Q: What do Texas Longhorns call it when a referee throws a game?
A: Saturday
Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, a classy Texas Fan and an old drunk are
walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a
hundred dollar bill. Who gets it?
* The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythical creatures.
Two Longhorn football players were down on 6th street partying up a storm.
They were hootin', hollerin' and yee hawin' when the bartender asked them why they were celebrating. The smart one said proudly that they had just finished a jigsaw puzzle and it only took two months.
"Two months!?" exclaimed the bartender. "To complete a simple puzzle?"
The Texan replied, "Yeah, but the box said 4-6 years."
Q: Why do Texas Longhorn fans like to have sex with the lights off?
A: So it won't run down the battery in the pickup.