be a long season in Tuscaloosa.

Spoiler

None of this actually happened

You didn’t need the spoiler.

Like a Bama fan could afford scratch tickets....

 

[Chewbaccer]

You didn’t need the spoiler.

Like a Bama fan could afford scratch tickets....

True.

I should have said something like "A Bama fan was trying to use food stamps to buy some MD 20-20 Orange Jubilee, and was arguing with the cashier" to make it more believable.

 

[GoldRusher]

This him?





If so, he is trying to pay off his fines from Auburn..

 

[carson]

All Bama has to do is switch QBs during the game and Georgia is fucked