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averagejoe
You fell victim to one of the classic blunders.
This is the first script. Although it has been modified.
The 2016 Fantasy Football Season
A Rock Opera
Act I
(Sometime after the NFL draft but before fantasy drafts.)
The 2016 Fantasy Football Season
A Rock Opera
Act I
(Sometime after the NFL draft but before fantasy drafts.)
Hope. Speculation. News.
Most everyone is attempting to target a solid player that is being under-valued.
Is it Dak Prescott? He's doing well in preseason.
Is it 29 year-old Jamaal Charles? Reports in August have him off the PUP list and is starting to practice, just in time for the third preseason game.
Fantasy talk seems to be split regarding Jordy Nelson’s ACL recovery too.
And what about the RB situation in Baltimore? Justin Forsett seems to be the heir apparent. But Terrance West and Kenneth Dixon have been rumored to start. Javorius “Buck” Allen filled in nicely in 2015. And Lorenzo Taliaferro was a 2014 preseason surprise. What? Ravens signed Trent Richardson?
Reports on who will start – as well as news on other players and teams - seems to change daily. You start to question the validity of the assertions and prognostications being made.
< queue the song Liar by the Sex Pistols >
Lie lie lie lie you liar
You lie lie lie, tell me why
Tell me why, why d'you have to lie
Should've realized that you
Should've told the truth
Should've realized you know what I'll do
You're in suspension you're a liar
Now I wanna know
Now I wanna know
Why you never look me in the face
Broke a confidence just to please your ego
Should've realized
You know what I know
You're in suspension
You're a liar
You continue to rank and analyze players roles. Your anticipation for the draft - though weeks away - builds.
Editor’s Note: Quickly fade in The Waiting by the Tom Petty.
Act II
(Draft night.)
(Draft night.)
You’ve ranked and re-ranked players. You’ve checked for the latest injury updates. Maybe you’ve done several mock drafts from different draft positions? Draft night is the most exciting, most anticipated day of the year!
But unbeknown to the other owners, is the secret man-crush you have on a specific player. Or perhaps even several players. You hope that most or all of them fall to you.
When one of them does, you feel “dandy.”
< queue the medley I Want You by the Beatles and Bohemian Like You by the Dandy Warhols >
I want you
I want you so bad
I want you
I want you so bad
It's driving me mad
It's driving me mad
And I like you
Yeah I like you
And I like you, I like you, I like you
I like you, I like you, I like you
And I feel whoa, whoo!
I want you
I want you so bad
I want you
I want you so bad
It's driving me mad
It's driving me mad
And I like you
Yeah I like you
And I like you, I like you, I like you
I like you, I like you, I like you
And I feel whoa, whoo!
Editor’s Note 1: Was not sold on either song a standalone and decided to blend them. Unfortunately all of my hard work at mixing the two songs was impeded by copyright restrictions.
Editor’s Note 2: Quickly fade in You’re My Favorite Mistake by Sheryl Crow followed up by Won’t Get Fooled Again by The Who for anyone that drafted Josh Gordon.
Editor’s Note 2: Quickly fade in You’re My Favorite Mistake by Sheryl Crow followed up by Won’t Get Fooled Again by The Who for anyone that drafted Josh Gordon.
Act III
(Kickoff weekend.)
(Kickoff weekend.)
The second-most exciting time of the fantasy season has finally arrived. Your team is set. All of your efforts and wisdom will now finally be put to the test.
We get a tease with the first game of the new season on Thursday night. But the excitement builds as the full slate of NFL games kicks off on Sunday.
Editor’s Note: Quickly fade in Loving You Sunday Morning by the Scoropions.
< queue the song TV Party by Black Flag >
(2nd stanza)
We've got nothing better to do
Than watch T.V. and have a couple of brews
Don't talk about anything else
We don't wanna know!
We're dedicated
To our favorite shows!
(Saturday Night Live; MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL; Jeffersons)
I wouldn't be without my T.V. for a day
Or even a minute!
Don't even bother to use my brain anymore
There's nothing left in it!
We've got nothing better to do
Than watch T.V. and have a couple of brews.
(2nd stanza)
We've got nothing better to do
Than watch T.V. and have a couple of brews
Don't talk about anything else
We don't wanna know!
We're dedicated
To our favorite shows!
(Saturday Night Live; MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL; Jeffersons)
I wouldn't be without my T.V. for a day
Or even a minute!
Don't even bother to use my brain anymore
There's nothing left in it!
We've got nothing better to do
Than watch T.V. and have a couple of brews.
Act IV
(At a point somewhere around week 5 or 6 in the fantasy season.)
< queue the song Tightrope by Electric Light Orchestra >
They say some days you're gonna win,
They say some days you're gonna lose.
I tell you I got news for you
Your losin' all the time you never win
If you believe that's how it's gonna be I'd better put you down
Get off your tightrope up there come down on
The ground you gotta save me now
You better turn around.
When I looked around, I was heading down,
Won't somebody throw me down a line.
Some of the matchups have not gone as planned. Some of the players you hoped would shine have disappointed.
Because of this tough decisions need to be made. Should I bench some big-name players who are under-performing in favor of the reserves? Should I pull the trigger on a waiver pick? Do I hit the “accept” button on that trade offer?
< queue the song Circumstances by Rush >
All the same we take our chances
Laughed at by time
Tricked by circumstances
Plus ca change
Plus c'est la meme chose
The more that things change
The more they stay the same