BS Thread

[MHSL82]

When my sister has parties, she has me stop by the store and buy sodas on the way over. Ice too.

If you want to separate your drinks, you can buy those wine glass bracelets. You put them at the bottom around the neck of the glass.

So that way, if someone puts down his or her glass, he/she can remember them later by the bracelet.

I meant drinking from the bottle - to which my sister thinks is disgusting - I tell her that the untouched ones are in the main drink area and the since the majority of the time, no guests are at my house, why not? It's not like I live with her - and she doesn't drink the sodas I like.

I'll never buy ice because it's never been worth it. My refrigerator makes it. I never buy water bottles either, I have a water filter my wife bought. I like dry ice for Halloween. My dog is friendly. Yes, non-sequitor, but it's true and about as relevant to Jazz basketball as anything else we've talked about. I wonder if anyone else reads this stuff? You know, besides the government.

 

[MHSL82]

I think you've done the sentence joke before, right?

Punctuation Matters - A Dear John Letter and a Two Million Dollar Comma - The Lighter Side of Punctuation

Shhh... don't tell people I repeat unfunny jokes. All my jokes are originally bland. I was going to add this reference, but I didn't want to make this thread unnecessarily intellectual - even if 1%.

 

[MHSL82]

Not to get too political, but I almost died laughing when I saw this soccer mom being interviewed about the government's wire-tapping, saying that she was concerned about the government listening on another line. I was thinking, they're probably not wasting their time seeing whether you really are there when you tell your kids you're there to pick them up or if you are really just getting off the freeway on the way to getting there.

And, don't worry about me, I didn't die. I just learned that I shouldn't be laughing while juggling knives.

 

[nuraman00]

I meant drinking from the bottle - to which my sister thinks is disgusting - I tell her that the untouched ones are in the main drink area and the since the majority of the time, no guests are at my house, why not? It's not like I live with her - and she doesn't drink the sodas I like.

I'll never buy ice because it's never been worth it. My refrigerator makes it. I never buy water bottles either, I have a water filter my wife bought. I like dry ice for Halloween. My dog is friendly. Yes, non-sequitor, but it's true and about as relevant to Jazz basketball as anything else we've talked about. I wonder if anyone else reads this stuff? You know, besides the government.

Other vBulletin boards have a column at the bottom and tell you who's read this thread, and who has posted in this thread, and who the current active users who are browsing this thread.

What type of dog do you have?

I'll buy 500mL bottles for use when I'm coming home late from games or concerts, and I want something to drink in the car.

But other than that, I use a water filter that's attached to the kitchen faucet.

However, the filter is stuck to the faucet now, and I don't think I can remove it. I tried. This is pertinent because I'm most likely going to be moving in two months (I was going to PM you about that), and if I can't remove it, I'll have to buy another filter.

I think it's fine to drink out of the bottle, especially if you serve others something from the main drink area rather than the bottle you drank out of.

 

[nuraman00]

Not to get too political, but I almost died laughing when I saw this soccer mom being interviewed about the government's wire-tapping, saying that she was concerned about the government listening on another line. I was thinking, they're probably not wasting their time seeing whether you really are there when you tell your kids you're there to pick them up or if you are really just getting off the freeway on the way to getting there.

And, don't worry about me, I didn't die. I just learned that I shouldn't be laughing while juggling knives.

In 4th grade, we learned how to juggle at school. It was mostly scarves.

I was showing off at home to some older cousins (in his late 20s or early 30s). He asked me what else I learned to juggle, such as knives? I said "bazookas".

That joke didn't go over to well, there was an awkward silence.

(His wife asked what a bazooka was, and he explained.)

I think that was the same day we were playing a card game that the cousin was teaching us, called "mess with your neighbor".

It sounded similar to another game I had just learned, so I chimed in "Oh! This looks like another game I just learned, but that one was called 'Screw Your Neighbor'".

Another awkward silence, and he explained that he was using a cleaned up version of the name.

(I think this game is also known as B.S.)

 

[MHSL82]

Other vBulletin boards have a column at the bottom and tell you who's read this thread, and who has posted in this thread, and who the current active users who are browsing this thread.

What type of dog do you have?

I'll buy 500mL bottles for use when I'm coming home late from games or concerts, and I want something to drink in the car.

But other than that, I use a water filter that's attached to the kitchen faucet.

However, the filter is stuck to the faucet now, and I don't think I can remove it. I tried. This is pertinent because I'm most likely going to be moving in two months (I was going to PM you about that), and if I can't remove it, I'll have to buy another filter.

I think it's fine to drink out of the bottle, especially if you serve others something from the main drink area rather than the bottle you drank out of.

I think you mean "only," not especially. I have an almost seven year old golden retriever. Tip - if you want a dog and have a fiancé/girlfriend, get the dog once you know you are getting married or are married (after honeymoon, if close in time) - then, have baby. If you have baby first, you'll think of reasons ranging from safety of the baby and time to take care of both puppy and baby to not to get the dog.

You don't need to tell me where, especially not here, but are you moving far?

 

[MHSL82]

In 4th grade, we learned how to juggle at school. It was mostly scarves.

I was showing off at home to some older cousins (in his late 20s or early 30s). He asked me what else I learned to juggle, such as knives? I said "bazookas".

That joke didn't go over to well, there was an awkward silence.

(His wife asked what a bazooka was, and he explained.)

I think that was the same day we were playing a card game that the cousin was teaching us, called "mess with your neighbor".

It sounded similar to another game I had just learned, so I chimed in "Oh! This looks like another game I just learned, but that one was called 'Screw Your neighbor'".

Another awkward silence, and he explained that he was using a cleaned up version of the name.

(I think this game is also known as B.S.)

I think you should merge the games into "Screw your messed up neighbor." With B.S.? How the hell do you juggle scarves? I imagine, unless in ball shapes, that they'd lag so much that it'd be easy - or am I missing something?

 

[nuraman00]

I think you mean "only," not especially. I have an almost seven year old golden retriever. Tip - if you want a dog and have a fiancé/girlfriend, get the dog once you know you are getting married or are married (after honeymoon, if close in time) - then, have baby. If you have baby first, you'll think of reasons ranging from safety of the baby and time to take care of both puppy and baby to not to get the dog.

You don't need to tell me where, especially not here, but are you moving far?

I like pets in general. (I can't say I like them all, because just like with people, there will always be some pets that don't like you or you don't like them.)

But I don't think I'm up for taking care of a pet every day, like a cat or dog.

No, just moving somewhere else in the Bay Area, probably closer to work, but it depends on where the best deal is.

I've been at my current place for 3 years, and it's always been a great deal, especially for what my criteria was, but now I might have to expand my criteria to find a better deal. The renewal offer was just too much, and from doing a search online, this whole area seems to have gone up in rent (surrounding complexes too).

The benefit will probably be that I'll be closer to work. And depending on where I move, I might not have to pay the toll to cross the bridge everyday. But that could also change too. While I've been with my current employer for 5+ years, what if I find a new one within a few months?

Also, the other side of the bay doesn't have BART (subway). They have another train though as public transportation, so I'll have to get used to another system if I want to use it to get to SF without driving.

 

[nuraman00]

I think you should merge the games into "Screw your messed up neighbor." With B.S.?

LOL.

How the hell do you juggle scarves? I imagine, unless in ball shapes, that they'd lag so much that it'd be easy - or am I missing something?

No, you're not missing anything.

Yes, they lag so much that it's easy. However, when you get to 4-5 scarves at a time, that's still a decent amount of items to keep track of.

 

[MHSL82]

I like pets in general. (I can't say I like them all, because just like with people, there will always be some pets that don't like you or you don't like them.)

But I don't think I'm up for taking care of a pet every day, like a cat or dog.

No, just moving somewhere else in the Bay Area, probably closer to work, but it depends on where the best deal is.

I've been at my current place for 3 years, and it's always been a great deal, especially for what my criteria was, but now I might have to expand my criteria to find a better deal. The renewal offer was just too much, and from doing a search online, this whole area seems to have gone up in rent (surrounding complexes too).

The benefit will probably be that I'll be closer to work. And depending on where I move, I might not have to pay the toll to cross the bridge everyday. But that could also change too. While I've been with my current employer for 5+ years, what if I find a new one within a few months?

Also, the other side of the bay doesn't have BART (subway). They have another train though as public transportation, so I'll have to get used to another system if I want to use it to get to SF without driving.

You don't have to take care of a cat, just get out of their way. If you don't feed them, they'll find something. I live in a house right now, so I don't think I'll be doing any moving for awhile. Hope you are enjoying work. I'm going to go to sleep now, good luck on finding a place in the next two months.

 

[nuraman00]

You don't have to take care of a cat, just get out of their way. If you don't feed them, they'll find something. I live in a house right now, so I don't think I'll be doing any moving for awhile. Hope you are enjoying work. I'm going to go to sleep now, good luck on finding a place in the next two months.

Good night, nice chatting with you.

The cats might drag in dead mice, and drop it on your floor, as if they're proud.

 

[MHSL82]

OT: my humor is a bit strange but I am, for my own good, too hesitant to actually use it in real instances. For example, I think it'd be funny if the right actor (this is important) would respond to questions posed to other people as if it was spoken to him. Like when two people are on the bus and the first person asks the second person, who is obviously a friend, whether he wanted to go to lunch, and a third person obviously not in the conversation either accepts or tells the first person that he's busy - or say, well, I hardly know you. Then, later on, do the same thing to a different question posed, same people.

I know that's not funny, but it is to me, if it happened in real life by a funny person (not me), not in a SNL skit. That would be lame. I think awkward humor is funny.

In football, I wish I were a QB for the opening series of a game, without the possibility of being benched. On the first play of the game, I would spike the ball to stop the clock. It would be the dumbest thing in the world to do (because the clock isn't even running before the first play). Then, on the second play, kneel as they do when they are finishing a game. Then, if I were still in the game, I would run horizontally and backwards a bit out of bounds - again, to stop the clock - and this would be after using the entire play clock before the snap.

 

[MHSL82]

Annoying. I got the "everyday I'm hustling" song stuck in my head, but instead of those words, it was "everyday I'm shoveling" while I was shoveling my driveway. I started to think how that song is convenient for a lot of things. Everyday, I'm struggling. Everyday, I'm whistling. And then it came to mind how unsuccessful, "every so often, I'm working hard" would have been. Good thing they changed it.

 

[nuraman00]

OT: my humor is a bit strange but I am, for my own good, too hesitant to actually use it in real instances. For example, I think it'd be funny if the right actor (this is important) would respond to questions posed to other people as if it was spoken to him. Like when two people are on the bus and the first person asks the second person, who is obviously a friend, whether he wanted to go to lunch, and a third person obviously not in the conversation either accepts or tells the first person that he's busy - or say, well, I hardly know you. Then, later on, do the same thing to a different question posed, same people.

That's funny, haha. I agree.

In football, I wish I were a QB for the opening series of a game, without the possibility of being benched. On the first play of the game, I would spike the ball to stop the clock. It would be the dumbest thing in the world to do (because the clock isn't even running before the first play). Then, on the second play, kneel as they do when they are finishing a game. Then, if I were still in the game, I would run horizontally and backwards a bit out of bounds - again, to stop the clock - and this would be after using the entire play clock before the snap.

That's funny, haha.

 

[nuraman00]

Annoying. I got the "everyday I'm hustling" song stuck in my head, but instead of those words, it was "everyday I'm shoveling" while I was shoveling my driveway. I started to think how that song is convenient for a lot of things. Everyday, I'm struggling. Everyday, I'm whistling. And then it came to mind how unsuccessful, "every so often, I'm working hard" would have been. Good thing they changed it.

Never heard of it before.

 

[MHSL82]

I think the Santa Clause is Coming to Town song is a bit illogical as well as creepy. It says he's checking the list he made twice to see who's naughty or nice and that's he's watching you all the time, "so be good for goodness sake." It should be, "so be good for presents sake." Or get a injunction or restraining order from the court. If you value your autonomy and privacy, you'll forego the gadget you want and buy it yourself.

 

[MHSL82]

Oh, and the moral of Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer is that if you do not have some unique physical feature, you are unneeded and useless - because the perfectly respectable Comet is just another reindeer. I'd have to check to see if saying "all of the other reindeer" indeed meant all or just an exaggeration. Or if it means, "Olive, the other reindeer", in which Olive is a prick who doesn't even deserve to be mentioned. Maybe Comet was nice to him, but yet gets just a passing mention in history as another reindeer despite working just as hard every Christmas as the mutant reindeer.

 

[MHSL82]

Just like how in the Ugly Duckling, it isn't a good story that someone ugly feels beautiful or worthy but rather that someone ugly turns out to be good looking after all, now that we know he's not a duck.

 

[MHSL82]

Also, "All I Want for Christmas is You" sounds nice, but that's an awful lot to give someone for Christmas. Because then you not only get that person, you get their thoughts, gifts, and everything else. I find it easier to give someone a book or DVD for Christmas. Saying that you don't need all these little things, but just want something big is like me saying that all I want for Christmas is a million dollars. I don't want a television, a computer, a smartphone, season tickets to the Jazz games, new printer, etc. All I want is a million dollars. The singer would agree that the "you" in the song was worth a million bucks, right?

 

[nuraman00]

I think the Santa Clause is Coming to Town song is a bit illogical as well as creepy. It says he's checking the list he made twice to see who's naughty or nice and that's he's watching you all the time, "so be good for goodness sake." It should be, "so be good for presents sake." Or get a injunction or restraining order from the court. If you value your autonomy and privacy, you'll forego the gadget you want and buy it yourself.

I agree.