Indiana Jones 5: Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023)

[Stakesarehigh]

Indy falls down a flight of stairs and his life alert button didn't work

The end

Haha. I don't even remember making this comment..

Was I right?

 

[juliansteed]

I swore I saw the cockpit of the Milleniun Falcon at about 1:08. I had to play it back with the speed slowed down to make sure I was wrong.

 

[juliansteed]

I've saw rumors that there are a few potential endings but that one of them is really REALLY bad. I think most people can accept Indy dying a heroic death in this movie and that maybe he'll pass the mantle off. After Indy 4 it looked like it might be Mutt taking over the franchise which very few (if anyone) wanted. Now it appears they might try it with Brody's grand-daughter which I'm sure will have mixed reactions. But it's how they do it in one of the possible endings that would just be awful beyond belief.

 

[DarthVedder]

I've saw rumors that there are a few potential endings but that one of them is really REALLY bad. I think most people can accept Indy dying a heroic death in this movie and that maybe he'll pass the mantle off. After Indy 4 it looked like it might be Mutt taking over the franchise which very few (if anyone) wanted. Now it appears they might try it with Brody's grand-daughter which I'm sure will have mixed reactions. But it's how they do it in one of the possible endings that would just be awful beyond belief.

She was great in the past, but Kathleen Kennedy's tenure at Disney has been a disaster, and it's rumored that she will be fired after Indy 5's release.

Disney overall are struggling (even their Marvel properties), but it's unreal how they have destroyed their Lucas Films properties. Star Wars used to be the biggest franchise in the world, and now they can't even get films done.

 

[foster4prez]

The trailer for this looks miles better than that Crystal Skulls bullshit.

I've got high hopes.

 

[redseat]

Does what's her name (German soldier chick) who dies because she moves the cup over the crest come back to life as well?

She was hot S7It back in the day!

 

[RoosterSideburns]

Does what's her name (German soldier chick) who dies because she moves the cup over the crest come back to life as well?

She was hot S7It back in the day!

Yeah, if it is going to be the last one, they should bring her back and branch into soft ****. Maybe line a bunch of hot chicks around the dial of destiny and have Indy spin the bottle.

 

[lilchi721]

Who is the bad guy in this film?

 

[Sharkonabicycle]

But is Shy The Buff in it?

From what I've heard it's his granddaughter or some whoman that is his sidekick because Disney needs the STRONG POWERFUL female now in every one of their movies. I'm sure she'll make witty/sassy remarks to Indy while beating up everything that is in her way and saving Indy multiple times. and then it will end with a zoom in on her face or something after she saves the day ending with the music theme.

 

[Schmoopy1000]

From what I've heard it's his granddaughter or some whoman that is his sidekick because Disney needs the STRONG POWERFUL female now in every one of their movies. I'm sure she'll make witty/sassy remarks to Indy while beating up everything that is in her way and saving Indy multiple times. and then it will end with a zoom in on her face or something after she saves the day ending with the music theme.

great!
Now I dont need to watch the movie.

You could have at least used the spoiler tag!

 

[returnofjakedog]

From what I've heard it's his granddaughter or some whoman that is his sidekick because Disney needs the STRONG POWERFUL female now in every one of their movies. I'm sure she'll make witty/sassy remarks to Indy while beating up everything that is in her way and saving Indy multiple times. and then it will end with a zoom in on her face or something after she saves the day ending with the music theme.

Regardless, it would probably still be better than that Crystal Skull shit. The cgi monkey scene crap might be the worst shit I've ever seen in a big budget movie!

They should have just let it be after Last Crusade.

 

[Sharkonabicycle]

Regardless, it would probably still be better than that Crystal Skull shit. The cgi monkey scene crap might be the worst shit I've ever seen in a big budget movie!

They should have just let it be after Last Crusade.

Eh I doubt that. I know Kingdom Skull had it's moments... the fridge, the monkeys, the aliens... okay, I get it. But overall the story was kind of interesting and had some decent fun to it. Sure you can't survive in a fridge in a nuke or falling off a cliff on a car boat and hitting every branch - it's a fuckin' movie. You ALSO can't survive flying off a plane, let alone cliff on an inflatable raft, flying off a cliff on a tank (at least some scientists acknowledged while HIGHLY unlikely, there's SOME possibilities to the fridge scene), or jumping a mine cart 30 feet to another track.... As for Mutt's stupid scene... you're going to tell me that ridiculous job by Sean Connery going 'tuck tuck toock toock' to the birds was any less stupid? LOL, please.

South Park made a pretty good mockery of Harrison getting sexually assaulted (via The Accused and Deliverance movies lol) by Spielberg and Lucas, but it also mocked the audience for ignoring the entirety of the rest of the movie (which had some good moments) and just cherry picking the 2-3 bad things in it and saying, "THE MOVIE SUCKED OMG THE MONKEY AND FRIDGE OMOGMOFMFMOMFFFF" like that's all they released. The backlash was ridiculous.

As for the Aliens... kidding me? They did a whole fuckin' documentary for like 3 months leading up to the movie on the crystal skull... I think Dan Akroyd even chimed in and released a crystal skull vodka or something. The movie even addressed people crying like babies: "BUT.. but... Indiana Jones movies are all about religion." Responded literally in the movie with: "God's head does not look like that." "Depends who your God is." Like WTF were people expecting?

The one thing I didn't have to deal with in the movie is the PC/SJW shit that Disney is now known for which I'm sure will be 100% shoved into this one... and then TIME travel.. UGHHHHH. Time travel worked for like ONE movie, Back to the Future - which took itself not seriously at all. The rest of it is generally beyond stupid and never makes sense, and it will likely flop here as well... as they shove old scenes of Indy in with CGI'd bullshit.. before they TRY and pass the torch to the STRONG FEMALE CHARACTER (who everyone will probably hate and Disney will 'shame us')... yawn. No interest in seeing this until I literally can't find anything to watch on TV and I'm drunk.

 

[returnofjakedog]

Eh I doubt that. I know Kingdom Skull had it's moments... the fridge, the monkeys, the aliens... okay, I get it. But overall the story was kind of interesting and had some decent fun to it. Sure you can't survive in a fridge in a nuke or falling off a cliff on a car boat and hitting every branch - it's a fuckin' movie. You ALSO can't survive flying off a plane, let alone cliff on an inflatable raft, flying off a cliff on a tank (at least some scientists acknowledged while HIGHLY unlikely, there's SOME possibilities to the fridge scene), or jumping a mine cart 30 feet to another track.... As for Mutt's stupid scene... you're going to tell me that ridiculous job by Sean Connery going 'tuck tuck toock toock' to the birds was any less stupid? LOL, please.

South Park made a pretty good mockery of Harrison getting sexually assaulted (via The Accused and Deliverance movies lol) by Spielberg and Lucas, but it also mocked the audience for ignoring the entirety of the rest of the movie (which had some good moments) and just cherry picking the 2-3 bad things in it and saying, "THE MOVIE SUCKED OMG THE MONKEY AND FRIDGE OMOGMOFMFMOMFFFF" like that's all they released. The backlash was ridiculous.

As for the Aliens... kidding me? They did a whole fuckin' documentary for like 3 months leading up to the movie on the crystal skull... I think Dan Akroyd even chimed in and released a crystal skull vodka or something. The movie even addressed people crying like babies: "BUT.. but... Indiana Jones movies are all about religion." Responded literally in the movie with: "God's head does not look like that." "Depends who your God is." Like WTF were people expecting?

The one thing I didn't have to deal with in the movie is the PC/SJW shit that Disney is now known for which I'm sure will be 100% shoved into this one... and then TIME travel.. UGHHHHH. Time travel worked for like ONE movie, Back to the Future - which took itself not seriously at all. The rest of it is generally beyond stupid and never makes sense, and it will likely flop here as well... as they shove old scenes of Indy in with CGI'd bullshit.. before they TRY and pass the torch to the STRONG FEMALE CHARACTER (who everyone will probably hate and Disney will 'shame us')... yawn. No interest in seeing this until I literally can't find anything to watch on TV and I'm drunk.

Fair enough.

However, I personally disagree on the Crystal Skull being at all good. To me, the vast majority of it felt contrived and forced, and annoyed me at every turn.
Beyond that, I would despise ANY movie with that fucking absolutely horrible cgi vine-swinging monkey scene! I fucking hate it with the white-hot intensity of a thousand burning suns! Words cannot express how bad I think it is. I also thought Mutt Williams was a bad character and I wished hot death on him every moment he was on screen.

Here is a video of how the concepts for Crystal Skull came about and the movie came to fruition. Basically it is George Lucas forcing bad ideas on everyone, and Spielberg folding at every turn because he really just didn't give a shit (I cannot emphasize this last point enough. Spielberg just did not care at all). Just letting Lucas do what he wants has been a problem for everything he is involved in since after The Empire Strikes Back.

Regardless, I have no expectations of the new one being any good, but I doubt it will be worse than Crystal Skull. It might be just as bad, but not worse imo.

I guess we will see!

 

[Sharkonabicycle]

Fair enough.

However, I personally disagree on the Crystal Skull being at all good. To me, the vast majority of it felt contrived and forced, and annoyed me at every turn.
Beyond that, I would despise ANY movie with that fucking absolutely horrible cgi vine-swinging monkey scene! I fucking hate it with the white-hot intensity of a thousand burning suns! Words cannot express how bad I think it is. I also thought Mutt Williams was a bad character and I wished hot death on him every moment he was on screen.

Here is a video of how the concepts for Crystal Skull came about and the movie came to fruition. Basically it is George Lucas forcing bad ideas on everyone, and Spielberg folding at every turn because he really just didn't give a shit (I cannot emphasize this last point enough. Spielberg just did not care at all). Just letting Lucas do what he wants has been a problem for everything he is involved in since after The Empire Strikes Back.

Regardless, I have no expectations of the new one being any good, but I doubt it will be worse than Crystal Skull. It might be just as bad, but not worse imo.

I guess we will see!

Oh let's be clear here... it was not an amazing movie. I've watched it like once and put it on another time while I was doing some dishes/working out because nothing else was on (think my family put it on once too and I watched part of it). It's not Raiders, Crusade, or even Temple. It's easily the worst of the 4. That said, the hate the film got was a little ridiculous. Yah there was the absolutely stupid moments (and yes the monkeys was #1) but at least I didn't have to suffer through PC/SJW bullshit that I know will 100% be shoved in the 5th film thanks to Kathleen 'Palpatine' Kennedy.

Another thing, at least the movie didn't bastardize the original films. It tried to introduce a new character (Mutt, which yah didn't really work) and didn't piss all over Marion or Indy's character. It at least stood alone and kept subtle references to the older movies.

You watch, this new one is going to fuck with the past films and history with the stupid time travel crap, shove PC/SJW crap all over it with the female lead, and fuck around with old Indy thanks to the CGI they are already planning to use on him. UGH. Knock it the fuck off Disney. And again, when has time travel in movies ever been a good thing for something like Indiana Jones? It was even stupid in the Avengers with plot holes and inconsistencies all over it - ESPECIALLY in an already established series. It raises questions that never get answered, it fucks with the previous installments, it lessens the impacts of previous deaths, etc. You fuckin' watch... YOU FUCKIN' watch, they'll throw a CGI Sean Connery in there at some point! Sean will make some cheeseball couple one liners, hug his now old son so we can get on screen 'closure' when Kingdom handled it perfectly fuckin' fine. And then the Disneyfied morons of the world will cheer and rejoice and cry at how special it was. Get the fuck outta here.

I knew that Crystal Skull would not be anywhere near as good as the others but still watched it. Yah it had it's stupid moments and I was like, "Eh... not that great." This new one? Yah no. HARD pass. Given that it's in the hand of Mr. Mouse and Kennedy? It'll be absolute trash.

Oh, and guess what, there's already a rumor of an Indiana Jones TV series. Well Harrison has said he's done after this one, so who's gonna lead that? OOOOOH our new female star of COURSE with a CGI'd Indiana from time to time. BARF. This has Obi Wan written all over it. Say it's all about Obi Wan when it's really about the new vagina taking over.

Mind you I have no problem with women in film (hell my two favorite Sci-Fi series (1-2 in the series anyway) are led by women - Weaver and Hamilton). It's more about how Disney throws em' in there with no real character arc, backstory, etc. and they just kickass and do everything perfectly with zero flaws, man shame, while stampeding through whatever challenge and farting rainbows. And everyone is like, "YOU GO GIRL OMG YOU'RE AWESOME, WOMEN ARE STRONG AND POWERFUL SEE MEEEEEN!?"

 

[Sharkonabicycle]

Oh, I also read it's supposed to be about a space race or something? So yah, that stupid Millennium Falcon shit everyone saw? Yah... you saw it correctly. That's probably Indy in space. What exactly the fuck does that have to do with archaeology? Let me guess, the US recruits a former Nazi to help build a special spaceship to beat the Russians to space. But Indy is weary and finds out that the ex-Nazi guy (who is the enemy naturally) convinces NASA (stupid arrogant dumb white men) to locate and build the dial of destiny, a time travel device so he can go back in time and warn Hitler of the events that transpire! And Indy finds out but "YOU'RE TOO LATE, JONES...." and the dial is activated... and somehow Indy and his god daughter gets sucked in and then he must go warn the younger Indy so the CGI can have their fanfare... and then Hitler is like, "We must reach space first to achieve the ultimate weaponry to stop the US in WW2... use the dial to go INTO THE FUTURE to research space technology." And then Indy and the scary mean Nazi guy will get sucked forward in time where they are on futuristic space ships trying to steal weaponry and go from place to place in the Millinnium Falcon 2.0 which NATURALLY our new female lead will be PERFECT at piloting (complete with a "Stand aside gramps" liner)... and then they will have some final standoff with the bad guy, just as Indy is ready to die... the new 'Jones' female kills him and Indy says some cheeseball one liner... and she puts on the hat. *QUEUE MUSIC* while everyone in the audience is snoring

 

[Sharkonabicycle]

Wait edit to that last part, after killing the bad guy - and the new female Jones wont kill him, she'll put him in a position to kill himself so she doesn't murder anyone but saves the day:

They'll go home, and she'll say, "This is too powerful Indy... we must destroy it." And he'll say, "Wait... I just need to use it for one more thing." And then it'll cut to him walking up to his Dad (Sean Connery in CGI form) and embracing him while his god daughter smiles in the background. 'Sean' will say, "Well done, son... Who is she?" And Indy will say something like, "My God daughter." And she'll hug Sean for some reason and Sean will ask, "Junior, what's next?" And he'll look back at Sean while the camera zooms in... "What's next? Ask her." and give the vagina the hat and she'll put it on and smile and *QUEUE MUSIC* while everyone in the audience is snoring...

 

[returnofjakedog]

Lol!

Everyone has their own perspectives
and to me the biggest sin is the boring and lazy aspects. I don't really care about them introducing new characters or changing form to fit new times and cultures if it is done well (admitably it rarely is).
That is why Crystal Skull is the bottom of the barrel imo, because it is lazy and repetitive. Spielberg just didn't give a shit anymore (it was only a money grab for him and Ford) and just let Lucas run with whatever stupid crap popped into his head with zero resistance. Lucas at least obviously cared but his ideas have been terrible for 40 years now.

Again, I have no expectations for this new one, and fully expect it to be bad. But I don't know if it can/will be worse than Crystal Skull, which I consider to be a lazy abomination. Maybe watching a digitally de-aged Indy for 90+ minutes will piss me off a lot? I don't know. I certainly won't be going out of my way to see it.

A large part of which made the original trilogy great, beyond the engrossing characters and fine storytelling (albeit Temple was questionable) was the brilliant practical special fxs and action. To me that is the pinnacle. We won't be getting that in today's version (cgi has it's time and place but filmmakers waaaaay over use it nowdays).

 

[DJ]

Seriously?

Is Indy in a motorized go cart? LOL.

 

[RoosterSideburns]

Seriously?

Is Indy in a motorized go cart? LOL.

I believe the technical term is “limited mobility scooter”

 

[DJ]

I believe the technical term is “limited mobility scooter”