Triple Espresso of Coffee Talk

[Comeds]

Look on the bright side, comeds, at least it wasn't an oral exam.

What happens in conference room two, stays in conference room two. Pretty sure thats in the employee handbook.

I was so happy when I finished I sang and danced to this (lots of people were still taking the test and they had to start over because of this):

 

[Bloody Brian Burke]

On the one hand, I do feel bad for the decline of the autoworker.

On the other hand...

Inside the GM plant where nooses and 'whites-only' signs intimidated workers - CNN

 

[dash]

On the one hand, I do feel bad for the decline of the autoworker.

On the other hand...

Inside the GM plant where nooses and 'whites-only' signs intimidated workers - CNN

I skimmed that story earlier today - Holy Toledo!

 

[jstewismybastardson]

 

[dash]

It could take a while, hence I got the big bag...

 

[dash]

 

[jstewismybastardson]

 

[Bloody Brian Burke]

Jagmeet: "Well, the polls have us in the gutter nationally, I'm in a tough race just to grab a seat before the national election campaign, I'm running in a part of the country I have zero affiliation with, most of my party's membership hates me, I've been legitimately called out for sympathizing with terrorists and I will almost surely have to resign if I don't win this by-election. It would take a miracle of the utmost stupidity for me to get out of this one.

Trudeau: "Hold my kombucha."

Karen Wang makes tearful appeal to public: ‘I don’t deserve to be labelled as a racist’ | The Star

 

[forty_three]

On the one hand, I do feel bad for the decline of the autoworker.

On the other hand...

Inside the GM plant where nooses and 'whites-only' signs intimidated workers - CNN

The entire Ohio/Michigan rivalry is over Toledo. Both Michigan and Ohio wanted the port and it was given to Ohio and Michigan hated Ohio for it.


It's time to give it back.

 

[elocomotive]

BUZZFEED 1/18/18 UPDATE!

I have no contacts in Russia.
Okay, I have some contacts in Russia, but have no dealings there.
Okay, I have many dealings in Russia, but we never met with Russian officials during the campaign.
Okay, some of my staff met with Russian officials, but I didn't know about it.
Okay, I knew about it, but none of my staff did anything wrong.
Okay, some of my staff may have committed crimes, but I didn't do anything wrong.
Okay, so I did something wrong, but not something illegal and there was no collusion.
Okay, so there was collusion with my staff, but not with me.
Okay, so I instructed people that worked for me to lie to cover up dealings, but none of those were illegal.

Dot dot fucking dot...

 

[forty_three]

BUZZFEED 1/18/18 UPDATE!

Okay, so I instructed people that worked for me to lie to cover up dealings, but none of those were illegal.

About that last one.

 

[jstewismybastardson]

 

[elocomotive]

Dude, you lied about fucking hamburgers last week.

 

[jstewismybastardson]

Jagmeet: "Well, the polls have us in the gutter nationally, I'm in a tough race just to grab a seat before the national election campaign, I'm running in a part of the country I have zero affiliation with, most of my party's membership hates me, I've been legitimately called out for sympathizing with terrorists and I will almost surely have to resign if I don't win this by-election. It would take a miracle of the utmost stupidity for me to get out of this one.

Trudeau: "Hold my kombucha."

Karen Wang makes tearful appeal to public: ‘I don’t deserve to be labelled as a racist’ | The Star

i didnt read your link but what did Trudeau do on this one? Accepting her as a candidate to begin with i guess lol

At first I thought what she said didnt really mean anything ... but then I pictured a white person saying what she said to white voters ... "I am the only white candidate, vote for me. My competitor is Indian"

This Karen Wang is a real piece of work lol ... First she hemmed and hawed about which party she would run for ... conservatives or liberals ... then she drops out based on her comments ... then she wants back in ... then she tries to hold a press conference at the Burnaby Public Library without telling the library (which has a policy of not hosting political events) she was going to do this

the true winner in all this is the librarian who told her to get the fuck off municipal property lol ... ID VOTE FOR HER!!! lol

 

[KennyBanyeah]

Dude, you lied about fucking hamburgers last week.

 

[Darkstone42]

I think this one is my favorite so far, Kenny.

 

[Bloody Brian Burke]

i didnt read your link but what did Trudeau do on this one? Accepting her as a candidate to begin with i guess lol

At first I thought what she said didnt really mean anything ... but then I pictured a white person saying what she said to white voters ... "I am the only white candidate, vote for me. My competitor is Indian"

This Karen Wang is a real piece of work lol ... First she hemmed and hawed about which party she would run for ... conservatives or liberals ... then she drops out based on her comments ... then she wants back in ... then she tries to hold a press conference at the Burnaby Public Library without telling the library (which has a policy of not hosting political events) she was going to do this

the true winner in all this is the librarian who told her to get the fuck off municipal property lol ... ID VOTE FOR HER!!! lol

It's his candidate. It's an important race and it's a riding that is emblematic of the ones he will be in a dogfight to keep hold of in October. The things you described about her all should've been massive red flags but they ran her anyway.

 

[Comeds]

Hello, and I hope you’re having a good day. Jokes, humor, and buffoonery are great but the way they are developed, separately and with everyone using their own standards and framework, is not great. That’s why I have created a set of joke guidelines and practices for everyone to use! That way a programmer in Atlanta can make a joke that is understood and enjoyed by a taxi driver in France. I call it:

JILL – Joke Information LLibrary

For a small fee I will come to your workplace/hideout/bungalow and teach a three day course in these standards and best practices. At the end there will be a test and if you pass you will be JILL Certified!

Here’s a quick overview of the 6 step process:

Joke Strategy: Provides guidance on what type of jokes and repartee you would like to develop and will guide you through the whole joke lifecycle. Features include the Joke Pipeline (jokes not ready to deploy yet) and Retired jokes (most racial, jokes about broads, etc)

Joke Design: Provides best practice guidance on the design of jokes (never start a joke with a preposition, when to emphasize a word (“But Miss, that’s not a rabbits foot” vs “But Miss, that’s not a RABBIT’s foot” vs “Miss, that’s MY penis” ), quips, and tomfoolery. Do you want to write and release jokes yourself? Or have a roomful of minorities in a back windowless room writing them for you? If so you will need an operation level agreement.

Joke Transition: Transitioning the joke or hoodwinking from design to release. If in testing it does not work up to agreed joke levels a request for change can be made. Joke change examples include swapping out ethnicities or sexual preferences.

Joke Operation: The day to day operations of jokes and witticisms that have been released. The establishment of a Joke Service Desk where complaints and criticisms can be made (often1-800-FUC-KOFF). Joke Incident Management and Joke Event Management are part of this process.

Continual Joke Improvement: Sometimes as time goes by there can be upgrades or changes to a wisecrack that can make it better or keep you out of HR. Or you may want to tailor your jokes for southern or Appalachian audiences (replaces wife with sister etc, droppin’ all g’s) I’ll give you some real case scenarios to help guide you through long lasting hilarity.

So sign up for JILL today! We do not accept financial aid and that is no joke.

 

[KennyBanyeah]

JILL,

I'm low on jokes about broads. Can y'all send a few useful pointers on down the trolley tracks to my neck o the woods? I'm hurtin for some new material round here. Much obliged!!

Graciously (unless you're black, muslim or gay) thankin you,

Kenford Banyeah,
Moundsville, West Virginia

 

[jstewismybastardson]

It's his candidate. It's an important race and it's a riding that is emblematic of the ones he will be in a dogfight to keep hold of in October. The things you described about her all should've been massive red flags but they ran her anyway.

meh ... And the conservatives were gonna run her if she decided to go with them lol