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vancelot23
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I spent some time trying to come up with a name for my NFL post-season awards. The Vancies came to mind. Maybe the Meekers. Eventually, I realized that I was a moron. So, welcome to the 1st annual awards that need no name because they're fake awards. Here we go:
MVP-Get the easiest out of the way first. I'm a huge Drew Brees fan, but this one is simple. Aaron Rodgers has completed almost 70% of his passes, with 45 TDs and just 6 INTs. His worst game was one where he threw for a TD, ran for another, and had no INTs. He hasn't thrown more than one INT in a game this season. Brees is great, but Rodgers is MVP.
Rookies of the Year-Cam Newton (barely) and Von Miller. AJ Green really deserves some praise, and is a close 2nd. Same with Aldon Smith on defense. Patrick Peterson was also fantastic along with Andy Dalton, but Newton is a scoring machine, while Miller is the reason Tim Tebow is "a winner".
Defensive Player of the Year-Lots of deserving guys here. Three guys have at least 18 sacks. London Fletcher is tackling everything in site. Charles Woodson is a turnover waiting to happen, and Justin Smith is doing everything for the 49ers. I'm going with Jason Allen. He's been the only thing Vikings fans have to cheer about this year, and can break 20 sacks next week.
Coach of the Year-Anybody that even mentions Marvin Lewis's name should be banned from talking about football. Mike McCarthy was close to an undefeated season. Bill Belichick is always in the running. However, Jim Harbaugh gets the nod here. The Niners are looking at the possibility of a 1st round playoff bye, and their defense is destroying teams.
Play of the Year-I didn't see every play of every game, so I might have missed a few great ones. Jerome Simpson flipping, and landing, to score a TD was a front-runner, along with Carolina's sort-of fumblerooski play. Simpson's play could have wound up with a season, or career, ending injury, so I'll go with Carolina's trickery.
The Matt Millen bad move of the year-Goes to the Oakland Raiders trading of what will probably be a 1st round pick this year and a 2nd round pick next year for a guy who has thrown 15 interceptions in 9 games. If Carson Palmer had played the 1st 6 games at this pace, he'd lead the league. Oakland is 4-5 since the trade.
The Johnny Cochran "you should be a law expert by now" Award-This one goes to Dez Bryant. How many times has he been sued now? STOP BORROWING MONEY AND NOT PAYING IT BACK!!!
The Coaching Blunder of the Year-Jason Garrett wins here for his failure to logically use the available timeouts, followed by the icing of his own kicker. If they miss the playoffs, that one is going to be remembered.
TD Celebration of the Year-There were some pretty good ones, including Pierre Thomas putting a bow on the ball and giving it to a fan, but Victor Cruz's TD salsa tops all of them. Also in his favor, in the games I've seen, when they're behind, he's got enough class to not do it.
The Buzz Aldrin Spaceman Award-OK, I made this one up just to get Jerome Simpson an award for that ridiculous TD.
The Bobby Petrino Quitter of the Year-The entire Tampa Bay Buccaneers team. Raheem Morris should spike their next team dinner with X-Lax.
Best Commercial Appearance-This category would have been dominated by Peyton Manning in year's past if, you know, I had ever thought of this before. I enjoy the Geico commercials with Brian Orakpo, but Troy Polamalu's Head and Shoulders commercials crack me up.
Best free agent signing-The Saints signed Darren Sproles to take over for Reggie Bush. He would get some carries, some looks out of the backfield, and some special teams work. 2500 yards later, he's made Saints management look like geniuses.
The Eye-rolling moment of the Year-Not really a single moment, but the referees and the league need to figure out what's a penalty, and what isn't. I get the shots to the head, but you seemingly can't tackle a WR unless you let the catch the ball and run 5 yards first.
Division of the Year-The AFC North might wind up with 3 playoff teams. The Steelers and Ravens are top 6 or 7 teams in the league and the Bengals are a team on the rise. The Browns are, well, still the Browns, but the other 3 teams are good.
The WTF happened to him? Award-Philip Rivers went from top 5 NFL QB, to throwing INTs around like Eli Manning.
The Red Cross Award-Several teams have been hammered by injuries to key positions. The Chiefs lost Jammaal Charles right away and Matt Cassell and Eric Berry later. The Texans lost Mario Williams, Matt Schaub, and has been without Andre Johnson for large parts of the year. The winner though, is the Chicago Bears. They were well on their way to the playoffs when Jay Cutler and Matt Forte went down. They've lost every game since Cutler went down.
Story of the Year-The Lockout of course. Grown men acting like children. Millionaires arguing with billionaires over the money of people who make $30,000 a year. They threatened the season, but got it done at the last minute.
Moron of the Year-Lots of idiots this season. Ndomukong Suh doing a jig on a man's arm. Bryan Robinson using another man's junk as a hackeysack. Dez Bryant, the litigation king. But nobody can claim the type of stupidity shown by one Sam Hurd, the drug kingpin of Chicago. His ignorance is so profound, that this award will henceforth be named "The Sam Hurd Moron of the Year" award.
Well, there you have it. It's more fun than the Oscars. More prestigious than the Espys. And more competitive than the Daytime Emmys. Your awards will be shipped to you at a future date. They have no cash value, and don't get them near water. Thanks everybody.
MVP-Get the easiest out of the way first. I'm a huge Drew Brees fan, but this one is simple. Aaron Rodgers has completed almost 70% of his passes, with 45 TDs and just 6 INTs. His worst game was one where he threw for a TD, ran for another, and had no INTs. He hasn't thrown more than one INT in a game this season. Brees is great, but Rodgers is MVP.
Rookies of the Year-Cam Newton (barely) and Von Miller. AJ Green really deserves some praise, and is a close 2nd. Same with Aldon Smith on defense. Patrick Peterson was also fantastic along with Andy Dalton, but Newton is a scoring machine, while Miller is the reason Tim Tebow is "a winner".
Defensive Player of the Year-Lots of deserving guys here. Three guys have at least 18 sacks. London Fletcher is tackling everything in site. Charles Woodson is a turnover waiting to happen, and Justin Smith is doing everything for the 49ers. I'm going with Jason Allen. He's been the only thing Vikings fans have to cheer about this year, and can break 20 sacks next week.
Coach of the Year-Anybody that even mentions Marvin Lewis's name should be banned from talking about football. Mike McCarthy was close to an undefeated season. Bill Belichick is always in the running. However, Jim Harbaugh gets the nod here. The Niners are looking at the possibility of a 1st round playoff bye, and their defense is destroying teams.
Play of the Year-I didn't see every play of every game, so I might have missed a few great ones. Jerome Simpson flipping, and landing, to score a TD was a front-runner, along with Carolina's sort-of fumblerooski play. Simpson's play could have wound up with a season, or career, ending injury, so I'll go with Carolina's trickery.
The Matt Millen bad move of the year-Goes to the Oakland Raiders trading of what will probably be a 1st round pick this year and a 2nd round pick next year for a guy who has thrown 15 interceptions in 9 games. If Carson Palmer had played the 1st 6 games at this pace, he'd lead the league. Oakland is 4-5 since the trade.
The Johnny Cochran "you should be a law expert by now" Award-This one goes to Dez Bryant. How many times has he been sued now? STOP BORROWING MONEY AND NOT PAYING IT BACK!!!
The Coaching Blunder of the Year-Jason Garrett wins here for his failure to logically use the available timeouts, followed by the icing of his own kicker. If they miss the playoffs, that one is going to be remembered.
TD Celebration of the Year-There were some pretty good ones, including Pierre Thomas putting a bow on the ball and giving it to a fan, but Victor Cruz's TD salsa tops all of them. Also in his favor, in the games I've seen, when they're behind, he's got enough class to not do it.
The Buzz Aldrin Spaceman Award-OK, I made this one up just to get Jerome Simpson an award for that ridiculous TD.
The Bobby Petrino Quitter of the Year-The entire Tampa Bay Buccaneers team. Raheem Morris should spike their next team dinner with X-Lax.
Best Commercial Appearance-This category would have been dominated by Peyton Manning in year's past if, you know, I had ever thought of this before. I enjoy the Geico commercials with Brian Orakpo, but Troy Polamalu's Head and Shoulders commercials crack me up.
Best free agent signing-The Saints signed Darren Sproles to take over for Reggie Bush. He would get some carries, some looks out of the backfield, and some special teams work. 2500 yards later, he's made Saints management look like geniuses.
The Eye-rolling moment of the Year-Not really a single moment, but the referees and the league need to figure out what's a penalty, and what isn't. I get the shots to the head, but you seemingly can't tackle a WR unless you let the catch the ball and run 5 yards first.
Division of the Year-The AFC North might wind up with 3 playoff teams. The Steelers and Ravens are top 6 or 7 teams in the league and the Bengals are a team on the rise. The Browns are, well, still the Browns, but the other 3 teams are good.
The WTF happened to him? Award-Philip Rivers went from top 5 NFL QB, to throwing INTs around like Eli Manning.
The Red Cross Award-Several teams have been hammered by injuries to key positions. The Chiefs lost Jammaal Charles right away and Matt Cassell and Eric Berry later. The Texans lost Mario Williams, Matt Schaub, and has been without Andre Johnson for large parts of the year. The winner though, is the Chicago Bears. They were well on their way to the playoffs when Jay Cutler and Matt Forte went down. They've lost every game since Cutler went down.
Story of the Year-The Lockout of course. Grown men acting like children. Millionaires arguing with billionaires over the money of people who make $30,000 a year. They threatened the season, but got it done at the last minute.
Moron of the Year-Lots of idiots this season. Ndomukong Suh doing a jig on a man's arm. Bryan Robinson using another man's junk as a hackeysack. Dez Bryant, the litigation king. But nobody can claim the type of stupidity shown by one Sam Hurd, the drug kingpin of Chicago. His ignorance is so profound, that this award will henceforth be named "The Sam Hurd Moron of the Year" award.
Well, there you have it. It's more fun than the Oscars. More prestigious than the Espys. And more competitive than the Daytime Emmys. Your awards will be shipped to you at a future date. They have no cash value, and don't get them near water. Thanks everybody.
