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I had this thread saved on my computer and I thought I would bring it here:
From the man who brought you "Unwritten board rules and ettiquette" and "things you've learned", I will now teach you all how to keep board trolls to a minimum.
I am slightely intoxicated, so if you see a typo, outwrite lie, or grammatical error.... feel free to take a flying f at a rolling doughnut. This means you, Schoenfield.
And now, HOW TO DISPOSE OF TROLLS
Tip #1: Always respond to their posts.
Trolls hate attention. if someone claims that "player x" is greater than Wayne Gretzky, or starts beating a long dead horse you must immediatly respond. Any message board troll can be sent packing with a good, thorough, well researched argument. Make sure to continue the thread as long as possible, responding to every post. When said troll begins to make obviously fallacious points, this means he is about to leave and you have him/her by the balls.
Tip #2: Trolls hate attention.
Nothing scares away a troll like constantly making threads about him, bringing him up in other threads, or continually commenting on his stupidity. The troll doesn't want anyone to notice his silly threads, so when you focus 90% of your attention on him instead of simply talking hockey it makes him uncomfortable and he will leave.
Tip #3: Check his facts!
Trolls are very carefull about researching and double checking facts before posting them. If a troll states that Adam Oates was the toughest, rawest sob ever to lace them up due to his massive stack of penalty minutes and fights, the best thing to do is spend two or three hours fact checking and gathering data. Then you can destroy the troll with a four page post that took two hours to write describing all the ways he was wrong, and how you are right! That'll show him! Nothing embarrasses a troll like spending two seconds manufacturing fake data resulting in three people spending a combined 103 hours proving him wrong!
Tip #4: Resort to personal attacks.
Calling a troll dumb, uneducated, and accusing him of living in his mother's basement is a foolproof strategy. This can lead to small innocous threads ballooning into 80+ posts. For those of you who don't know, 80+ post threads are like troll kryptonite.
Tip #5: Fight fire with fire!
If there is a particularly aggressive troll who constantly pimps Alex Burrows... become a Pierre-Marc Bouchard troll! Trolls hate it when people pump up their "arch nemisis". Giving a troll free material to work with is an excellent deterent.
Tip #6: Lump posters togather.
If there is a particular troll who is especially prolific in his posting and trolling, note the player or team he trolls for. A massive Bruins troll means that anyone who likes the Bruins is automatically a troll. Also, lump rivals in too. Montreal fans are guilty by association. Isn't that cool? One bad Bruins troll taints two fanbases!
If anyone has any questions, please visit my website at EAT A BAG OF DICKS!
From the man who brought you "Unwritten board rules and ettiquette" and "things you've learned", I will now teach you all how to keep board trolls to a minimum.
I am slightely intoxicated, so if you see a typo, outwrite lie, or grammatical error.... feel free to take a flying f at a rolling doughnut. This means you, Schoenfield.
And now, HOW TO DISPOSE OF TROLLS
Tip #1: Always respond to their posts.
Trolls hate attention. if someone claims that "player x" is greater than Wayne Gretzky, or starts beating a long dead horse you must immediatly respond. Any message board troll can be sent packing with a good, thorough, well researched argument. Make sure to continue the thread as long as possible, responding to every post. When said troll begins to make obviously fallacious points, this means he is about to leave and you have him/her by the balls.
Tip #2: Trolls hate attention.
Nothing scares away a troll like constantly making threads about him, bringing him up in other threads, or continually commenting on his stupidity. The troll doesn't want anyone to notice his silly threads, so when you focus 90% of your attention on him instead of simply talking hockey it makes him uncomfortable and he will leave.
Tip #3: Check his facts!
Trolls are very carefull about researching and double checking facts before posting them. If a troll states that Adam Oates was the toughest, rawest sob ever to lace them up due to his massive stack of penalty minutes and fights, the best thing to do is spend two or three hours fact checking and gathering data. Then you can destroy the troll with a four page post that took two hours to write describing all the ways he was wrong, and how you are right! That'll show him! Nothing embarrasses a troll like spending two seconds manufacturing fake data resulting in three people spending a combined 103 hours proving him wrong!
Tip #4: Resort to personal attacks.
Calling a troll dumb, uneducated, and accusing him of living in his mother's basement is a foolproof strategy. This can lead to small innocous threads ballooning into 80+ posts. For those of you who don't know, 80+ post threads are like troll kryptonite.
Tip #5: Fight fire with fire!
If there is a particularly aggressive troll who constantly pimps Alex Burrows... become a Pierre-Marc Bouchard troll! Trolls hate it when people pump up their "arch nemisis". Giving a troll free material to work with is an excellent deterent.
Tip #6: Lump posters togather.
If there is a particular troll who is especially prolific in his posting and trolling, note the player or team he trolls for. A massive Bruins troll means that anyone who likes the Bruins is automatically a troll. Also, lump rivals in too. Montreal fans are guilty by association. Isn't that cool? One bad Bruins troll taints two fanbases!
If anyone has any questions, please visit my website at EAT A BAG OF DICKS!
