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Marco Doubypops
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After Fro's golden comment about the Vaggie Burger, I was thinking about the best English speakers on this team. It's tougher than you think: especially when you consider that ghetto is not English. (I'm looking at you, Reggie.)
Here's what I've come up with after toiling over interviews for literally minutes:
1. Blayless - A black man who can speak. Maybe if he wasn't wasting so much of his brain on language, he'd be a true #1 point guard. He seems to choose his words carefully and has a well-developed voice.
2. DD - He often uses words over 6 letters, the only reason that he's not number 1 on the list is that he slurs his yeahs in that typical compton fashion.
3. Cheeseburger - You can still hear his ghetto accent a little bit sometimes. But being around that sly fox BC for a whole year has helped.
4. The 2nd Johnson in "Johnson & Johnson" - This man must listen to hockey players all day long, because that's what he sounds like.
5. Amir - You rarely hear him say "uhhhhhhhh" which is rare for an athlete, it's refreshing. Gets to the point, he's not overzealous with his word choices. Above average.
6. Joey Dorsey - On the court, I cry when I think of his power. Remember last year when he tried tomahawking from behind the FT line? I do. It was the most beautiful foul I've ever seen. Though in terms of language, he is exactly average by NBA standards. (he says "axed" instead of "asked", that's annoying.)
7. Linas Klezia - Speaks with the accent, but you can make out most of what he says. Quite boring.
8. Money - Mumbles inaudible grunts frequently. I'm curious as to how he and DD communicate, they seem to be quite different, but maybe DD is billingual.
9. Barbosa - Comprehendable about the same amount of time as Sonny, but the French accent on the Spanish body throws me off.
10. Jose - His flappy mouth allows him to shape his lips into being able to sometimes form English words. It's pure magic, but he doesn't have that natural talent for English.
11. Julian Wright - Dumbass.
12. Reggie - His voice is soft, and despite that, he can barely get a point across. Either he's so lazy that he wants to use the least amount of syllables possible to convey a point, or he's a straight up caveman, homie.
13. Tag - To his credit, he can handle himself in an interview now, and 5 years ago, he barely spoke a word of English. But 5 years ago, he barely spoke a word of English.
14. Alabi - The 2nd part of the D- League twin towers still needs to be spoken slowly and simply to, but it's understandable, he'll never make a rotation anyways. Ever.
15. Alexis Ajinca - There's still no proof anywhere that this man has ever spoken a word of English in his life. Only French. I guess it's fitting that the absolute most garbage player we've had since alien-head is also the most language-retarded one.
Bonus: Jonas Valanciunas - He's where Andrea was 5 years ago; though, I'm almost tempted to rank him ahead of Alexis Texas...errr...I mean Ajinca because he might actually learn some.
Here's what I've come up with after toiling over interviews for literally minutes:
1. Blayless - A black man who can speak. Maybe if he wasn't wasting so much of his brain on language, he'd be a true #1 point guard. He seems to choose his words carefully and has a well-developed voice.
2. DD - He often uses words over 6 letters, the only reason that he's not number 1 on the list is that he slurs his yeahs in that typical compton fashion.
3. Cheeseburger - You can still hear his ghetto accent a little bit sometimes. But being around that sly fox BC for a whole year has helped.
4. The 2nd Johnson in "Johnson & Johnson" - This man must listen to hockey players all day long, because that's what he sounds like.
5. Amir - You rarely hear him say "uhhhhhhhh" which is rare for an athlete, it's refreshing. Gets to the point, he's not overzealous with his word choices. Above average.
6. Joey Dorsey - On the court, I cry when I think of his power. Remember last year when he tried tomahawking from behind the FT line? I do. It was the most beautiful foul I've ever seen. Though in terms of language, he is exactly average by NBA standards. (he says "axed" instead of "asked", that's annoying.)
7. Linas Klezia - Speaks with the accent, but you can make out most of what he says. Quite boring.
8. Money - Mumbles inaudible grunts frequently. I'm curious as to how he and DD communicate, they seem to be quite different, but maybe DD is billingual.
9. Barbosa - Comprehendable about the same amount of time as Sonny, but the French accent on the Spanish body throws me off.
10. Jose - His flappy mouth allows him to shape his lips into being able to sometimes form English words. It's pure magic, but he doesn't have that natural talent for English.
11. Julian Wright - Dumbass.
12. Reggie - His voice is soft, and despite that, he can barely get a point across. Either he's so lazy that he wants to use the least amount of syllables possible to convey a point, or he's a straight up caveman, homie.
13. Tag - To his credit, he can handle himself in an interview now, and 5 years ago, he barely spoke a word of English. But 5 years ago, he barely spoke a word of English.
14. Alabi - The 2nd part of the D- League twin towers still needs to be spoken slowly and simply to, but it's understandable, he'll never make a rotation anyways. Ever.
15. Alexis Ajinca - There's still no proof anywhere that this man has ever spoken a word of English in his life. Only French. I guess it's fitting that the absolute most garbage player we've had since alien-head is also the most language-retarded one.
Bonus: Jonas Valanciunas - He's where Andrea was 5 years ago; though, I'm almost tempted to rank him ahead of Alexis Texas...errr...I mean Ajinca because he might actually learn some.
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