FF 2016 Season - A Rock Opera

[averagejoe]

This is the first script. Although it has been modified.


The 2016 Fantasy Football Season
A Rock Opera



Act I

(Sometime after the NFL draft but before fantasy drafts.)​

Hope. Speculation. News.

Most everyone is attempting to target a solid player that is being under-valued.

Is it Dak Prescott? He's doing well in preseason.

Is it 29 year-old Jamaal Charles? Reports in August have him off the PUP list and is starting to practice, just in time for the third preseason game.

Fantasy talk seems to be split regarding Jordy Nelson’s ACL recovery too.

And what about the RB situation in Baltimore? Justin Forsett seems to be the heir apparent. But Terrance West and Kenneth Dixon have been rumored to start. Javorius “Buck” Allen filled in nicely in 2015. And Lorenzo Taliaferro was a 2014 preseason surprise. What? Ravens signed Trent Richardson?

Reports on who will start – as well as news on other players and teams - seems to change daily. You start to question the validity of the assertions and prognostications being made.

< queue the song Liar by the Sex Pistols >

Lie lie lie lie you liar
You lie lie lie, tell me why
Tell me why, why d'you have to lie
Should've realized that you
Should've told the truth
Should've realized you know what I'll do
You're in suspension you're a liar
Now I wanna know
Now I wanna know
Why you never look me in the face
Broke a confidence just to please your ego
Should've realized
You know what I know
You're in suspension
You're a liar​

​

You continue to rank and analyze players roles. Your anticipation for the draft - though weeks away - builds.

Editor’s Note: Quickly fade in The Waiting by the Tom Petty.​

Act II

(Draft night.)​

You’ve ranked and re-ranked players. You’ve checked for the latest injury updates. Maybe you’ve done several mock drafts from different draft positions? Draft night is the most exciting, most anticipated day of the year!

But unbeknown to the other owners, is the secret man-crush you have on a specific player. Or perhaps even several players. You hope that most or all of them fall to you.

When one of them does, you feel “dandy.”

< queue the medley I Want You by the Beatles and Bohemian Like You by the Dandy Warhols >

I want you
I want you so bad
I want you
I want you so bad
It's driving me mad
It's driving me mad

And I like you
Yeah I like you
And I like you, I like you, I like you
I like you, I like you, I like you
And I feel whoa, whoo!​

Editor’s Note 1: Was not sold on either song a standalone and decided to blend them. Unfortunately all of my hard work at mixing the two songs was impeded by copyright restrictions.

Editor’s Note 2: Quickly fade in You’re My Favorite Mistake by Sheryl Crow followed up by Won’t Get Fooled Again by The Who for anyone that drafted Josh Gordon.​

Act III

(Kickoff weekend.)​

The second-most exciting time of the fantasy season has finally arrived. Your team is set. All of your efforts and wisdom will now finally be put to the test.

We get a tease with the first game of the new season on Thursday night. But the excitement builds as the full slate of NFL games kicks off on Sunday.

Editor’s Note: Quickly fade in Loving You Sunday Morning by the Scoropions.​

< queue the song TV Party by Black Flag >

(2nd stanza)
We've got nothing better to do
Than watch T.V. and have a couple of brews
Don't talk about anything else
We don't wanna know!
We're dedicated
To our favorite shows!
(Saturday Night Live; MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL; Jeffersons)
I wouldn't be without my T.V. for a day
Or even a minute!
Don't even bother to use my brain anymore
There's nothing left in it!
We've got nothing better to do
Than watch T.V. and have a couple of brews.​

Act IV

(At a point somewhere around week 5 or 6 in the fantasy season.)
​

If you’re in a truly competitive league, reality is setting in. Your team may be doing well on the scoreboard, but unfortunately you may be losing some tough, close games. Instead of being undefeated, you’re flirting with a .500 record.

< queue the song Tightrope by Electric Light Orchestra >

They say some days you're gonna win,
They say some days you're gonna lose.
I tell you I got news for you
Your losin' all the time you never win
If you believe that's how it's gonna be I'd better put you down
Get off your tightrope up there come down on
The ground you gotta save me now
You better turn around.
When I looked around, I was heading down,
Won't somebody throw me down a line.​

​

Some of the matchups have not gone as planned. Some of the players you hoped would shine have disappointed.

Because of this tough decisions need to be made. Should I bench some big-name players who are under-performing in favor of the reserves? Should I pull the trigger on a waiver pick? Do I hit the “accept” button on that trade offer?

< queue the song Circumstances by Rush >

All the same we take our chances
Laughed at by time
Tricked by circumstances
Plus ca change
Plus c'est la meme chose
The more that things change
The more they stay the same​

​

 

[averagejoe]

Half Time

(What’s a Rock Opera about fantasy football without a half time intermission?)​

Act V

(We’re now at a point somewhere around week 9 or 10 in the fantasy season.)​

Almost every fantasy owner has experienced this. Your matchup for the weekend teeters on the brink of a loss unless the player (or players) you have going on Monday Night can pull out a victory.

Maybe you’ve had to make the risky move of plugging in someone from your bench or from the waiver wire to pull off what seem to be impossible odds for victory.

< queue the song You’re All I’ve Got Tonight by the Cars >

I don't care if you hurt me some more
I don't care if you even the score
You can knock me and I don't care
Well, you can mock me and I don't care
You can rock me just about anywhere
It's alright
'Cause you're all I've got tonight
You're all I've got tonight
You're all I've got tonight
I need you tonight
I need you tonight

​

Act VI

(At the tail end of the regular fantasy season. Prior to the fantasy playoffs.)​

The pressure to win is intense. For some it seems easy. Or lucky.

But for you it seems like a mystery.

< queue the song Mystery Achievement by the Pretenders >

Mystery achievement
Don't breathe down my neck no
I got no trophies on display
I sign them away
I mean what the heck
All of your promises
Don't fill me with pride no
I just wanna get out on the floor
And do the cuban slide, slide, slide, slide
But every day, every nighttime I find
Mystery achievement
You're on my mind
And every day, every nighttime I feel
Mystery achievement you're so unreal




Act VII

(Championship. End of Rock Opera.)​

Editor’s Note: There are lots of songs about winning. Naturally, Queen’s We Are the Champions comes to mind. Considered Santana’s aptly named song Winning. Was hoping that the lyrics in 3 Dog Night’s Celebrate would lend itself to fantasy football, but it was not to be. An alternative may be the standard wedding reception anthem of Kool & the Gang’s Celebrate. But all these songs failed to sell me on the climax which is to be the crescendo for a classic Rock Opera. So instead I opted to end on this.

Congratulations to all the league champions, the runner-ups, and every owner that makes fantasy football great!

< queue the entire song I Just Want to Celebrate by Rare Earth >


< roll credits >

@leftypower – Thanks for the unintentional inspiration for this.​

 

[Barilko]

Wow Joe

 

[TREFF]

Joe continues to put his name to shame, he's not average by any means whatsoever

 

[averagejoe]

Wow Joe

Joe continues to put his name to shame, he's not average by any means whatsoever

Thanks guys.
I don't know if you're just being gracious or not?
I tried to pick songs that also matched the mood of the event.
Finding songs with the right lyrics was a challenge.


Gotta say tho, my favorite is the Cars You're All I've Got Tonight for the hopeful Monday Night matchup. You can bet that I'll be humming that one on Mondays next season.


I also forgot to mention the typical "coach-speak" for ACT I. Quotes like "he's been the best player in camp" or "he's in the best shape of his life." Only to see minimal usage during the year. Lies.

 

[Chef99]

Wow, Joe. This is probably the most creative thing I've ever read on here. Very impressive.

 

[leftypower]

Wow, Joe. This is probably the most creative thing I've ever read on here. Very impressive.

Yes it most certainly is. .... kind of makes the 'Golden Mountain' saga pale in comparison. .... WELL DONE JOE !!!

 

[averagejoe]

kind of makes the 'Golden Mountain' saga pale in comparison.

Thanks. But nothing - and I mean NOTHING - will ever top the literary, Pulitzer worthy, genius that is The Golden Mountain Saga.