24 Hours in the Life of a Bengals Fan

[vancelot23]

8:00 AM-Wake up feeling a sense of excitement that it's Sunday, but also with a gnawing dread because.......well, it's Sunday.
9:00 AM-Have breakfast, something light in case it comes back up later is preferable. After breakfast, you run to town for last minute provisions for the day, including nachos, beer and aspirin. The guy who checks you out has a 'who dey' tattoo, so you think "this is going to be a good day"
10:00 AM-Open up your first beer, kiss your wife, pet your dog, read to your kids.
11:00 AM-You go into game mode, call your buddy to talk about how you will put it together and win today. You can't lose really. Have another beer.
1:00 PM-Game time. You got the beer and nachos ready. Time to watch your team go to work.
1:15 PM-You ask an empty room "Why did we run the ball there? Is Marvin Lewis dense?"
1:30 PM-Your wife asks why you are screaming at the TV. You look at her like she's from another planet, and have another beer.
2:00 PM-It's obvious that the team is trying to lull the other team into a false sense of security, then they'll strike.
2:05 PM-Marvin Lewis is a moron. Your grandmother could do a better job.
2:30 PM-Halftime. You empty your bladder, grab another beer. Call you buddy to discuss strategy, and settle in for the definite comeback.
3:00 PM-Your kid asks a question to which you reply "DIDN'T I TELL YOU NOT TO INTERRUPT MY BALLGAME?!?!?! YOU'RE GROUNDED!"
3:30 PM-Down just 3 now. You knew it was coming. You were never worried.
4:00 PM-You throw the remote through the window, pull off your Bengals hat and stomp on it, scream about how stupid that a-hole Marvin Lewis is, and kick your dog.
4:30 PM-Sit through a lecture from your wife about how it's just a game, and you need to calm down.
5:00 PM-YOu eat dinner in silence, downing 3 more beers, refusing to talk to the non-understanding woman and aggravating child beside you.
7:00 PM-After a few more beers, you suddenly jump in your car, drive at a high rate of speed to the store you bought supplies at earlier, find the guy who checked you out and punch him right in the mouth.
8:00 PM-You stop at a bar to drown your sorrows, but one of the other patrons looks exactly like Jerome Simpson, so you ask him how in the hell he can drop 8 passes in one game. You don't believe him when he says his name is Dave, so you punch him in the mouth. Brawling ensues, resulting in a broken window, 3 smashed chairs, a destroyed table, a black eye and a fat lip.
9:30 PM-You try to explain to the cop that it's that GD Marvin Lewis's fault, not yours, to no avail.
10:00 PM-You use your one phone call to call your buddy and gripe that this crap team just cost you $100.
11:00 PM-They book you and put you in your cell, which you share with a Steelers fan.
12:00 AM-You like this guy as he talks about how he hopes the Bengals get it together, and that they're definitely on the right track.
2:00 AM-You hate this freaking Steelers homer, you punch him in the mouth, so he kicks you in the groin, followed by you biting him. You beat on each other til a guard shows up, who happens to be a Ravens fan, and who kicks the crap out of both of you.
4:00 AM-You puke up a mix of beer and nachos (and that light breakfast) and fall asleep knowing the Bengals would have won if you were coaching them.
7:00 AM-You go in front of the judge and explain. The judge is a Bengals fan, so he feels sorry for you, and you get off with a fine. The Steelers fan gets 5 years.
8:00 AM-You make it home, shake your head, and tell the empty room "Marvin F'n Lewis". Then you have a beer.

(The above is a work of fiction. Bengals fans are good people. They would never kick their dog.)

 

[DanBengalfan]

Obviously, The Bengals lost because he didn't go to church. At least he could tell the priest about kicking his dog and getting it absolved for 20$.

 

[Papalou]

Howdy gents quick question here and no Im not tryin to stir shit here.

Why cant the Bengals get the fans in the seats?

You guys are in the playoff race and the stands make it look like a high school game.

 

[DanBengalfan]

Howdy gents quick question here and no Im not tryin to stir shit here.

Why cant the Bengals get the fans in the seats?

You guys are in the playoff race and the stands make it look like a high school game.

honestly don't know any more.

They pissed some Hamilton county residents off when Brown ripped them off, but there's still plenty of folks here to buy tickets. Some companies have stopped buying them as perks rather than lay people off. The economy in the area seems to be shrinking in general. Decades of losing, and then the off season stand off. Cincinnati fans are really affected by strikes and shit, since the Reds were almost a lock for the WS the year of the big baseball strike.

still, I don't know for sure.

 

[bengaldoug]

Howdy gents quick question here and no Im not tryin to stir shit here.

Why cant the Bengals get the fans in the seats?

You guys are in the playoff race and the stands make it look like a high school game.

1) Mike Brown

1a) Marvin Lewis

 

[CrashDavisSports]

8:00 AM-Wake up feeling a sense of excitement that it's Sunday, but also with a gnawing dread because.......well, it's Sunday.
9:00 AM-Have breakfast, something light in case it comes back up later is preferable. After breakfast, you run to town for last minute provisions for the day, including nachos, beer and aspirin. The guy who checks you out has a 'who dey' tattoo, so you think "this is going to be a good day"
10:00 AM-Open up your first beer, kiss your wife, pet your dog, read to your kids.
11:00 AM-You go into game mode, call your buddy to talk about how you will put it together and win today. You can't lose really. Have another beer.
1:00 PM-Game time. You got the beer and nachos ready. Time to watch your team go to work.
1:15 PM-You ask an empty room "Why did we run the ball there? Is Marvin Lewis dense?"
1:30 PM-Your wife asks why you are screaming at the TV. You look at her like she's from another planet, and have another beer.
2:00 PM-It's obvious that the team is trying to lull the other team into a false sense of security, then they'll strike.
2:05 PM-Marvin Lewis is a moron. Your grandmother could do a better job.
2:30 PM-Halftime. You empty your bladder, grab another beer. Call you buddy to discuss strategy, and settle in for the definite comeback.
3:00 PM-Your kid asks a question to which you reply "DIDN'T I TELL YOU NOT TO INTERRUPT MY BALLGAME?!?!?! YOU'RE GROUNDED!"
3:30 PM-Down just 3 now. You knew it was coming. You were never worried.
4:00 PM-You throw the remote through the window, pull off your Bengals hat and stomp on it, scream about how stupid that a-hole Marvin Lewis is, and kick your dog.
4:30 PM-Sit through a lecture from your wife about how it's just a game, and you need to calm down.
5:00 PM-YOu eat dinner in silence, downing 3 more beers, refusing to talk to the non-understanding woman and aggravating child beside you.
7:00 PM-After a few more beers, you suddenly jump in your car, drive at a high rate of speed to the store you bought supplies at earlier, find the guy who checked you out and punch him right in the mouth.
8:00 PM-You stop at a bar to drown your sorrows, but one of the other patrons looks exactly like Jerome Simpson, so you ask him how in the hell he can drop 8 passes in one game. You don't believe him when he says his name is Dave, so you punch him in the mouth. Brawling ensues, resulting in a broken window, 3 smashed chairs, a destroyed table, a black eye and a fat lip.
9:30 PM-You try to explain to the cop that it's that GD Marvin Lewis's fault, not yours, to no avail.
10:00 PM-You use your one phone call to call your buddy and gripe that this crap team just cost you $100.
11:00 PM-They book you and put you in your cell, which you share with a Steelers fan.
12:00 AM-You like this guy as he talks about how he hopes the Bengals get it together, and that they're definitely on the right track.
2:00 AM-You hate this freaking Steelers homer, you punch him in the mouth, so he kicks you in the groin, followed by you biting him. You beat on each other til a guard shows up, who happens to be a Ravens fan, and who kicks the crap out of both of you.
4:00 AM-You puke up a mix of beer and nachos (and that light breakfast) and fall asleep knowing the Bengals would have won if you were coaching them.
7:00 AM-You go in front of the judge and explain. The judge is a Bengals fan, so he feels sorry for you, and you get off with a fine. The Steelers fan gets 5 years.
8:00 AM-You make it home, shake your head, and tell the empty room "Marvin F'n Lewis". Then you have a beer.

(The above is a work of fiction. Bengals fans are good people. They would never kick their dog.)

You basically highlighted my Sundays minus so much beer, and then my day on your agenda ends after the 5PM event. :decision:

 

[kramer1]

I yelled at my poor gf's son yesterday as he was trying to talk to me about his fantasy football when there was a minute left in the game.

 

[bengaldoug]

I was screaming at the computer at the end, and the feed was failing, all the while my wife is on the couch looking at me like I'm crazy (I think I really scared her yesterday).....there's just no cure for this damned disease.....

 

[DanBengalfan]

I looked around the spare br where our computer is, no one around, then shoved a rocking chair across the room. I almost broke the damned thing. I have tossed a remote at the television before. I have to be careful now, because what the boys see me do, they do it too.

 

[Gypsumstack]

I actually think my gf was madder than I was after the game. I was just kind of numb and staring off into space. She was cussing out everyone on the tv, and she's not a huge swearer or a huge football fan.

 

[cincygrad]

I knew since the middle of the 3rd quarter that we would lose the game by 1. I felt vindicated after being so negative about our chances. Then I got drunk.

 

[kramer1]

I was texting bearcatdave the entire time. When we went up 16-3 I texted him we won the game. He immediately replied "aint over yet."

 

[cincygrad]

I never felt good about that lead. That was a huge fumble by their running back inside the 5. TJ Yates was basically moving the ball on us all day long. I figured once Marvin got conservative it was only a matter of time before they took the lead. My only hope was that we would get a freak fumble like the Indy game. Turned out we did get it, but then dropped it.

 

[vancelot23]

I've really seen very few coaches as bad as Marv. I was at work, checking the score, and when they made it 19-13, I knew we'd lose. I saw us get the ball back with like 5 min to go and I knew for a fact they'd get it back with at least 3 minutes to go.