Comedy IRONy out of Pittsburgh

[dare2be]

Throw salt on the wound.

Jared Jones To Meet With Dr. Keith Meister Regarding UCL Sprain

The Pirates are sending right-hander Jared Jones to meet with a noted orthopedic surgeon regarding his ailing elbow. Read more at MLBTR.

www.mlbtraderumors.com

Maybe the salt will help his elbow.

 

[esls79]

Holderman gave up 3 more runs but the game was out of reach by the time he came in so at least he couldn’t blow it. His era is sitting at a tidy 9.00 now.

 

[thedddd]

^ sadly they were only down 2-1 when the blowpen was activated.

Thank the Assbats for not doing anything.

 

[thedddd]

24 games in a row where they haven’t scored more than four runs in a game.

#assbats

They are 6-18 during that stretch.

 

[thedddd]

 

[dare2be]

Blowpen was absent tonight.

Also, 25 straight games.

 

[thedddd]

Blowpen was absent tonight.

Also, 25 straight games.

#assbats

 

[esls79]

I’m still on team blowpen but a record is a record so congrats.

 

[thedddd]

I’m still on team blowpen but a record is a record so congrats.

Every aspect of this team outside of Paul Skenes blows.

 

[thedddd]

At least he doesn't have to suffer through this season.

Pirates' Jared Jones To Undergo Elbow Surgery

Pirates right-hander Jared Jones will undergo season-ending elbow surgery to repair his ulnar collateral ligament. Read more at MLB Trade Rumors.

www.mlbtraderumors.com

 

[dare2be]

The backwards Pirates way: complete a 60-day DL stint, THEN do surgery.

 

[esls79]

New mlb record. And no Holderman means no blowpen.

 

[thedddd]

Nice to see their huge offseason addition is contributing since coming off the IL.
He hasn't scored a run either and yet to go past 2nd.

 

[thedddd]

Still surprised if the Pirates or PNC park aren't going to be liable somehow in a civil lawsuit? @Loco2 - not sure if that is even possible?

Friend charged with providing beer to fan who fell from bleachers at Pirates game: Police

The fan, 20-year-old Kavan Markwood, fell from the bleachers onto the field during the seventh inning of the Pirates-Cubs game on April 20, officials said.

abcnews.go.com

And rightfully so he should be charged.


Anyway it brings out some of the worst takes on the internet. At least this fool shows his name.

 

[mattola]

Still surprised if the Pirates or PNC park aren't going to be liable somehow in a civil lawsuit? @Loco2 - not sure if that is even possible?

Friend charged with providing beer to fan who fell from bleachers at Pirates game: Police

The fan, 20-year-old Kavan Markwood, fell from the bleachers onto the field during the seventh inning of the Pirates-Cubs game on April 20, officials said.

abcnews.go.com

And rightfully so he should be charged.


Anyway it brings out some of the worst takes on the internet. At least this fool shows his name.

View attachment 398191

yeah the field should be charged as well. There is a responsibility to not oversell and it sure looks like that occurred.

 

[Loco2]

Still surprised if the Pirates or PNC park aren't going to be liable somehow in a civil lawsuit? @Loco2 - not sure if that is even possible?

For which part I guess:

If it's related to the minor getting alcohol, that would solely be on the person who provided it to him so long as he met the legal requirements to purchase it. No liability on the Pirates there.

Regarding any liability from the fall itself, that would depend on a lot of factors. Did the stadium have a faulty design? Has this issue happened before? Could an alternative design or safety precaution prevented it? Venues have a duty to warn and a duty of care, so there could be some issue, but I think in this instance there wouldn't be much of a case. Civil litigation depends on the "reasonable man" standard, and a drunk minor doesn't meet that very well.


This would be my closing argument if I represented PNC Park...
"Your honor, members of the jury, I will leave you today by noting that PNC is a very safe place for fans to enjoy a game. In 25 years, with more than 80 games a season, and 214 people sitting in the first row along the home run fence, this is the only person to fall off on to the field. That is more than 430,000 fans that safely enjoyed a ball game without any kind of incident because of the design of our safe ballpark and the care of our staff. And only ONE... that did not. Let that sink in for a minute. And additionally in closing, I would argue that there are NO fans in ALL of baseball who enjoy the safety of not being hit by a ball in the home run area than those who are the fans of the Pittsburgh Pirates. (dramatic pause) Buuuuuurnn!!! Crosby sucks!! Eat a dick, PittsBURRRRRGH!!!" (runs out of court)

 

[thedddd]

For which part I guess:

If it's related to the minor getting alcohol, that would solely be on the person who provided it to him so long as he met the legal requirements to purchase it. No liability on the Pirates there.

Regarding any liability from the fall itself, that would depend on a lot of factors. Did the stadium have a faulty design? Has this issue happened before? Could an alternative design or safety precaution prevented it? Venues have a duty to warn and a duty of care, so there could be some issue, but I think in this instance there wouldn't be much of a case. Civil litigation depends on the "reasonable man" standard, and a drunk minor doesn't meet that very well.


This would be my closing argument if I represented PNC Park...
"Your honor, members of the jury, I will leave you today by noting that PNC is a very safe place for fans to enjoy a game. In 25 years, with more than 80 games a season, and 214 people sitting in the first row along the home run fence, this is the only person to fall off on to the field. That is more than 430,000 fans that safely enjoyed a ball game without any kind of incident because of the design of our safe ballpark and the care of our staff. And only ONE... that did not. Let that sink in for a minute. And additionally in closing, I would argue that there are NO fans in ALL of baseball who enjoy the safety of not being hit by a ball in the home run area than those who are the fans of the Pittsburgh Pirates. (dramatic pause) Buuuuuurnn!!! Crosby sucks!! Eat a dick, PittsBURRRRRGH!!!" (runs out of court)

Yeah was thinking more along the lines of the beer sales and that makes sense.

As for the stadium itself those things can happen even with the best designs as long as you have stupid drunk people. Or have to suffer through a Pirates game.

 

[Loco2]

Should have thrown in a "Nibb High Football Rules!!" Opportunity missed.

 

[dare2be]

As for the stadium itself those things can happen even with the best designs as long as you have stupid drunk people. Or have to suffer through a Pirates game.

Don't be redundant.

 

[sbb122]

The Pirates will make Major League history tonight if they score 4 or fewer runs.


No team ever went 27 consecutive games scoring 4 or fewer runs.


They are currently at 26 consecutive games.