Dez Bryants helper monkey doesn't sit well with PETA (People for the Eating of Tasty Animals)

[sonnyblack65]

View attachment 47383

That reminds me of Rodgers running last night with Ware and Miller on his back, with Talib,Harris Jr and Ward chasing him

 

[Rock Strongo]

Now it is true that in their child-like years, monkeys are cute, cuddly and intelligent tricksters = little elves that are very dependent on you, their surrogate parent. This goes for the smallest of marmosets to the largest of the apes – the first 6-14 months are messy but delightful.

However, this honeymoon always ends. It ends sooner for small breeds of monkey than larger one, but when it is over, the reality check always begins. That is when your monkey undergoes a Jekyll & Hyde personality change - that is what it will seem like to you. That is when most monkey owner decide their pet is just acting bad and needs some tough love and discipline. What is really happening is that your cute little surrogate child is becoming what God intended it to become – a monkey.

It will become destructive out of frustration and the realization that the life it is living is not the life it was designed for. It will become bored and upset because it does not have the space, monkey-to-monkey interactions and activities to keep it occupied.

Here Are Some Of The Things That Will Begin To Happen:

It will bite you and fly into rages when insignificant things happen that it does not like or for no apparent reason at all.

It will begin to act psychotic, hugging itself, rocking, sucking its fingers and pace its cage. It will chatter a lot and “smile”. Monkeys do not smile because they are happy; they smile when they are anxious or frightened.

It will become more and more demanding and possessive of your time and attention.

It may remain loving with you, but fly into a jealous rage with other members of your family.

When you leave the monkey unattended, it will become destructive. So you will have to stay homebound most of the time. Your friends will see less of you, and your life and activities will begin to center around the monkey. Some of your friends and family will accept this – but a lot of them wont.

The majority of your neighbors will consider you quirky, eccentric and a blight on the neighborhood. By now you are probably so attached to the monkey that you consider moving way out into the country.

County, state and federal officials will begin to visit your home and order you around. They will send you letters; want lots of permits, licenses and paperwork. You will be seeing a lot of them and getting to know them well.

Your local veterinarians will want nothing to do with monkeys when you need their help. You will have to travel miles to find one and you will not find them particularly helpful.

Your health will suffer and you will age considerably over the 30 or so years that your monkey lives with you. Your life will be much like that of the parents of a special needs child - one in a strong adult body with an imperfect mind. But your pet monkey will not be able to return love in the way that special needs children do.

As you learn more about monkeys, you learn that the ones you see on television and out in public are all juveniles, borrowed from the zoo or animal farms, and returned when they become unmanageable, and replaced with new cute infants in a never-ending cycle. When the old ones become too unmanageable and dangerous, they are simply warehoused, destroyed or turned into breeders of more infants.

Mature monkeys are destructive, messy, and possessive. They possess all the basic emotions of human beings, but without the inhibitions we have. Because of this, they can be quite dangerous to you, other family members and guests. After you or friends have been repeatedly bitten, you will find a vet in some distant location who is willing to pull out your monkey’s teeth. You will have this done because other monkey owners have told you monkeys do just fine without teeth. When the monkey then begins to claw you, you may have its fingernails removed as well. When the monkey still “misbehaves” you will have it castrated.

More Bad News:

The yearly veterinarian checkups need to include tuberculosis testing, possibly viral testing, vaccinations and blood examinations. They will cost plenty. Monkeys have been know to carry diseases that can transfer to you and your family and the veterinarian will want to check for these. When it bites a neighbor or strangers, you will need to hire a lawyer as well. When your home insurance company finds out you have a monkey, you will loose your coverage or your premiums will go up.

Your monkey will like junk food more than nutritious food and it is smart enough to know the difference. It will eat all the bad stuff you will give it and may go on to develop diabetes requiring daily insulin injections. (refs) 1 2 and 3

Most of its teeth will eventually be extracted to prevent injury to you or to others. The fragile bones of its jaws will be damaged and the monkeys tongue will hang out of its mouth at a bizarre angle.

Neutering the monkey did not change its disposition. It’s still acting like a cranky old man.

You are told by the USDA and State officials that you need a bigger cage and lots of other major modification. They also tell you you will need to start keep daily paperwork and logbooks for them to inspect. Building proper caging is challenging. The cage will be expensive and bulky. Monkeys are masters at escape and the cost of an acceptable , home made, government-approved, indoor-outdoor cages for a medium size primate is many hundreds or thousands of dollars. The City tells you that you need a building permit and enforces setback requirements. You may need an OK from your City Health Department as well ( they view pet monkeys and apes as a disaster in the making ).

its a fairly simple concept.

 

[jarntt]

Well, because the overwhelming majority of times they aren't taken care of properly. They're not evolved and bred to be house pets like dogs and the domestic cat. They're wild animals with wild instincts. That fucker will gouge your eyes out if it gets the chance. And do;t even get me started on those private zoo idiots or "collectors." It's odd. I'm not an activist or a PETA guy or anything of the sort, but people shouldn't own monkey's. It's wrong. It should be in nature where whoever intended. It serves no purpose as a pet.

yeah, but they're so cute...
"Haven't you always wanted a monkey?": Barenaked Ladies

 

[jarntt]

According to the infallible Wells report Dez Bryant's monkey's mother had photo's of Brady deflating footballs so Kraft had his mother killed. That's when Bryant stepped in to adopt the monkey orphan. INFALLIBLE!

So Dez is a good guy after all...unlike that monkey killing Kraft...

 

[dkmightyhammer]

So Dez is a good guy after all...unlike that monkey killing Kraft...

That's what I'm saying.

 

[HammerDown]

One of my old school buddies had a monkey and believe me, you do not want one. They are messy, stink to high heaven and are more of liability than pit bulls with respect to causing personal injury

The only good thing about that fucker was when we got it stoned

Plus they live too damn long.

 

[Caliskinsfan]

 

[Manster7588]

I think the guy is defending the monkey as a pet issue because a player on the team he roots for owns said monkey.

It's a weird stance.

I don't care what team the guy is on, if he takes care of the animal I don't give a fuck, what kind of pet he has. Tyson had a pet tiger, I didn't care.

 

[kramer1]

I don't care what team the guy is on, if he takes care of the animal I don't give a fuck, what kind of pet he has. Tyson had a pet tiger, I didn't care.

The Mike Tyson precedent. Yeah, use that in a court of public opinion. See how that works out for ya.

Get real, dude

 

[Manster7588]

The Mike Tyson precedent. Yeah, use that in a court of public opinion. See how that works out for ya.

Get real, dude

OK, I make it simple for you. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK, WHAT KIND OF PET PEOPLE KEEP, as long as they treat it with love. I just don't care. Whould I have a monkey or tiger no, but I don't care what kind of animal others keep.

 

[Rock Strongo]

 

[kramer1]

OK, I make it simple for you. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK, WHAT KIND OF PET PEOPLE KEEP, as long as they treat it with love. I just don't care. Whould I have a monkey or tiger no, but I don't care what kind of animal others keep.

It's cruel. That's why people should care.

 

[Money]

Now it is true that in their child-like years, monkeys are cute, cuddly and intelligent tricksters = little elves that are very dependent on you, their surrogate parent. This goes for the smallest of marmosets to the largest of the apes – the first 6-14 months are messy but delightful.

However, this honeymoon always ends. It ends sooner for small breeds of monkey than larger one, but when it is over, the reality check always begins. That is when your monkey undergoes a Jekyll & Hyde personality change - that is what it will seem like to you. That is when most monkey owner decide their pet is just acting bad and needs some tough love and discipline. What is really happening is that your cute little surrogate child is becoming what God intended it to become – a monkey.

It will become destructive out of frustration and the realization that the life it is living is not the life it was designed for. It will become bored and upset because it does not have the space, monkey-to-monkey interactions and activities to keep it occupied.

Here Are Some Of The Things That Will Begin To Happen:

It will bite you and fly into rages when insignificant things happen that it does not like or for no apparent reason at all.

It will begin to act psychotic, hugging itself, rocking, sucking its fingers and pace its cage. It will chatter a lot and “smile”. Monkeys do not smile because they are happy; they smile when they are anxious or frightened.

It will become more and more demanding and possessive of your time and attention.

It may remain loving with you, but fly into a jealous rage with other members of your family.

When you leave the monkey unattended, it will become destructive. So you will have to stay homebound most of the time. Your friends will see less of you, and your life and activities will begin to center around the monkey. Some of your friends and family will accept this – but a lot of them wont.

The majority of your neighbors will consider you quirky, eccentric and a blight on the neighborhood. By now you are probably so attached to the monkey that you consider moving way out into the country.

County, state and federal officials will begin to visit your home and order you around. They will send you letters; want lots of permits, licenses and paperwork. You will be seeing a lot of them and getting to know them well.

Your local veterinarians will want nothing to do with monkeys when you need their help. You will have to travel miles to find one and you will not find them particularly helpful.

Your health will suffer and you will age considerably over the 30 or so years that your monkey lives with you. Your life will be much like that of the parents of a special needs child - one in a strong adult body with an imperfect mind. But your pet monkey will not be able to return love in the way that special needs children do.

As you learn more about monkeys, you learn that the ones you see on television and out in public are all juveniles, borrowed from the zoo or animal farms, and returned when they become unmanageable, and replaced with new cute infants in a never-ending cycle. When the old ones become too unmanageable and dangerous, they are simply warehoused, destroyed or turned into breeders of more infants.

Mature monkeys are destructive, messy, and possessive. They possess all the basic emotions of human beings, but without the inhibitions we have. Because of this, they can be quite dangerous to you, other family members and guests. After you or friends have been repeatedly bitten, you will find a vet in some distant location who is willing to pull out your monkey’s teeth. You will have this done because other monkey owners have told you monkeys do just fine without teeth. When the monkey then begins to claw you, you may have its fingernails removed as well. When the monkey still “misbehaves” you will have it castrated.

More Bad News:

The yearly veterinarian checkups need to include tuberculosis testing, possibly viral testing, vaccinations and blood examinations. They will cost plenty. Monkeys have been know to carry diseases that can transfer to you and your family and the veterinarian will want to check for these. When it bites a neighbor or strangers, you will need to hire a lawyer as well. When your home insurance company finds out you have a monkey, you will loose your coverage or your premiums will go up.

Your monkey will like junk food more than nutritious food and it is smart enough to know the difference. It will eat all the bad stuff you will give it and may go on to develop diabetes requiring daily insulin injections. (refs) 1 2 and 3

Most of its teeth will eventually be extracted to prevent injury to you or to others. The fragile bones of its jaws will be damaged and the monkeys tongue will hang out of its mouth at a bizarre angle.

Neutering the monkey did not change its disposition. It’s still acting like a cranky old man.

You are told by the USDA and State officials that you need a bigger cage and lots of other major modification. They also tell you you will need to start keep daily paperwork and logbooks for them to inspect. Building proper caging is challenging. The cage will be expensive and bulky. Monkeys are masters at escape and the cost of an acceptable , home made, government-approved, indoor-outdoor cages for a medium size primate is many hundreds or thousands of dollars. The City tells you that you need a building permit and enforces setback requirements. You may need an OK from your City Health Department as well ( they view pet monkeys and apes as a disaster in the making ).

Are you taking credit for this???

 

[Manster7588]

It's cruel. That's why people should care.

That monkey could live and eat better than if he was in the wild.

 

[kramer1]

That monkey could live and eat better than if he was in the wild.

You're an idiot if you really think that

 

[dkmightyhammer]

You're an idiot if you really think that

Why? It's true that many animals live far easier lives than they would in the wild. Don't buy all the PETA hype. These are the same clowns that don't even think people should have cats or dogs and once even said we should drink milk because the act of milking a cow is "humiliating" for the cow. PETA people are nut bags.

 

[kramer1]

Why? It's true that many animals live far easier lives than they would in the wild. Don't buy all the PETA hype. These are the same clowns that don't even think people should have cats or dogs and once even said we should drink milk because the act of milking a cow is "humiliating" for the cow. PETA people are nut bags.

I agree that PETA people are nuts.

We're talking about a monkey. Not an animal bred to live with humans.

 

[Ojb81]

DID. I know TMI.

Did what? Spanked your monkey? Me too!

 

[Rock Strongo]

Why? It's true that many animals live far easier lives than they would in the wild. Don't buy all the PETA hype. These are the same clowns that don't even think people should have cats or dogs and once even said we should drink milk because the act of milking a cow is "humiliating" for the cow. PETA people are nut bags.

good lord man.

really?

 

[Manster7588]

You're an idiot if you really think that

I guess no animals should live in people's homes then. YEAH PETA.