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Comeds
Unreliable Narrator.
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Boldly. Devotedly. Dramatically. Victoriously. All adjectives.
All adjectives that could describe the horses and jockeys that will participate in one of the 30 most exciting events in sports (top 5 if you are a horse (if you are a horse and are reading this – Hey buddy!)).
a horse
As I walk through Old Hilltop taking in the sights, sounds, and smells (seriously what is that, give that horse a Tums) I cannot help but think of all the historical events that happened here. Triple crown winners. Close races. Photo finishes. Drama! Remember in ’67 when two out of the top three horses raised their hooves in a horse-power salute? Or in 1982 when Gerald McRaney and Jameson Parker from TV’s Simon And Simon got in a drunken fist fight in the grandstand? Delta Burke kicked both their asses! Or in 1995 when Joe Theismann was caught on mic saying he’d rather f*ck one of the horses than Cathy Lee Crosby. Good times.
This year should be an exciting year, the buildup around town has been tangible. When I was being robbed this morning the robber said he would give me a furlong head start in honor of the Preakness. When he caught me we laughed when he showed me he had just a starter pistol, not a real firearm. Yes, the city is abuzz.
Tomorrow the festivities start with Black-Eyed Susan Day. This is not a celebration of domestic violence (not since 1974) but instead a celebration of the Maryland State Flower. And a special drink! The stands will be filled with socialites, politicians, their Guatemalan servants, and their pets.
So the big question is who will win? The current favorites are:
Always Dreaming 4/5
Classic Empire 3/1
Trump Impeachment 7/1
The ORM© picks Always Dreaming to win easily ahead of a still boozy from the night before Cloud Computing. My expert pick is Looking At Lee ahead of Always Dreaming. I spoke with Looking At Lee a bit ago and he seems really determined. He also thinks CBS using a new Star Trek show to launch their new CBS All Access network is really stupid.
Hmm, it appears I am being followed. I wonder if we are not supposed to be allowed to wander unattended throughout Pimlico two days before it’s only event of note takes place. Hopefully, if I escape, I will return with more news and analysis from this big event. Maybe even human interest stories!
Feet don’t fail me now!
(edit - title was supposed to be 'running of')
All adjectives that could describe the horses and jockeys that will participate in one of the 30 most exciting events in sports (top 5 if you are a horse (if you are a horse and are reading this – Hey buddy!)).
a horse
As I walk through Old Hilltop taking in the sights, sounds, and smells (seriously what is that, give that horse a Tums) I cannot help but think of all the historical events that happened here. Triple crown winners. Close races. Photo finishes. Drama! Remember in ’67 when two out of the top three horses raised their hooves in a horse-power salute? Or in 1982 when Gerald McRaney and Jameson Parker from TV’s Simon And Simon got in a drunken fist fight in the grandstand? Delta Burke kicked both their asses! Or in 1995 when Joe Theismann was caught on mic saying he’d rather f*ck one of the horses than Cathy Lee Crosby. Good times.
This year should be an exciting year, the buildup around town has been tangible. When I was being robbed this morning the robber said he would give me a furlong head start in honor of the Preakness. When he caught me we laughed when he showed me he had just a starter pistol, not a real firearm. Yes, the city is abuzz.
Tomorrow the festivities start with Black-Eyed Susan Day. This is not a celebration of domestic violence (not since 1974) but instead a celebration of the Maryland State Flower. And a special drink! The stands will be filled with socialites, politicians, their Guatemalan servants, and their pets.
So the big question is who will win? The current favorites are:
Always Dreaming 4/5
Classic Empire 3/1
Trump Impeachment 7/1
The ORM© picks Always Dreaming to win easily ahead of a still boozy from the night before Cloud Computing. My expert pick is Looking At Lee ahead of Always Dreaming. I spoke with Looking At Lee a bit ago and he seems really determined. He also thinks CBS using a new Star Trek show to launch their new CBS All Access network is really stupid.
Hmm, it appears I am being followed. I wonder if we are not supposed to be allowed to wander unattended throughout Pimlico two days before it’s only event of note takes place. Hopefully, if I escape, I will return with more news and analysis from this big event. Maybe even human interest stories!
Feet don’t fail me now!
(edit - title was supposed to be 'running of')
