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elocomotive
A useful idiot.
Dear Penguins Fan,
A few of you know me as former Penguins’ winger Jaromir Jagr, though vast majority of you know me as former Rangers’ winger Jaromir Jagr. If you still do not know who I am, you be seeing my jersey in rafters at Consol in the year 2073. I am writing to be expressing to you sincerest of apologies for not signing with your team.
There are many of reasons I select to be joined with the Philadelphia Flyers.
First of all, last time I was in Pittsburgh, I was second fiddle to a legend you know as Mario Lemieux. He cast big shadow and was hard for me. To come back to your team now to be second fiddle to Sidney Crosby would be okay. But to be fourth fiddle after man named Geno and another man with a woman’s name would bring shame to my family.
Second, I am made fun of frequent for my hair. As a Flyer, I would play alongside Scott Hartnell and would never again have to feel I have worst hair on team. Have you seen him? He look almost identical to Jaclav the Clown from my home country. It is funny.
Third, while I am knowing little of Philadelphia, it is called City of Brotherly Love. Management assure me that fans are loving and supportive here, a perfect environment where I will not have too much pressures on shoulder.
Fourth, in the last few week, the Flyers have cleared out nearly all of their offensive talent, clearly intending for me to be central focus of new offense. This appeal to me very greatly.
And finally, as the popular American expression goes, they “show me the money.”
No hard on feelings.
Sincerely - Jaromir
A few of you know me as former Penguins’ winger Jaromir Jagr, though vast majority of you know me as former Rangers’ winger Jaromir Jagr. If you still do not know who I am, you be seeing my jersey in rafters at Consol in the year 2073. I am writing to be expressing to you sincerest of apologies for not signing with your team.
There are many of reasons I select to be joined with the Philadelphia Flyers.
First of all, last time I was in Pittsburgh, I was second fiddle to a legend you know as Mario Lemieux. He cast big shadow and was hard for me. To come back to your team now to be second fiddle to Sidney Crosby would be okay. But to be fourth fiddle after man named Geno and another man with a woman’s name would bring shame to my family.
Second, I am made fun of frequent for my hair. As a Flyer, I would play alongside Scott Hartnell and would never again have to feel I have worst hair on team. Have you seen him? He look almost identical to Jaclav the Clown from my home country. It is funny.
Third, while I am knowing little of Philadelphia, it is called City of Brotherly Love. Management assure me that fans are loving and supportive here, a perfect environment where I will not have too much pressures on shoulder.
Fourth, in the last few week, the Flyers have cleared out nearly all of their offensive talent, clearly intending for me to be central focus of new offense. This appeal to me very greatly.
And finally, as the popular American expression goes, they “show me the money.”
No hard on feelings.
Sincerely - Jaromir