Trolling the Telemarketers

[Tomhusker]

Anybody else do this? I keep getting calls from some "Resort" selling me a great vacation for great price. I usually play them for a long as I can just to fuck up their talk time. I've twice taken them all the way through their up sale, taking every option offered. I go get my credit card and start reading the number to them, only to hang up before the last digit.
I've committed suicide while talking to them. I've killed babies. Tortured animals. All with the help of sound affects.

Today, I tried something different.

Telemarketer : Hi, this is Rebecca, who am I speaking with?
Me: Hi Rebecca, what are you wearing?
Rabecca: What does that have to do with this?
Me: I'm Masturbating and am trying to build a picture of you.
Me: Rebecca?

She apparently was not interested in talking me through a self administered handy.

 

[ralphiewvu]

Great thread for a college football forum.

@romeo212000

 

[SJ76]

I ask them for their cell phone number and tell them I'll call them back. When they say no I tell them I'm in sales and understand. So I start trying to get sell them something. Basically take over the conversation and try to get their credit card number

 

[Tomhusker]

Great thread for a college football forum.

@romeo212000

Um.... Oops?

 

[romeo212000]

Great thread for a college football forum.

@romeo212000

Boomer!

 

[DJ]

I answer blocked calls like this:

"Hey, I've disposed of the body. I'll call when I get to Jamaica."

 

[Roy Munson]

My brother apparently has shitty credit.

So I get calls that start with.

them: "Hello, I'm so and so from whatever, I'm looking for Tim Munson"

me: "hey, you're in luck, he's here, let me go get him"

Then I put the phone on mute and set it down.

If I'm in a mood to be an asshole I'll fuck with them some more, but usually I just wait until they hang up.

 

[NU_FTW]

Anybody else do this? I keep getting calls from some "Resort" selling me a great vacation for great price. I usually play them for a long as I can just to fuck up their talk time. I've twice taken them all the way through their up sale, taking every option offered. I go get my credit card and start reading the number to them, only to hang up before the last digit.
I've committed suicide while talking to them. I've killed babies. Tortured animals. All with the help of sound affects.

Today, I tried something different.

Telemarketer : Hi, this is Rebecca, who am I speaking with?
Me: Hi Rebecca, what are you wearing?
Rabecca: What does that have to do with this?
Me: I'm Masturbating and am trying to build a picture of you.
Me: Rebecca?

She apparently was not interested in talking me through a self administered handy.

My dad taught me this long long ago in the days before caller ID

 

[ralphiewvu]

Um.... Oops?

No No, that was just for my entertainment.

I hate those fuckers but I just hang up.

 

[4down20]

I never answer them.

These days they all seem to use local numbers so that you'll think it's not a telemarketer. Well the thing is my work pays for my phone and I've had the same phone number for 15 years even though I don't live in that area anymore. Anyone I know from that area shows up and they are already programmed in there, so any time I see the 408 area code, I know it's a telemarketer.

 

[Tomhusker]

No No, that was just for my entertainment.

I hate those fuckers but I just hang up.

I usually do too. But this company calls me every week. You'd think they would keep notes and figure out who NOT to call.

 

[GoldRusher]

 

[tabascojet]

My brother apparently has shitty credit.

So I get calls that start with.

them: "Hello, I'm so and so from whatever, I'm looking for Tim Munson"

me: "hey, you're in luck, he's here, let me go get him"

Then I put the phone on mute and set it down.

If I'm in a mood to be an asshole I'll fuck with them some more, but usually I just wait until they hang up.

i had some assholes call me constantly trying to get in touch with my deadbeat next door neighbor years ago. "dont you know your neighbor?" "cant you give them a message to call us?" and then started talking shit to me like i was the one who owed them money. unbelievable.

 

[GoldRusher]

i had some assholes call me constantly trying to get in touch with my deadbeat next door neighbor years ago. "dont you know your neighbor?" "cant you give them a message to call us?" and then started talking shit to me like i was the one who owed them money. unbelievable.

Had one do the same thing to me for a family member. I told em I would, and that my fee was $40 per minute from the time I leave my house to do their job and I had to drive to TN from WV to tell him.... click, never called back.

 

[WizardHawk]

I like to interview them. Starts something like, hey I've always just been really curious, but what's it like to have a job so vile that literally everyone on earth fucking just hates you? Get a few quick hang ups, sometimes some cussing, but oddly some will really answer and go on.

 

[wings-pens2166]

Telemarketer : Hi, this is Rebecca, who am I speaking with?
Me: Hi Rebecca, what are you wearing?
Rabecca: What does that have to do with this?
Me: I'm Masturbating and am trying to build a picture of you.
Me: Rebecca?

She apparently was not interested in talking me through a self administered handy.

haha, I'm most definitely going to use that one.

actually I haven't received one in years it seems since I got rid of my landline and only went with a cell phone. However, my go-to move used to be to give them a moment or two to get started and then say that I'm really, really interested but I need just one minute to <insert something quick, but important to do> and can they wait just one moment. because they're excited by what they believe to be a potential sell, they are always willing to wait for just a few seconds. I'd then set the phone down and walk away until I'd hear that beeping tone when a phone is off the hook and hang it back up.

 

[NolePride]

I don't answer any number I don't know. Sometimes the Company name shows up
and I might answer that. My caller ID pops up on the TV, so it is easy to just ignore
it. Many times I'll pull them up later and check out the number on-line, but 99% of the
time it is some telemarketer or some number that has 20 complaints lodged against it.

 

[Deep Creek]

My brother in law used to keep an air horn handy and blow it off when the telemarketer started. He had to stop doing it out he blew out some shit in his SECOND phone. He's a slow learner as well as the biggest one of these alive.

 

[006]

I always try to slide a " I only do business with people who voted the same as I do, Who did you vote for president?" or a " I only do business with people who are the same religion as me, what religion are you?"

Make those bastards squirm.

 

[Nasty_Magician]

Not a telemarketer but years ago my cousin switched from Geico to a new insurance provider because the price was better. During the inevitable "try to save the client" phone call from Geico my cousin informed them "the Geico gecco came to me in a dream and told me to command the armies of Satan in a war against God, being the good Christian man that I am I can no longer associate with your company".

Stunned silence at the other and the phone and my cousin gave that guy a great story for the rest of his life.