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Help Me Sort This Out

NEhomer

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So this happened and I'm not sure what to think.

I met a fellow a few years back who had just moved here to Western, MA from Long Island NY. We visit with our wives, see music together, have beers and play golf. Nice guy and we became friends. I'm 64, he's 62.

This is my 8th year at a nice private club. It's been awesome and it's truly a whole different world than the muni scene. I've invited him to play a bunch of times and this guy is the first and only person I've sponsored to petition for a membership which we did three years ago. After being denied the first two years, I extended myself this year by contacting a membership committee member whom I've known for years to inquire about his status. Not sure if that was appropriate but he got back to me and said they that were going to forward his name.

He got in! Cool, I was so psyched and so was he. Saves me guest fees! I looked forward to introducing him to the place.

Then, this....a couple of days later he texted me to tell me that he's now going to defer his application until next year. Our club membership has two initiation fees. One for locals who've established residency for 5+ years and one for applicants from 60+ miles away. Seems that my buddy's at 4 years, 10 months so he's balking at paying the non local initiation fee and wants to toss his hat back in the ring for next year.

I'm torn a bit here. The local fee is $2000 while the non is $13,000. Sure, a difference of $11,000 is not insignificant except for the facts that:

1) He would have paid it if he had gotten in previously so what's the difference in the long run?

2) Dude makes bank. He's a lawyer from Long Island who's retiring this year, they live in a very nice expensive home and they travel all the time. This is not break the back cash for this guy. My club is very hard to get into if you're not local and connected. Not sure where he'll be on the list once again.

2) I extended myself on his behalf and now I'm wondering what my long time friend on the board is thinking. How common do folks try to dodge the initiation fee. This is my 8th year so I'm starting to relax but my club status is always a concern.

3) Paying the full fee would automatically elevate his initial status to the club.

We're having dinner, just the two of us, on Tuesday so I'm sure we'll talk about it. Not sure what to say except that I'll have to reveal my disappointment.

Is he being cheap or am I being selfish here?
 

fknhippie

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In the grand scheme of things, it's not worth losing a friend over.

Just tell him you're sorry he won't be joining this year. Whether you step forward to try and get him in next year, it's up to you.

And remember, just because he lives in a nice house and travels, doesn't mean he's not drowning in dept.
 

NEhomer

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Oh sure but a CC membership is an extravagance. So are frequent vacations and hiring fairly popular bands to play private parties at your residence. Dude drops cash regularly. This isn't a case of can't afford it but one of choosing not to.

His application will simply ride as I wouldn't retract my endorsement even if I could but can you see my concern about bringing forward and advocating directly with the membership board for someone who then balks?

It's weird.
 

broncosmitty

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Have you had steamy sex with him?


If so, that’s cool. But don’t answer me honestly. Cuz we’re not there right now.
 
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