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higgyfan4
Bossman you'll be missed
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When is your stupid avatar bet over jeff? Hopefully soon.
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I'm baaaaaaack....
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I'm baaaaaaack....
HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD, AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE
George Phillips, an elderly man, from Meridian, Mississippi, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.
He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?"
He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me.
Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available"
George said, "Okay."
He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned the police again.
"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot and killed them both, the dogs are eating them right now." and he hung up.
Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the Policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
(True Story) I LOVE IT! Don't mess with old people.
George Phillips, an elderly man, from Meridian, Mississippi, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.
He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?"
He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me.
Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available"
George said, "Okay."
He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned the police again.
"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot and killed them both, the dogs are eating them right now." and he hung up.
Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the Policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
(True Story) I LOVE IT! Don't mess with old people.
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- #167
Automattic
I'm baaaaaaack....
A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO
paperwork, and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where
skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic.
He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes,
attended diligently, and learned all he could. When the time of the
practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks,
and completed the exam with tremendous skill. When the results came back,
he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%.
Fearing an error, he called the Instructor, saying, "I don't
want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if
there is an error in the grade?" "The instructor said, "During the exam,
you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total
mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth
50%of the mark."
After a pause, the instructor added, "I gave
you an extra 50% because you did it all through the muffler,which I've
never seen done in my entire career".
paperwork, and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where
skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic.
He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes,
attended diligently, and learned all he could. When the time of the
practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks,
and completed the exam with tremendous skill. When the results came back,
he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%.
Fearing an error, he called the Instructor, saying, "I don't
want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if
there is an error in the grade?" "The instructor said, "During the exam,
you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total
mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth
50%of the mark."
After a pause, the instructor added, "I gave
you an extra 50% because you did it all through the muffler,which I've
never seen done in my entire career".
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- #168
Automattic
I'm baaaaaaack....
Sorry. Sifting through Emails...
Darkstone42
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Good morning!
Jeff, your breakfast sounds awesome. My was corn flakes, of course.
Also, Earl Gray or Irish Breakfast? I'm open to suggestions.
Jeff, your breakfast sounds awesome. My was corn flakes, of course.
Also, Earl Gray or Irish Breakfast? I'm open to suggestions.
Darkstone42
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I went with Irish Breakfast before you even posted that. I'm thinking I'll drink some Earl Grey this afternoon. Lots of grading to do. I don't want to.
SLY
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I went with Irish Breakfast before you even posted that. I'm thinking I'll drink some Earl Grey this afternoon. Lots of grading to do. I don't want to.
Smart man.
Just had a salad for the first time in years. Not too bad. From Whole Foods.
Chris, I know you like vocal artists a lot. You listen to stuff like Harry Connick Jr.? If so, you know of any modern artists similar to him... More on the jazzy side though, I don't want some pop BS.
Darkstone42
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I don't know of anyone modern, no. Sorry.
Winged_Wheel88
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Judging by the color scheme, she appears to be a San Jose Shark fan.
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- #176
Automattic
I'm baaaaaaack....
Want a cookie, bitch?
Darkstone42
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Good morning! 
I had this crazy dream last night that I was on a spaceship and someone had a kid and there was a pool and then we were all in a house on the top of a mountain, and I had to climb down the mountain to kill people and steal their cars, and then I was on a skateboard and got into a gunfight with an old woman.
I just don't get it...
I had this crazy dream last night that I was on a spaceship and someone had a kid and there was a pool and then we were all in a house on the top of a mountain, and I had to climb down the mountain to kill people and steal their cars, and then I was on a skateboard and got into a gunfight with an old woman.
I just don't get it...
Winged_Wheel88
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Good morning!
I had this crazy dream last night that I was on a spaceship and someone had a kid and there was a pool and then we were all in a house on the top of a mountain, and I had to climb down the mountain to kill people and steal their cars, and then I was on a skateboard and got into a gunfight with an old woman.
I just don't get it...
Sigmund would like for you to go on.
KillerVee
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Morning, guys! Today is good, right?
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