tOfficial ritual sacrifice for success thread

[tnapucco]

BRINGING IN THE SHEAVES
BRINGING IN THE SHEAVES
I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT THEY ARE
BUT WE BE BRINGING THEM SHITS IN

IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN FUTBOL FLOCK. TIME TO SLICE, DICE AND JULIENNE THEM CRITTERS AS ST. RONCO PROVIDED YOU THE TOOLS TO DO SO LOOOOONG AGO (SHIPPING AND HANDLING WILL NEVER BE INCLUDED SO QUIT ASKING).

ARE YOU CONFIDENT? DO YOU HONESTLY THINK THE HANDS OF MERE MORTAL MEN CAN CONTROL THEIR OWN FATES? BWA. BWAHAHAHA. OH YOU PATHETIC LITTLE MORSELS.

ONLY THE DIVINE INTERVENTION OF THE OMNIPOTENT FUTBOL GAWDZ CAN SAVE YOUR VICARITY. AND THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO GET THEM, WHAT BEND THE RULES OF MAN AND BOUNCES OF DRIED PIGSKIN, TO SNIFF UPON YOUR TAINTED SUPPORTERS....BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD.

NOT JUST ANY BLOOD WILL DO FWENDZ. ONLY THE BLOOD OF INNOCENT FLORA AND FAUNA CAN SATIATE THE LUSTFUL DESIRES OF THE FUTBOL GAWDZ. YOU SHALL RECEIVE THE CHANCE AT DOUBLE REDEMPTION BY SACRIFICING THAT BEAST WHAT IS THE SYMBOL OF YOUR RIVAL AND/OR OPPONENT.

NON-BELIEVERS FEELED THE WRATH AND FICKLE FUZZIES OF THE FUTBOL GAWDZ LAST YEAR, VERILY.

DOTH, OR DOTH NOT...MAKES ME NO HITHERTOO.

IN THEIR NAMES WE PRAY...OMAHA OMAHA.

 

[tnapucco]

OU already has bad juju by losing two athletes to injury in summer camp.

HEAR ME OH FOOTBALL GOGS, I COME BEFORE YOU AS A FAITHFUL SERVANT AND RABID COLLEGE FOOTBALL TEAM ENTHUSIAST WILLING TO DO YOUR BIDDING.

I HEREBY OFFER YOU THIS LOATHESOME BEAST AS AN OFFERING. PLEASE ACCEPT THIS MEAGER OFFERING SO THAT MY TEAM WILL PROSPER AND FLOURISH.

RAIN HELLFIRE AND BRIMSTONE ON ALL THAT WOULD OPPOSE US. SMITE THEM VERILY OH OMNIPOTENT ONES, AS WE ARE THE ONLY TEAM WORTH YOUR GRACIOUSNESS.

IN YOUR NAMES WE PRAY. OMAHA OMAHA.

welp.....
Source: OU's Norwood hurts knee, return iffy

 

[outofyourmind]

welp.....
Source: OU's Norwood hurts knee, return iffy

 

[tnapucco]

UR ALTARZ ARE LOOKING MIGHTY CLEAN YOU MEEK MORTALZ.

THE FUTBOL GAWDZ ARE NOT PLEASED. NO LIGAMENTZ, BONEZ OR BRAINZ ARE SAFE FROM THEIR UNSATIABLE HUNGERZ.

COME. COME TO THE ALTAR AND SNUFF THEM CRITTERZ. ADORN THYSELFZ WITH THE SINEWZ AND GRISTLEZ AND DO THE WATUZI 'ROUND THE FIRE. ITZ THE ONLY WAY TO PROTECT YOURNSELFZ FROM WISHING BASKETBALL WOULD HURRY UP.

I WARNED YOU.

IN THEIR NAMEZ WE DOTH PRAY VERILY. OMAHA OMAHA.

AWSHIT.

 

[tnapucco]

HELLFIRE AND BRIMSTONE IS IN THE AIR FWENDZ. THE FUTBOL GAWDZ GIVE CRUNCH TIME A HOLE NEW MEANING. YOU OF THE CRIMSON EPHELUMPZ HAVE REALLY PISSED OFF THE OMNIPOTENTZ GAWDZ OF THE BROWN SOW BALLOON! YOU CAIN'T PUT RUNNED-OVER CRITTERZ ON THE ALTAR, THEY DONE BEEN CULLED BY THE ROLLEY METAL BOX GAWDZ. WHO DO YOU THINK UR DEALIN' WIFF?

THERE IS STILL TIME ON THE SCOREBOARD FWRENNDZ. ITS NOT TOO LATE. IF'N YOU CAN FIND SOME ROAD SCORE WHAT STILL TWITCHES A BIT, TOSS 'EM UP ON THE SLAB HERE. YOU WON'T GET WHAT YOU WANT, BUT YOU JUST MIGHT FIND YOU GET WHAT YOU NEED.

BONUS POINTS WILL BE AWARDED IF'N YOU CAN SPELL THE NAME OF THE TARGET YOU WISH TO PROTECT.

*THOSE POLLY KNEESIAN FOLKS AREN'T REDEEMABLE THOUGH, SORRY. THE TATER GAWDZ ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THOSE WEIRDOS. THEE FUTBAWL GODZ WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM. LAST TIME THEY HELPED ONE, THOSE FOLKS WERE ON THEIR PORCH EVERYDAY PUSHING THOSE TRACTS IN THEIR FACE.