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tzill
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via Grant at McCovey Chronicles...
When the Giants sacrificed a unicorn to get the magic inside -- even though they had the right permits and everything -- the Padres tattled to the Forest Master, who enchanted the bats of both teams, and now the Padres are destined to get all the singles they need, and the Giants can only hit it to various Hairstons sprinkled around the field while the Forest Master laughs at our misery, for we should not have sacrificed the unicorn for selfish purposes, even though, truth be told, it was kind of an annoying unicorn as far as unicorns go, always asking the Forest Master for loans and such, but that’s not the point, and the Forest Master is kind of a petty jerk who went to boarding school with a couple of the Baseball Gods, so we’re doubly hosed, and even though Sabean knows how the curse is broken -- ...of outfielders and only outfielders shall thy team be made -- we’re running out of time.
It makes as much sense as any other explanation of the Padres, so I’m sticking with it.
This weekend, Will Clark will pass Matt Williams in a hallway. Williams will say something like, "Hey! Will! How’s it going, buddy?" Clark will quietly approach Williams, then put a single, accusing finger in Williams’s face. "Go back to your outfield swimming pool, bald Judas," Clark will say. And then he’ll kill another unicorn just because the Forest Master isn’t the boss of Will Clark.
When the Giants sacrificed a unicorn to get the magic inside -- even though they had the right permits and everything -- the Padres tattled to the Forest Master, who enchanted the bats of both teams, and now the Padres are destined to get all the singles they need, and the Giants can only hit it to various Hairstons sprinkled around the field while the Forest Master laughs at our misery, for we should not have sacrificed the unicorn for selfish purposes, even though, truth be told, it was kind of an annoying unicorn as far as unicorns go, always asking the Forest Master for loans and such, but that’s not the point, and the Forest Master is kind of a petty jerk who went to boarding school with a couple of the Baseball Gods, so we’re doubly hosed, and even though Sabean knows how the curse is broken -- ...of outfielders and only outfielders shall thy team be made -- we’re running out of time.
It makes as much sense as any other explanation of the Padres, so I’m sticking with it.
This weekend, Will Clark will pass Matt Williams in a hallway. Williams will say something like, "Hey! Will! How’s it going, buddy?" Clark will quietly approach Williams, then put a single, accusing finger in Williams’s face. "Go back to your outfield swimming pool, bald Judas," Clark will say. And then he’ll kill another unicorn just because the Forest Master isn’t the boss of Will Clark.
