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CHICAGO, IL-- While fans from all over the country continue to doubt the Philadelphia Eagles as they embark on their second straight postseason run, their usually mild-mannered quarterback had a few statements to offer up on Sunday morning:
"You know, I wake up every fucking Sunday mornin' and I go to Church and I pray Psalms 23. Every fucking mornin'. You know what the fuck I said today at Church? I prayed Revelation 14:10-11. You know what that says? Fuck you, you cocksucker- that's what it says."
(The Inquirer researched the actual Biblical quote and found a different quote than the quote Foles claimed, and has reproduced it below)
Foles continued: "I'm tired of this fucking shit. Chicago -6? That's fucking insulting. So you know what, I'm putting out a million dollar hit on the Chicago Bears' defense- dead. And you know whose gonna collect that fucking bounty? I am you cocksucker."
Many were shocked at the typically soft-spoken quarterback's words. These people were reportedly told to go fuck themselves by Foles. The 29 year old quarterback and newly-ordained consigliere for the Sicilian Mafia reportedly walked out from the press conference with Johnny Cash's cover of "God's Gonna Cut You Down" playing overhead, when an explosion went off.
"Yeah, he just said fuck you, let's get this money boys, and walked off," said news reporter Dave Spadaro. "Then he's got 'God's Gonna Cut You Down' playing, and he presses a button, and the table he was sitting at explodes into flames behind him as he walks away!"
Police later found 22 pounds of dynamite under the table. They considered pressing charges against Foles, with 3 people dead and two more in the hospital, but concluded that the act was just too bad ass for them to get involved with.
"You know, I wake up every fucking Sunday mornin' and I go to Church and I pray Psalms 23. Every fucking mornin'. You know what the fuck I said today at Church? I prayed Revelation 14:10-11. You know what that says? Fuck you, you cocksucker- that's what it says."
(The Inquirer researched the actual Biblical quote and found a different quote than the quote Foles claimed, and has reproduced it below)
Foles continued: "I'm tired of this fucking shit. Chicago -6? That's fucking insulting. So you know what, I'm putting out a million dollar hit on the Chicago Bears' defense- dead. And you know whose gonna collect that fucking bounty? I am you cocksucker."
Many were shocked at the typically soft-spoken quarterback's words. These people were reportedly told to go fuck themselves by Foles. The 29 year old quarterback and newly-ordained consigliere for the Sicilian Mafia reportedly walked out from the press conference with Johnny Cash's cover of "God's Gonna Cut You Down" playing overhead, when an explosion went off.
"Yeah, he just said fuck you, let's get this money boys, and walked off," said news reporter Dave Spadaro. "Then he's got 'God's Gonna Cut You Down' playing, and he presses a button, and the table he was sitting at explodes into flames behind him as he walks away!"
Police later found 22 pounds of dynamite under the table. They considered pressing charges against Foles, with 3 people dead and two more in the hospital, but concluded that the act was just too bad ass for them to get involved with.
