Good joke

[BostonAJ]

Couldn't find the joke thread but I like this one...

Two boys are playing hockey on a pond in a park in Toronto, when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his stick, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck.

A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy. "Young Leafs Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal", he writes in his notebook.

"But I'm not a Leafs fan," the little hero said.

"Sorry, since we're in Toronto, I just assumed you were." said the reporter and starts again. "Little Jays Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack!" he continued writing in his notebook.

"I'm not a Jays fan either," the boy said.

"I assumed everyone in Toronto was either a Leafs or a Jays fan. What team do you root for?" the reporter asked.

"I'm a Montreal Canadiens fan." the child said.

The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little French Shit from Montreal Kills Beloved Family Pet."

 

[scottflyers88]

funny stuff.

 

[postmaster]

From an actual court case:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

 

[Ties5o11]

From an actual court case:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

That is absolutely awesome.