Coffee Talk: I Should Have Had a V-8

[mattola]

Apocalypse slop bucket sales must be in the crapper ... err ... latrine

so he is basically preaching on one side that if you go with god you will be raptured at the Apocalypse ...... but here buy this from ME for the Apocalypse as you will need it when the world is on fire as god may not get to you in 2 years (dude is busy saving Trump I guess)

 

[Comeds]

Apocalypse slop bucket sales must be in the crapper ... err ... latrine

so he is basically preaching on one side that if you go with god you will be raptured at the Apocalypse ...... but here buy this from ME for the Apocalypse as you will need it when the world is on fire as god may not get to you in 2 years (dude is busy saving Trump I guess)

Mmm that orange slop made with a shovel looks really good.

 

[mattola]

Mmm that orange slop made with a shovel looks really good.

i wonder if he sold any to El Salvador Prisons?

 

[mattola]

Mmm that orange slop made with a shovel looks really good.

LOL

 

[Comeds]

LOL

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lol, I cannot decide if - for end times - I want the "Survival Food" bucket.....that sounds like kind of a downer....or the Fiesta bucket.......Oh yeah, Fiesta Bucket it is

 

[mattola]

lol, I cannot decide if - for end times - I want the "Survival Food" bucket.....that sounds like kind of a downer....or the Fiesta bucket.......Oh yeah, Fiesta Bucket it is

End of the world got you emotionally bankrupt? The oceans are boiling, the Wi-Fi’s down, and your family ghosted you—literally. Fear not, because the Fiesta Bucket is here, and it doesn’t judge. Nuclear winter? Spicy. Mass extinction? Tangy. The unbearable weight of existence? Surprisingly crunchy. Sure, your loved ones are gone, your dog joined a biker gang, and your last shred of hope packed a bag and left—but at least your mouth is having a blowout bash like it’s 1999 and the meteor’s en route. So grab a Fiesta Bucket, scream into the void, and let the flavor distract you from the gaping maw of despair.

 

[thedddd]

@thedddd , you know what to do...

 

[jstewismybastardson]

so he is basically preaching on one side that if you go with god you will be raptured at the Apocalypse ...... but here buy this from ME for the Apocalypse as you will need it when the world is on fire as god may not get to you in 2 years (dude is busy saving Trump I guess)

Apocalypse is big business lol much opportunity to grift

Even Costco gets into the action!


/
btw ... i need your expert opinion ... is this a good deal??? I want to really be generous with my mother in laws mothers day gift this Sunday!

 

[dash]

^

 

[mattola]

/
btw ... i need your expert opinion ... is this a good deal??? I want to really be generous with my mother in laws mothers day gift this Sunday!
View attachment 396798

in all seriousness yes this is a great deal. that casket is $3999 if you buy from a funeral home and they mark up 250% and more. NO funeral home can deny you bringing your own casket as long as your dimensions meet the crypt/tomb requirements or the cremation requirements. You can actually BUILD your own as well with the same rules

we had a guy build his own casket for cremation that had a silicon fake pair of breasts that when you close the casket had his face in between the boobs. it was awesome

 

[mattola]

^

i am not even fucking joking when I had this see you next tuesday GM that was hired from the bay suggest we do commercials like this at my last Funeral Home.....

 

[dash]

I always liked the joke where the wife says "You're a horrible man and terrible father - When you die, I'm going to dance on your grave"
The man replies, "I'm going to be buried at sea - Let her dance"

 

[Comeds]

I always liked the joke where the wife says "You're a horrible man and terrible father - When you die, I'm going to dance on your grave"
The man replies, "I'm going to be buried at sea - Let her dance"

Reminds me - According to a story my father used to tell, my great grandfather was arrested for something and they had his family in court to be character witnesses. After being asked if he was a good husband (no), a good father (no), or a good man (no) the judge became exasperated and asked if my great grandmother could say one good thing about him. She thought for a 10-15 seconds and said "He's a good provider". Now that's an endorsement!

I am not sure if this is the same guy or not but it might have been, some great grandparent or uncle had a scheme where during prohibition they would head to the train station with bottles of "whisky". They would sell them real cheap as the train was departing. By the time the buyers opened them and discovered it was tea, the train was already already moving.

 

[dash]

Not good.

 

[thedddd]

^ Yeah that is pretty scary. Knowing these tensions been going on forever just one little escalation and it could get ugly.

 

[buffhockey]

Brian Tyler Cohen (@briantylercohen.bsky.social)

Great work as always, JD.

bsky.app

 

[mattola]

Not good.

here is a time I was working in India and got to drive past their nuclear missile base in Hyderabad.



then there was the time we had to get diverted to Japan instead of flying through Frankfurt because of the iceland volcano. so we had a layover in New Delhi and they had Armed Guards follow our bus from the plane to the terminal. they also had Snipers on every fence around the airport.



This was the same trip that was right after the Mumbai Massacres at the Resorts. I think it was about a month or so after

We had armed guards pick us up at the airport to escort us to our vehicles and then we were separated from our party in case we were kidnapped and they could not take all of us. We were met at the hotel by the most serious armed guards I ever met in my life that had fully automatic machine guns at every elevator and stair entrance.

The airport had bunkers built of sandbags with 50 caliber machine guns locked and loaded.

I drank more on that trip than I ever thought possible

 

[thedddd]

Not good.

And I forgot earlier. Goddam Ukraine!

 

[forty_three]

LOL

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