POWERBALL!

[forty_three]

(blatantly stolen)

So, you win. And you buy your team (or as much of your team's value as you can with the winnings - you are Majority Owner).

What do you do?


I'll start.
- Torts is shot out of the cannon towards Lake Erie. Hartsburg is my guy, and Hinote comes back on the bench as assistant.
- I walk into Jarmo's office and state, very clearly, that he fucked up the Johansen thing. I express that I will veto anything I don't like, and if his next idea is as bad I will fire him on the spot. I will make his seat so hot, that he won't be able to stay in the same office with it. His job: A bonafide #1 Center at the opening of next season. And no more disgruntled players.
- I make sure JD hears all of that and tell him if Jarmo fucks up bad enough, it's your ass too.
- Bring in someone to work with the medical staff and figure out where they keep missing things. Bob's groin, Calvert's concussion, etc. Something's not working right.
- Petition the league for a Winter Classic. Make it Michigan Vs Ohio, and not just one game.
Wings vs Jackets
Lake Erie vs Grand Rapids
OSU Men vs Michigan
OSU Women vs Michigan
AAA U18 Jackets vs Belle Tire
Ohio High School Champs Vs Michigan Champs.
- Give every season ticket holder a copy of each of those kickass game day posters, and offer the rest for sale at the game they depict only.
- Send Bob McElligot back to Pittsburgh.

 

[jstewismybastardson]

If any of u guys want to send me your money (sorry comeds i dont take paypal )i will drive to bellingham and buy tickets for you. Youll end up with more. And ill do it for cheap too ... Maybe 50 shmill

How a Canadian Powerball winner could pocket more money than an American

 

[esls79]

Vegas baby, what if my team technically doesn't exist yet?

Another option - Playboy Mansion is on the market starting at $200 million but it's not worth nowhere near that much. Can be had for much less.

Things I would do (bribe the commish for) on my first day:

petition to get Detroit and Columbus to move between conferences each season
petition to go back to one ref and two linesmen
Scrap anything all star weekend and have an all star caribbean cruise complete with all star poker tournament with all stars battling Kid Poker
force SN to give up HNIC and reassign on air talent as need be

Then it's lunch time...

/also, at my first BOG meeting I see Jeremy Jacobs and kick him square in the nuts

 

[RangersReds03]

(blatantly stolen)

So, you win. And you buy your team (or as much of your team's value as you can with the winnings - you are Majority Owner).

Wouldn't be enough, and I think I'd have to buy the Knicks too and I don't want them.

 

[higgyfan4]

Vegas baby, what if my team technically doesn't exist yet?

Another option - Playboy Mansion is on the market starting at $200 million but it's not worth nowhere near that much. Can be had for much less.

Things I would do (bribe the commish for) on my first day:

petition to get Detroit and Columbus to move between conferences each season
petition to go back to one ref and two linesmen
Scrap anything all star weekend and have an all star caribbean cruise complete with all star poker tournament with all stars battling Kid Poker
force SN to give up HNIC and reassign on air talent as need be

Then it's lunch time...

/also, at my first BOG meeting I see Jeremy Jacobs and kick him square in the nuts

Sorry but I already promised my son when I win I'd buy it for him...

 

[higgyfan4]

Cheer up esls, you may not be able to buy the Playboy Mansion, but luckily I found ya another house you can buy...

Couple struggles to sell 'Silence of the Lambs' house

You're welcome

 

[dash]

The Flames don't need my help, so I would first contact David Silver and get him to agree to move a NBA team to Seattle. Next I would contact Chris Hansen and invest in a new arena in the SoDo district of Seattle. Finally, I would buy pix and higgy fur coats.

/But not real fur coats, that's cruel.

 

[Comeds]

If any of u guys want to send me your money (sorry comeds i dont take paypal )i will drive to bellingham and buy tickets for you. Youll end up with more. And ill do it for cheap too ... Maybe 50 shmill

How a Canadian Powerball winner could pocket more money than an American

Do you take Flooz ?

I never play any lotteries but people at work have pooled their money and I have participated in that. Not that I think we will win, just because if I say no and keep my $6 and they all win millions - I'd probably never sleep well again.

 

[DragonfromTO]

Do you take Flooz ?

I never play any lotteries but people at work have pooled their money and I have participated in that. Not that I think we will win, just because if I say no and keep my $6 and they all win millions - I'd probably never sleep well again.

I'd have trouble sleeping too after murdering that many people I think. But I bet if you got a friendly cellmate he'd make you feel better about it.

 

[DragonfromTO]

Do you take Flooz ?

I never play any lotteries but people at work have pooled their money and I have participated in that. Not that I think we will win, just because if I say no and keep my $6 and they all win millions - I'd probably never sleep well again.

Not since I saw that special on the six o'clock news about how it's making teenagers behead their families as they engage in bestiality while covered in the blood of small children. I think all of this happens at rainbow parties.

 

[davnlaguna]

Do you take Flooz ?

I never play any lotteries but people at work have pooled their money and I have participated in that. Not that I think we will win, just because if I say no and keep my $6 and they all win millions - I'd probably never sleep well again.

my dad didn't go in with his work buddies. They won 17 million
there were over 30 people and it is paid out over 28 years.
they were all putting in notices and teasing my dad
Then they did the math. it worked out to 15 thousand a year before taxes.
nothing to sneeze at, but not enough to quit
oh they still teased him when the checks in every year but most of them were still working when he retired.

 

[BGDave]

If any of u guys want to send me your money (sorry comeds i dont take paypal )i will drive to bellingham and buy tickets for you. Youll end up with more. And ill do it for cheap too ... Maybe 50 shmill

How a Canadian Powerball winner could pocket more money than an American

Variation

When I win, I will need a cooperative Canuck to cash the ticket for me. Tax Difference is approx 120m, so I will give someone 50 mil for their troubles. Any takers?

 

[jstewismybastardson]

Variation

When I win, I will need a cooperative Canuck to cash the ticket for me. Tax Difference is approx 120m, so I will give someone 50 mil for their troubles. Any takers?

Umm yah ... I will offer this service as well ... i can cash the ticket in wash st which has no state income tax

you can fedex the ticket to me if you have the winning ticket

 

[BGDave]

Umm yah ... I will offer this service as well ... i can cash the ticket in wash st which has no state income tax

you can fedex the ticket to me if you have the winning ticket

Call me crazy, but I trust ya . Will send you the tracking number Thursday

 

[forty_three]

petition to get Detroit and Columbus to move between conferences each season

*shakes fist*

 

[BigKen]

In Derry, NH someone put out a laundry basket and asked people to place cash in an envelope with their name on it. All of the cash would be used to buy Powerball tickets and everyone who put in money would get an equal piece. If my neighbor put $1 in the pile and I put $100 in the pile, shouldn't I get 100 times more than him?

Anyway, they collected about $500 and didn't win the $900M.

When I win on Wednesday, I'm going to give each one of my kids, inlaws and siblings $40M. That will leave me about $350M to survive on.

I plan to buy a large storage building and convert into a sports zone with 8-10 basketball courts, 2 indoor football fields, an indoor Lacross and soccer field, a personal training area and baseball pitching and batting area. Kids came in and play for free, teams can rent areas at minimal cost.

I also plan to build a 100 two room apartment complex for US Combat Veterans where they can go to live and die with honor at no cost.

I'm going to buy myself a new Ford F150 4x4 for $53,000.

 

[jstewismybastardson]

if one of you wins powerball you gotta try these, no?

 

[BGDave]

When I win, the only change I will make is to buy Center Ice and NHL Gamecenter Live.

Correction: screw that, I refuse to line the Buttgoblin's pockets any further.


Seriously, where I am moving to, there will be no hockey within 2000 miles. So I will get a decent satellite.

 

[Comeds]

if one of you wins powerball you gotta try these, no?

Try? That will probably be a staple of my new diet. I wonder if they make solid gold Cheerios...

 

[jstewismybastardson]

Try? That will probably be a staple of my new diet. I wonder if they make solid gold Cheerios...

Im on to you now comeds ... i bet with your winnings you'll also hire a staff of attractive lady friends to "pan for gold" after you eat