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But when it came time for Athletic Director Dan Guerrero to introduce the dolt, Alford got a standing ovation. From one guy.
Everyone else remained seated. And they were given no reason to come to their feet or break out in an eight-clap as UCLA's new basketball leader droned on and on about himself.
We know this much, he has a sizable ego in explaining how successful he has been, and yet he shouldn't even be mentioned in the same category as successful as Ben Howland has been.
When it came time to meet with the media in small groups, Alford took on all questions while looking at his feet. It was as if he had previously rehearsed this and was trying to recall what to say without making eye contact.
"Are you on automatic pilot?" I asked the robot.
"I just like looking around," he said.
That would explain how he ended up at UCLA a few days after agreeing to a 10-year contract extension at New Mexico and telling Lobos fans, "There is no other place I would rather coach than UNM, representing the best fans in the country."