Texas special teams coach Jeff Banks's stripper girlfriend Pole Assassin's monkey attacked and seriously hurt a trick-or-treating child on Halloween

[BusSport]

This has got to be the most bizarre college football headline I've seen in a while.

Texas special teams coach Jeff Banks left his wife and kids to be with a stripper named Pole Assassin who tweets at recruits; her monkey attacked and seriously hurt a trick-or-treating child on Halloween

Various links to this story:

*Updated* *Lots Of Monkey Business* University of Texas Special Teams Coach Jeff Bank’s Pet Monkey Possibly Violently Attacked A Young Trick or Treater

*Scroll for Updates I saw this story and immediately knew this was true. That's what happens when you don't train monkeys. Because look what happens, a monkey goes rogue and now a young boy is hurt. I...

www.barstoolsports.com

Pet monkey of Texas football coach allegedly attacks kid trick-or-treating

A pet monkey belonging to the girlfriend of Texas football assistant coach Jeff Banks allegedly attacked a child on Halloween.

fansided.com

The time a Texas special teams coach's girlfriend's monkey allegedly attacked a trick-or-treater

Just another story about a college football coach's stripper girlfriend's pet monkey alledgedly attacking a child on Halloween.

thecomeback.com

Longhorn coach Jeff Banks' stripper girlfriend tweeting at recruits | TexAgs

Longhorn coach Jeff Banks' stripper girlfriend tweeting at recruits discussion on the TexAgs Texas A&M Football forum.

texags.com

 

[broncosmitty]

 

[Tritonboat71]

Assistant coach with a stripper

Great recruiting tactic!

Well Played Texas

 

[All-Star Benchwarmer]

I heard on the radio that the kid was in an area he wasn't supposed to be. Possibly got lost or wandered away. I could have made this part up, but I hear the father in charge got distracted.

 

[tabascojet]

View attachment 282560

I heard on the radio that the kid was in an area he wasn't supposed to be. Possibly got lost or wandered away. I could have made this part up, but I hear the father in charge got distracted.

Father distracted.... bet he did.

 

[wazzu31]

Assistant coach with a stripper

Great recruiting tactic!

Well Played Texas

Well allegedly he was a top the list for our coaching candidates.

 

[lilchi721]

Love to know what the College Gameday signs will be for this one.

 

[PIBuckeye]

This is just over the top.......... Quite the headline. Hard to make that one up.............

just a monument facepalm right there.....

 

[PIBuckeye]

 

[RoosterSideburns]

“According to police reports, 6’5” blue chip recruit Mikey was seriously hurt when he yelled trick or treat and the startled monkey bit into his outstretched penis, which was pinned between Miss assassine’s hand and her “bag of candy”.”

 

[bocomo007]

ok folks, let's play Fuck, Marry, Kill...

 

[BusSport]

Brass Monkey, that funky Monkey...!

 

[PIBuckeye]

ok folks, let's play Fuck, Marry, Kill...

easy.

Jeff Banks is going to get fucked from Bubba in prison, marry him, then kill himself..........

 

[Used 2 B Hu]

So has this guy been fired yet?

Because it seems like SOMEbody down in Austin needs to be fired for this season

 

[All-Star Benchwarmer]

So has this guy been fired yet?

Because it seems like SOMEbody down in Austin needs to be fired for this season

Can he really be responsible for a hook...er, stripper girlfriend's monkey?

 

[Used 2 B Hu]

Can he really be responsible for a hook...er, stripper girlfriend's monkey?

You gotta send a strong message, man

 

[All-Star Benchwarmer]

You gotta send a strong message, man

The monkey is at fault here. Send a message and spank the monkey.

 

[lilchi721]

Did they euthanize the monkey yet?

 

[msgkings322]

I just came here to say that this is the best thread title in the history of threads, or titles.

 

[The Q]

Texas hasn’t won since this happened