Free 382

[Cedrique]

Or at least commute the sentence. The Phillies have obviously refused to play in his absence. I'm still not sure why pretending to be a fictional character who has lung cancer would be considered offensive even to a real person who has lung cancer.

 

[Cedrique]

I take this all back- they were 5-2 in your absence.

 

[Omar 382]

Hey the Yankees have done alright in Ruth's absence. But they'd take him back in a heartbeat if he returned from the dead somehow

 

[Cedrique]

Actually I was wondering if they would forget to reinstate you after a week and it would turn into a death penalty type of ban. I had already written your eulogy if that turned out to be the case. I guess I'll just save it for when you inevitably get the lifetime ban.

 

[Cedrique]

Ah, what the hell. The time to pay tribute to someone is while they are still around. And maybe you really did change your ways and will never get the death penalty ban. So here goes:

He lied about his cancer, and selling Crystal Meth
Who would have thought that it would lead to his untimely death.
He said I was a moron; he said my mom did ****
He tried to fight Progeria one cold February morn.
He called us "fucken faggots"; he said we all were gay
He hated Jackie Robinson, what more is there to say.
Here lies Walter White/Phillies382, the best damn poster a third tier message board could ever hope to have.

 

[Omar 382]

The song was beautiful but throw in a line about me doing blow with Caligula and Derek Lowe's hookers. We all know that's how I'm going to go

 

[Omar 382]

Everyone was distraught when they found out the cancer was a hoax
Too bad he really did die when Lowe got a bad batch of coke

 

[jvett77]

Everyone was distraught when they found out the cancer was a hoax
Too bad he really did die when Lowe got a bad batch of coke

There must be something else you can die of - soon.

 

[Omar 382]

I never thought I'd die alone
I laugh the loudest- who'd have known


I rarely conquered never came
16 just held such better days


You'll be sorry when I'm gone

 

[Cedrique]

The song was beautiful but throw in a line about me doing blow with Caligula and Derek Lowe's hookers. We all know that's how I'm going to go

But there will always be speculation that Caligula possibly spiked the blow after enduring several hours of you ribbing him about being wrong about Tanaka's contract.