OT: Coming Soon!

[mattola]

After watching TMNT, I can totally understand why it got a 20% on Rotten Tomatoes.

If you ever wanted to know what it's like to watch an abortion of your childhood, I suggest you watch it.

So many things wrong with it, I don't even know where to start?

and sadly it still made $100M in 4 days

is it possible for you to give a short list of what was different? I think they are aliens right instead of mutants?

 

[IPostedWhat]

is it possible for you to give a short list of what was different? I think they are aliens right instead of mutants?

It would have been a better movie if they said the Turtles were aliens, who came to Earth to escape water, and create a super army of dogs that shoot bees out of their mouths.

Scroll over if you want to read a "few" of the things I found horribly wrong with the movie. It's not like I'm spoiling anything for anyone;more like saving them from having to watch such a atrocity of cinegraphic proportions.



- April is a reporter who can't catch a break at her news station, and does all the "fluff" segments, even though she's hot as fuck.

- Whoopie fucking Goldberg is her boss. Enough said!

- You get a few brief seconds of her co-workers, who have no value in the movie, other than to laugh at April and taunt her.

- The guy that drives the news van is pointless in the movie. He's only there for comedic effect, and it is terrible.

- Obvious who the bad guy is (other than Shredder) from the get-go.

- Oh, April's father was a scientist resposible for the Turtles and Splinter in the first place, and the intention was something completely different entirely? You don't say?

- Oh, the bad guy worked with her father and killed him in order to use the serum to spread terror and gain shit loads of money, but eneded up with nothing because the lab burned down?

- Somehow the bad guy can't recreate the serum because April's Father is dead, even though he worked closley with him for years. Some fucking scientist he is.

- Bad guy goes from scientist to billionaire by becomming a Security Industry mogul, and vows to take down Shreder and foot clan, even though he is secretly working for them. Makes sense.

- Someway, somehow, April manages to stumble into situations that lead her to discovering the Turtles exist, when no one else even knows about them, BECAUSE THEY ARE NINJAS!!!!!

- April tries to prove that they exist, but everone looks at her crazy.

- What's that you say? The Foot are taking hostages in the Subway, and April just happens to be right there, at the exact same time, in a giant City like NYC!!!!....What are the fucking odds, right?

- Turtles save hostages and take off to the rooftop of a nearby building, because it would be harder to get access to the sewers from the Subway.

- Somehow April is the only one who knows where they went and discovers them.

- The Turtles get her name and info, but they don't piece together that she saved them from the fire in the lab years ago. They were her pets.

- April suddenly remembers that her father was working on an experiment with 4 Turtles and a Rat when she was a girl, and they were her pets. I don't know how you can actually fucking forget something like that? She finds a box in her closet with videos and documents of what her Dad was doing in the lab. You know, with the other not important shit that doesn't seem out of place or interesting.

- Splinter takes the Turtles into the sewers after April saved them from the fire. From there, he finds a Ninja book, and somehow teaches himself how to become a master ninja in just 31 days...CALL NOW!!!!!

- Splinter and the Turtles never leave the sewers, yet somehow they end up with weapons and a ton of electronics and equipment in their "man cave." How? Where did they get them and with what money? The only logical explanation since Splinter doesn't let them leave the sewers, is that Splinter is a master thief.

- And how do they order and buy pizza? HOW!!!!!!! Oh right, Splinter is a master thief, that's how.

- Splinter finds out the Turtles saw April and demand they find her and bring her to the sewers. He thought she died in the fire, even though he remembers that she saved them and escaped the building with them.

- Somehow Splinter has a perfect memory of April saving them, and that the bad guy killed her father. He even can remember the conversation they had. Not bad for a rat in a cage, right? But somehow the Turtles are clueless to all of this, even though they were in the same room with him, and on the same drugs. So rats smart, turtles dumb I guess?

- At no point in time does Splinter tell the Tutles about their life before the sewers, and that April saved them. Instead, he tells them they they are protected by a ghost.

- Bullets can't penetrate the shells, so the Turtles turn their backs on the Foot when they shoot at them, even though not once, a bullet hits their exposed legs, arms, and head.

- Raphael later on turns around, and bullets bounce off his chest, once again missing his exposed areas not covered by a shell.

- The Foot then use tranquilzer darts because Shredder wants the serum in their blood. Somehow the tranqs are going to be effective after bullets had no effect on them?


And that's just the tip of the iceberg.

If you want more examples, just let me know.

 

[jstewismybastardson]

Im gonna keep watching leftovers because there could be more nora durst (carrie coon) tittay scenes

 

[mattola]

yeah sounds about Michael bay as you can get

 

[IPostedWhat]

yeah sounds about Michael bay as you can get

Here's one thing (of many) that I want to know...

The Project involving the Turtles was called "Project Renaissance" and that's how they ended up getting their names. With that said, how does that involve a rat named "Splinter"?

Seriously????...and that's just one example of countless, that doesn't make any sense, and is unaswered in the movie.

His attempt to rewrite their origin and create new characters left more questions than answers. But hey, you get to see retarded looking mutant turtles fight crime, while holding down your food looking at Splinter talk in the movie.

 

[IPostedWhat]

And why is the actor who plays Splinter not the same actor who voices him?

I mean really, this is not your typically James Earl Jone/Darth Vader situation we are talking about.


This is the actor that plays Splinter:

And this is the voice they thought somehow made more sense to use:

I mean really, think about it.....How does Shalhoub make a more convincing voice for a mutated cult leader rat, who is a self taught master of ninjitsu?

See how ridiculous that sounds?

 

[mattola]

Thx. I'm out for this movie

 

[IPostedWhat]

Thx. I'm out for this movie

No, I want you to watch it and experience the pain, sadness, and anger I now feel, as Michael Bay once again, successfully crushed, and killed my childhood, right in front of eyes.

I want you to know!!!!!!!

 

[IPostedWhat]

Any other recent movies out that people want to see that I can tell you why I hated it?

 

[elocomotive]

Any other recent movies out that people want to see that I can tell you why I hated it?

I rented Divergent. Is it going to suck?

 

[IPostedWhat]

I rented Divergent. Is it going to suck?

Are you sitting down?

 

[elocomotive]

Are you sitting down?

Yes, on a toilet just in case...

 

[IPostedWhat]

Yes, on a toilet just in case...

Good.....just open the case to the dvd, take the movie out, and put it directly into the toilet.


Aside from the poor condition of this video, Joe Swanson sums up how I felt after watching it:

 

[elocomotive]

Good.....just open the case to the dvd, take the movie out, and put it directly into the toilet.

Lol.

 

[mattola]

No, I want you to watch it and experience the pain, sadness, and anger I now feel, as Michael Bay once again, successfully crushed, and killed my childhood, right in front of eyes.

I want you to know!!!!!!!

Well I guess it's only fair. But I taint fucking paying for it

 

[mattola]

I rented Divergent. Is it going to suck?

This is the one with the chick with the bow right?

 

[elocomotive]

This is the one with the chick with the bow right?

I think you're thinking of Harry Potter.

 

[Comeds]

I think you're thinking of Harry Potter.

I think he means Nancy.

 

[puckhead]

anyone else see 'Alive Inside'?
fucking powerful movie.

 

[SLY]

Probably going to go catch Sin City: A Dame to Kill For tomorrow. Me and my lady can drool over Jessica Alba.