2017 Belmont Stakes Thread

[Comeds]

Monday morning thanks to Real Style talent/casting agency I am shipping out to upstate New York for the Belmont Stakes. First fun fact, the Belmont Stakes is held in Elmont New York. If someone in the bar with me here would have told me that I would have thought they were making it up.

The Belmont is the richest and classiest of all the races so I will fit right in. And nothing says class like these 4 words: Coors Light Food Truck Village! I plan to spend lots of time there. Don't worry, I have my attorney Elocomotive on retainer.

 

[BGDave]

While you are on location, could you find out for me why the August Belmont trophy is awarded in June?

Merci beaucoup

 

[dash]

The Belmont is the longest of the Triple Crown races at 1.5 miles (or if you prefer 12 furlongs or 40 rods).

 

[forty_three]

The Belmont is the longest of the Triple Crown races at 1.5 miles (or if you prefer 12 furlongs or 40 rods).

I can do it in under 12 parsecs.

 

[dash]

I can do it in under 12 parsecs.

I need this shirt...

 

[Comeds]

Thanks for the conversation topics and questions guys.

 

[puckhead]

nothing says class like these 4 words: Coors Light Food Truck Village!

 

[tabascojet]

you dont know classy......

 

[elocomotive]

Monday morning thanks to Real Style talent/casting agency I am shipping out to upstate New York for the Belmont Stakes. First fun fact, the Belmont Stakes is held in Elmont New York. If someone in the bar with me here would have told me that I would have thought they were making it up.

The Belmont is the richest and classiest of all the races so I will fit right in. And nothing says class like these 4 words: Coors Light Food Truck Village! I plan to spend lots of time there. Don't worry, I have my attorney Elocomotive on retainer.

I sent over the following memo to people at Belmont this morning, Comeds, as you requested.

Participating vendors of the Coors Light Food Truck Village (the "Village") should be warned that Comeds is legally entitled to all the complimentary food and beverages (both alcoholic and non-alcoholic) he requests from 7:00am - 6:00 pm on Saturday, June 10th. His ingress to and egress from the Village shall not be impeded or used to create an atmosphere of intimidation so as to prevent him from utilizing this privilege. Failure to comply with these terms or negative comments from vendors (such as "powdered sugar tits") will lead to further legal action and fines as specified in our agreement with Belmont Racing Food Service LLC.


I hope you will reconsider your quest, but if your wishes remain, know that your legal team will do all it can to help you realize your dream of becoming the first American to die due to "funnel cake overdose," as you put it. Godspeed, sir.

 

[Comeds]

I started the Preakness thread with a grammar joke no one noticed or no one liked so I figured I'd go for a simple math goof.

Boldly. Devotedly. Dramatically. Victoriously. All adjectives.

 

[Comeds]

The Greyhound bus just dropped me off in Elmont, New York. After an 8 hours in a 83 degree bus I am happy to be here.

Ah, here it is. The scent of stale beer, syphilis, popcorn, and undiscovered corpses greet me. Smells like home.

Nice, it looks like the Otel 6 Real Style talent/casting agency* has me set up in has a bar. I can make this work.


*Michigan's foremost talent agency

 

[lilchi721]

While you are on location, could you find out for me why the August Belmont trophy is awarded in June?

Merci beaucoup

Well actually the August Belmont trophy is only presented for cermonial purposes only. The winning owner or owners are actually awarded s silver plate to keep with all the previous Belmont winners engraved on it

 

[BGDave]

Coors Light Food Truck Village!

Just so you know, we have high expectations.

You will need to have documented proof of the consumption of > 93 Coors Light. You don't want those neanderthal Preds fans to show you up.

/the t-shirt is optional

 

[Comeds]

Darkness. So cold.

I just woke up in a bathtub full of ice with an incision on my side. Fuckin Real Style talent/casting agency stole my kidney! Last thing I remember was arriving Thursday night and having a gift basket of booze waiting for me. And the place has a strong pron caliber wifi connection so the evening was looking good. Then darkness. I mean, the jokes on them. My kidney is probably pickled but I still wanted it.

If I miss the race I'm going to be angry. If I miss the Coors Light Food Truck Village I'm going to be furious. Better wear a red shirt.

Oh, a blood stain on the floor looks like a G so my official pick for the race is Gormley.....

 

[Old Lion]

Looking at Lee and Sr. Investment.

 

[puckhead]

Oh, a blood stain on the floor looks like a G so my official pick for the race is Gormley.....

that was a hint for another race

 

[BGDave]

Darkness. So cold.

I just woke up in a bathtub full of ice with an incision on my side. Fuckin Real Style talent/casting agency stole my kidney! Last thing I remember was arriving Thursday night and having a gift basket of booze waiting for me. And the place has a strong pron caliber wifi connection so the evening was looking good. Then darkness. I mean, the jokes on them. My kidney is probably pickled but I still wanted it.

If I miss the race I'm going to be angry. If I miss the Coors Light Food Truck Village I'm going to be furious. Better wear a red shirt.

Oh, a blood stain on the floor looks like a G so my official pick for the race is Gormley.....

Good thing you have 2.

/Going back next year?