OT: Need psych warfare help

[forty_three]

So there's this embittered old fuck who lives across the street from me. By trade, he's a political lobbyist and completely anti-social. He's your classic curmudgeon. And probably bitter that all the money he raised didn't get the darkie out of office. But that's beside the point.

He had some neighborhood kids do all his yardwork for him. Both of them have gone off to college, so his yard work is falling behind. Two weeks ago, me, the neighbors on either side of me and the people on either side of him (across the street from me) all cleaned up our leaves. He didn't. So last week we had crazy winds and the majority of HIS leaves wound up in all of our yards. He went to Home Depot on Saturday and got a truckload of Mexicans and had his yard cleaned up. Which was pretty easy.

2 Weeks ago, I spent 3 hours and 7 bags to clean up my leaves. Yesterday, I spent another 1.5 hours and 5 more bags. My next door neighbor was joking that we should all blow our leaves back where they started. But we didn't.

So after the leaves, I gave my daughter's car an oil change and changed the headlights and parked it our on the street. The wrong way, apparently. So he CALLED THE POLICE and we got a parking ticket in front of our own house.



So, I am looking for fun psychological warfare ideas. My next door neighbor is going to adorn his front yard with a bunch of inflatable lawn statuary and animated xmas lights on the night of his annual holiday fundraising event (he is currently searching for Ramadan and Kwanzaa lights). And I, of course will call the police on ANY car that is parked the wrong way.

What else we got? Help a brother out.

 

[mattola]

wars with neighbours never a good idea.

worst thing I have ever done was after I got to know how much of a racist my neighbour across the street was I came back from a business trip from India where I had bought a casual indian Suit and some hindi music. I decided to crank the music when he was out working on his garden and I wore the suit while I trimmed by verge. you could tell he had that WTF look on his face the whole time.

 

[DevilishWon]

So there's this embittered old fuck who lives across the street from me. By trade, he's a political lobbyist and completely anti-social. He's your classic curmudgeon. And probably bitter that all the money he raised didn't get the darkie out of office. But that's beside the point.

He had some neighborhood kids do all his yardwork for him. Both of them have gone off to college, so his yard work is falling behind. Two weeks ago, me, the neighbors on either side of me and the people on either side of him (across the street from me) all cleaned up our leaves. He didn't. So last week we had crazy winds and the majority of HIS leaves wound up in all of our yards. He went to Home Depot on Saturday and got a truckload of Mexicans and had his yard cleaned up. Which was pretty easy.

2 Weeks ago, I spent 3 hours and 7 bags to clean up my leaves. Yesterday, I spent another 1.5 hours and 5 more bags. My next door neighbor was joking that we should all blow our leaves back where they started. But we didn't.

So after the leaves, I gave my daughter's car an oil change and changed the headlights and parked it our on the street. The wrong way, apparently. So he CALLED THE POLICE and we got a parking ticket in front of our own house.



So, I am looking for fun psychological warfare ideas. My next door neighbor is going to adorn his front yard with a bunch of inflatable lawn statuary and animated xmas lights on the night of his annual holiday fundraising event (he is currently searching for Ramadan and Kwanzaa lights). And I, of course will call the police on ANY car that is parked the wrong way.

What else we got? Help a brother out.

Burning bag of shit/doorbell ring no good?

 

[sbb122]

If you can pull it off stick a dead fish under his car seat.

 

[mattola]

If you can pull it off stick a dead fish under his car seat.

 

[sbb122]

Cover his lawn, front porch and back porch with bread crumbs. Fucking birds will be all over his place.

 

[dash]

Banana in the tail pipe?

[youtube]6y-pdLyZPJ8[/youtube]

 

[mattola]

Banana in the tail pipe?

[youtube]6y-pdLyZPJ8[/youtube]

is that a wayans brother that gives the bananas to axel?

holy crap thats old.

 

[filosofy29]

Put a pro-Obama bumper sticker on his car.
Go over to his house and ring the door. When he answers, say that you want him to sign a petition to get "some asshole who doesnt take care of his yard" out of the neighborhood. Then hand him a fake petition with some signatures on it and his name at the top. Look over at his address and say " oh my God.....awkward.....good day sir!"

 

[dash]

Put a pro-Obama bumper sticker on his car.
Go over to his house and ring the door. When he answers, say that you want him to sign a petition to get "some asshole who doesnt take care of his yard" out of the neighborhood. Then hand him a fake petition with some signatures and his name at the top.

Now that is psych warfare we can all believe in...

 

[Eddie_Shack]

Have you considered shutting off his gas main and locking him in his house so he slowly freezes to death over the winter?

 

[dash]

Have you considered shutting off his gas main and locking him in his house so he slowly freezes to death over the winter?

Now I know very little about American law, but I think that could get a guy in considerable hot water...

 

[Eddie_Shack]

Now I know very little about American law, but I think that could get a guy in considerable hot water...

Nobody ever likes my ideas.

 

[dash]

Nobody ever likes my ideas.

Au contraire, it's an excellent idea, I think the plan is to avoid jail time though...

/or maybe not, what do I know?

 

[filosofy29]

Nobody ever likes my ideas.

Nobody = perfect
God = perfect
God = likes your idea.

43, you heard God.....kill your neighbor.

(My lawyer Brian Burke says to type that you really shouldn't kill your neighbor)

 

[forty_three]

wars with neighbours never a good idea.

I have never been accused of thinking things through.

Put a pro-Obama bumper sticker on his car.

I have considered hiring someone to act as a Secret Service agent interviewing neighbors because my old "school buddy" Barack Obama will be coming by, coincidentally on the same night as his annual holiday party, for dinner with the family.

Then get my buddy Darren (who calls himself "Generic Black Guy") to come over in a black SUV and a suit. No way he'd identify the difference.

But that might push him too far over the edge.

Have you considered shutting off his gas main and locking him in his house so he slowly freezes to death over the winter?

The downside there would be the terrible smell come spring.

 

[Eddie_Shack]

43, do you remember that scene in Home Alone where Kevin fakes a big Christmas party using a model train, a Michael Jordan Fathead cutout, and some kite string? I think you should have a big loud silhouette orgy.

 

[forty_three]

43, do you remember that scene in Home Alone where Kevin fakes a big Christmas party using a model train, a Michael Jordan Fathead cutout, and some kite string? I think you should have a big loud silhouette orgy.

I agree, but what's the Home alone "faking it" thing have to do with it?

 

[filosofy29]

I agree, but what's the Home alone "faking it" thing have to do with it?

Female orgasms are a myth bro.






















I'm kidding ladies, so off. (I'm just a terrible lover)

BTW, one of my favorite quotes ever (I believe from Satchel Paige) [paraphrased]: My two favorite things in the world are fishing and making love. You can be lousy at both and still have yourself a good time.

 

[Eddie_Shack]

I agree, but what's the Home alone "faking it" thing have to do with it?

It's just funnier if the cops come and check out the house, and you throw all the cutouts in the fire places and it looks like you are home alone. Then neighbor man gets committed.

Or you could just have the real orgy. I don't know how it would affect the neighbor, but you would still have an orgy.