Top 10 Worst NHL Clichés

[SLY]

Actually pretty humorous...

10. A two-goal lead is the hardest to protect
Somehow, and I know this might sound hard to believe to the untrained ear, a one-goal lead – which can be erased with, you guessed it, one goal – is easier to protect than a two-goal advantage. All this time the NHL had goals that count as double-and-triple-scores and nobody told me.

9. We didn’t play a full 60 minutes
Are there teams out there leaving the game en masse midway through the third period, or taking a brief sabbatical 15 minutes into the first? Of course not. Fellas, you all play at least a full 60 minutes every night. You just don’t play those minutes well sometimes. Be more specific.

8. That’s a goal-scorer’s goal
Fact: any goal scored is, by definition, a goal-scorer’s goal. Before I die, I would love to see an assist-notcher’s goal, a defensive defenseman’s goal or a coach’s goal, but I suspect that isn’t going to happen.

7. 110 percent
Approximately 140 percent of all mathematicians hate this jibba-jabba with white-hot passion. And more than 8,000 percent of all people think people who say this should have to apologize each time they do.

6. Dirty areas
Meant to describe the most competitive, physical zones on the ice, this phrase has a different, adult-only meaning to me. First time I heard the phrase used, I thought somebody was talking about the neighborhoods where Lindsay Lohan and Gene Simmons reside.

5. We have to take it one game at a time
Believe you me, when it’s the middle of February and teams are so defense-minded they allow 5-10 shots a game, nobody wishes games could be played two at a time more than I do. Alas, that’s not the case, so quit pretending someone is asking you to do so, guys.

4. Obviously/Like I said
If I had a quarter for each time a player used “obviously” and/or “like I said” in an interview, I’d be the frontrunner to buy the Phoenix Coyotes. Players will drop one of those lines constantly – a fact that becomes especially frustrating when they’re saying something they haven’t previously said, or when their point isn’t obvious. Obviously, I wish they were less willing to use this crutch.

3. Moving/going forward
The trans-fat of the sports cliché world, moving/going forward can be removed from any sentence and the sentence will be better for it. Next time anyone you know says this, you have my permission to berate them into a bloody mess. Going forward, that is. If you’re going/moving backward in time, feel free to use going forward whenever you want.

2. At the end of the day
If I’m sure of one thing, it’s this: at the end of the day, it’s the beginning of another day. Don’t get me wrong – I liked the movie The Remains Of The Day and usually inquire about the soup of the day, but at the end of the day, this nonsense is superfluous in the extreme.

1. It is what it is
The Queen Mother of banal, empty, curiosity-killing, conversation-ending clichés. If the Flat Earth Society told that to Galileo and he accepted them at their word, where would civilization be today? When someone discovers something that isn’t what it is, I’m happy to hear about it.

taken from The Hockey News: THN.com Top 10: THN.com Top 10: Worst NHL clichés

 

[SLY]

I use 6 and 7 a lot myself.

 

[Slimpikins]

Wow a Gene Simmons reference, how hip and relevant. I think 'give credit to the other team's gets ovearused a lot. If you beat a team by six goals what the hell are you giving them credit for.


Edit: It's too fucking early...

 

[NullDefault]

Most of these sound like the generic audio commentary from NHL video games.

 

[dash]

"We need to play a team game" not on the list?!?

 

[SLY]

Dash, you should be writing these articles...

 

[quoipourquoi]

Most of these sound like the generic audio commentary from NHL video games.

Either that, or the Joe Sakic/Sidney Crosby playbook of boring the fuck out of me on interviews.

 

[dash]

Dash, you should be writing these articles...

lol...I'd be out on my ass in a week for too much Oilers hatred in my pieces.

 

[quoipourquoi]

lol...I'd be out on my ass in a week for too much Oilers hatred in my pieces.

Your first article:

"Ryan Nugent-Hopkins: Why the Long Face?"

 

[dash]

Your first article:

"Ryan Nugent-Hopkins: Why the Long Face?"

That's good stuff...

/Magnus Paajaaaaaaarvi - Will I ever score again?

 

[whyoh]

forgot mullets

 

[Voltaire26]

Red Wings are the best team in hockey ... oops you said worst cliche's (Sorry having a homer moment)

 

[quoipourquoi]

That's good stuff...

/Magnus Pajaaaaaaarvi - Will I ever score again?

"A tip of the glass to Nikolai Khabibulin's hot start in Edmonton. Through the first two months of the season, he has moved with the confidence of a man with a heightened blood alcohol concentration."

 

[IPostedWhat]

2 in the pink, 1 in the....


oops, wrong list.

 

[BOSSMANPC]

" I bet the goalie would like to have that one back" No shit !!

 

[mattola]

pretty much anything Pierre McQuirre says or Gord Miller


Pierre "Hes a Monster"
Gord "Gets on his Horse..."

 

[filosofy29]

" I bet the goalie would like to have that one back" No shit !!

I believe it was Bill Clement when MacInnis scored on Osgood from the Red Line in the playoffs, paraphrased "Well Ozzy would definitely like that one back. But you know what, he's not gonna get it"

Really Bill? You mean there aren't "do overs" in hockey?

 

[Winged_Wheel88]

I use 6 and 7 a lot myself.

That's what she said.

 

[IPostedWhat]

"You miss 100% of the shots you take."




My bad, that is actually what they say about Leino.

 

[buffhockey]

Eddie O:

"He tried to check him into the 4th row."


or

describing 4 on 4 power play or OT:

"D on forwards, forwards on D." - EVERY F'n TIME!!