OT: Holy Crap Movies Mattman

[mattola]

so I watched 2 of the worst fucking movies I have seen in a while in the last 2 days

Monsters - Six years after Earth has suffered an alien invasion a cynical journalist agrees to escort a shaken American tourist through an infected zone in Mexico to the safety of the US border.

- this movie was utter crap. just fucking boring and slow.

and

Immortals - Theseus is a mortal man chosen by Zeus to lead the fight against the ruthless King Hyperion, who is on a rampage across Greece to obtain a weapon that can destroy humanity

- ugh fuck. holy shitball. while some of the fighting was good and its always fun when gods smash humans this movie felt like it was made on a $50,000 budget my god the holes in the movie were massive. and the plotline above? that weapon they talked about. fuck me they used it 4 times and then Zeus destroyed it. and that rampage from Hyperion? fuck they showed like 3 places he went and there was only one small battle. they only good part was how Hyperion dispatched of his enemies, he was pretty ruthless. (credit to Mickey Rourke in that )

it was pathetic how weak they brought this all together. they wanted that 300 feel to it but got none of it. only good part was that I could see why Henry Cavill was chosen as the next Superman. he was good for his part. but fuck this was a train wreck.

 

[dash]

Any nudity?

 

[mattola]

Any nudity?

one fucking shot of a nice ass from the lead chick. a soft boob shot only as well. thats pretty much it.

 

[jstewismybastardson]

so I watched 2 of the worst fucking movies I have seen in a while in the last 2 days

Monsters - Six years after Earth has suffered an alien invasion a cynical journalist agrees to escort a shaken American tourist through an infected zone in Mexico to the safety of the US border.

- this movie was utter crap. just fucking boring and slow.

Any nudity?

truth ... watched that one on fast forward (and I missed the tit ... damn ) ... deleted immediately from pvr ... no crescendo ... never really any danger ... was it a sci-fi movie aimed at women? because it seemed like they were dealing more with the romantic angle

 

[mattola]

truth ... watched that one on fast forward (and I missed the tit ... damn ) ... deleted immediately from pvr ... no crescendo ... never really any danger ... was it a sci-fi movie aimed at women? because it seemed like they were dealing more with the romantic angle

ive this REALLY bad habit of watching through every movie I start even the worst of the worst I think I have turned off a handfull of movies with the holy fuck not even I can do that. Im so bad my wife said in her wedding speech "I look forward to a lifetime of bad movies with you"

that kind of movie drives me fucking insane.

ok your trying to get home. the aliens want to devour you. you hook up with some mexican army guys and they are quiet at first as they are used to being around the aliens then all of a sudden you are in a night camp with fucking lights everywhere not even trying to be quiet and everytime the army dudes tell you to shut up you get louder because you demand to know whats going on.

cant you fucking hear the aliens coming? shut the fuck up you idiot.

that fucking boat scene with the jet in the river was teh dumbest fucking example of why this movie sucked so much swamp ass that it would make Paris Hilton classy.

holy fuck brutal OMG OMG the boat has broken down and we hear an alien close.... lets fucking shine the lights which attract the aliens all over to see it.... OMG it just ate a fucking Jet..... fuck lets flash more lights.......... fuck

 

[SLY]

I want to watch it just to see if it is as bad as you claim.

 

[puckhead]

good timing - I've got Immortals on in the background as we speak.
it really hasn't captured my attention.

except for this chick. so very pretty.

I've seen Monsters, but don't remember a thing about it.
that's probably not a good sign

 

[mattola]

one ass shot. one far away boob shot.

good timing - I've got Immortals on in the background as we speak.
it really hasn't captured my attention.

except for this chick. so very pretty.

 

[puckhead]

one ass shot. one far away boob shot.

I can appreciate a face too, you know.

 

[mattola]

I can appreciate a face too, you know.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jK0LXwYqX...T4/s1600/233242648_Immortals002_123_378lo.jpg

face that. I saved you 1 hr 53 mins.

 

[Comeds]

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jK0LXwYqX...T4/s1600/233242648_Immortals002_123_378lo.jpg

face that. I saved you 1 hr 53 mins.

You know I wasnt happy with you because I have a stupid song about a pug who cannot run stuck in my head, but just like that you are back on my good side.

 

[Nasty_Magician]

Whatever you do, do not watch Abe Lincoln Vampire Hunter. I enjoyed the book immensely and figured even if it was bad I would enjoy the movie. I was very, very wrong. Not even close to the book. It had Abe Lincoln and vampires, that's where the similarities end. Acting, script, special effects, all beyond terrible and not in the Evil Dead, B-Movie type of way.

 

[mattola]

You know I wasnt happy with you because I have a stupid song about a pug who cannot run stuck in my head, but just like that you are back on my good side.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHa...

 

[mattola]

Gene Wilder in Funny About Love was a movie I wallked out on... thank god Goodfellas was playing next door and the theatre attendee had a kind heart. I was able to see that instead.... he felt bad that someone sold me that ticket without a warning of how bad it was

 

[mattola]

Whatever you do, do not watch Abe Lincoln Vampire Hunter. I enjoyed the book immensely and figured even if it was bad I would enjoy the movie. I was very, very wrong. Not even close to the book. It had Abe Lincoln and vampires, that's where the similarities end. Acting, script, special effects, all beyond terrible and not in the Evil Dead, B-Movie type of way.

ah fuck. the problem is that I will probably give it a try when its free. this is the kinda pain I look for. it makes other movies that much better sometimes.

 

[puckhead]

the only movie I can remember turning off was 'Stir of Echoes'
a Kevin bacon ghost thing, that was just fucking painfully bad for the first 20 min or so.
I saw it on a plane, back when you had one choice of movies. I chose to listen to crying toddlers instead.

 

[mattola]

the only movie I can remember turning off was 'Stir of Echoes'
a Kevin bacon ghost thing, that was just fucking painfully bad for the first 20 min or so.
I saw it on a plane, back when you had one choice of movies. I chose to listen to crying toddlers instead.

ah yes. the kid in the brick wall one.. I sat through that

 

[Nasty_Magician]

the only movie I can remember turning off was 'Stir of Echoes'
a Kevin bacon ghost thing, that was just fucking painfully bad for the first 20 min or so.
I saw it on a plane, back when you had one choice of movies. I chose to listen to crying toddlers instead.

At least it had Kevin Bacon and a good soundtrack. A movie I thought had potential and just unraveled quickly was 1408. I'm not a John Cusak fan but the first 20 mins or so of that movie were genuinely creepy. Alone in the room, radio going on after he unplugs it, phone ringing etc. Then it did the typical Hollywood thing and went way over the top.

 

[Comeds]

I tried and could not watch Robots on a plane. When at home the last two movies I remember turning off were John Cusack movies - War Inc and The Contract. I should have turned off Hesher.

 

[DaBoltsNIsles]

Immortals was okay. I was disappointed the Bow wasn't used more. The special effects could have been better as well.


A movie I saw a couple of weeks ago that I hadn't seen in awhile was Baby's Day Out. This movie is actually very funny. If you haven't seen it give it a chance.