My 138th Kentucky Derby Preview

[Comeds]

This is a huge sports weekend with the 138th Kentucky Derby. It's set to be a brackish track Saturday so that should favor the galloping mudders. Keep that in mind as you are making your wagers! Especially since this year a lot of people's future health care coverage may hinge on them correctly choosing a winner.

Here are some key things to look out for:

White people! Lots and lots of really really white people. Wait until you see the winners circle interview. It will be a small minority man surrounded by a sea of mint juleped white folks. You may be tempted to adjust the contrast on your TV.

Drama!

Larry David! Yes, America's sweetheart Larry David will be attending. Please bring J.B. Smoove. Please?

The ORM© says Irish War Cry is your winner. I say, I say it's going to be Classic Empire.

What to wear:

His Derby Style
The Kentucky Derby provides a splendid excuse for men to get just as dressed up and decked out as the ladies! The modern Derby man (me) possesses an unparalleled color palette. Sun-drenched, tropical colors in bold stripes or busy plaid and bright pastels steal the limelight. Although, if you want a more polished look, a classic navy or pinstripe blazer is always in style. But remember, gentlemen: The secret to looking great is confidence. Whatever you wear, wear it proud!

Her Derby Style
I don't know, something with lots of leg and cleavage.

I hope you enjoyed this preview and it enhances your enjoyment of the race. I'll be on sight covering the Preakness in a couple weeks. Fashion tip: Kevlar!

 

[DevilishWon]

Will you be wearing one of those big floppy southern belle hats comeds?

 

[dash]

I guess we don't have to worry about the Rangers - Senators game being preempted to show the run for the roses with the game airing on NBCSN.

 

[Comeds]

Will you be wearing one of those big floppy southern belle hats comeds?

I don't really have one for the Derby. For the Preakness I have one adorned with black eyed Susan's.Its majestic!

 

[DJ]

This is a huge sports weekend with the 138th Kentucky Derby. It's set to be a brackish track Saturday so that should favor the galloping mudders. Keep that in mind as you are making your wagers! Especially since this year a lot of people's future health care coverage may hinge on them correctly choosing a winner.

Here are some key things to look out for:

White people! Lots and lots of really really white people. Wait until you see the winners circle interview. It will be a small minority man surrounded by a sea of mint juleped white folks. You may be tempted to adjust the contrast on your TV.

Drama!

Larry David! Yes, America's sweetheart Larry David will be attending. Please bring J.B. Smoove. Please?

The ORM© says Irish War Cry is your winner. I say, I say it's going to be Classic Empire.

What to wear:

His Derby Style
The Kentucky Derby provides a splendid excuse for men to get just as dressed up and decked out as the ladies! The modern Derby man (me) possesses an unparalleled color palette. Sun-drenched, tropical colors in bold stripes or busy plaid and bright pastels steal the limelight. Although, if you want a more polished look, a classic navy or pinstripe blazer is always in style. But remember, gentlemen: The secret to looking great is confidence. Whatever you wear, wear it proud!

Her Derby Style
I don't know, something with lots of leg and cleavage.

I hope you enjoyed this preview and it enhances your enjoyment of the race. I'll be on sight covering the Preakness in a couple weeks. Fashion tip: Kevlar!

You've done 138 of these? Damn, you're old.

 

[dash]

Will you be wearing one of those big floppy southern belle hats comeds?

I like the hat, but my eyes are averting lower

 

[dash]

His Derby Style
The Kentucky Derby provides a splendid excuse for men to get just as dressed up and decked out as the ladies! The modern Derby man (me) possesses an unparalleled color palette. Sun-drenched, tropical colors in bold stripes or busy plaid and bright pastels steal the limelight. Although, if you want a more polished look, a classic navy or pinstripe blazer is always in style. But remember, gentlemen: The secret to looking great is confidence. Whatever you wear, wear it proud!

This guy nailed it.

 

[forty_three]

Will you be wearing one of those big floppy southern belle hats comeds?

The accepted dress code at the Preakness for men is jean shorts with a white sleevless shirt so you can show off your WhiteSnake tattoo.

Or, as the Preakness is known locally, "the only day cops and white people go into Pimlico"

 

[DevilishWon]

"the only day cops and white people go into Pimlico"

Not as nice as good ol' Timonium....

 

[elocomotive]

Especially since this year a lot of people's future health care coverage may hinge on them correctly choosing a winner.

LMAO!

Nice to see some on location reporting from C. Omeds once again.

 

[elocomotive]

I like the hat, but my eyes are averting lower

I don't know... I've seen better foreheads.

 

[DevilishWon]

The ORM© says Irish War Cry is your winner. I say, I say it's going to be Classic Empire.

I thought I noticed the lights dim. Didn't realize you had fired that baby up.

 

[dash]

 

[mrwallace2ku]

 

[BGDave]

Patch for the win.

After the first 4 are disqualified for goalie interference.

Adjudicated by Eddie "Geno" Olczyk

 

[Comeds]

Anybody know how to get mint julep out of seersucker?
Also blood, Old Bay, and semen?

 

[elocomotive]

Anybody know how to get mint julep out of seersucker?
Also blood, Old Bay, and semen?

Separate stains or all mixed together?

Because I'm not sure how to get out blood, but if you have Old Bay and semen mixed, my grandmother taught me a way to fix that.

"Crabcakes and removing semen stains... that's what Maryland does!"

 

[dash]

@Comeds , Going to Pimlico on Saturday?

 

[Comeds]

@Comeds , Going to Pimlico on Saturday?

The Run for the Black-Eyed Susans? I wouldn't miss it for the world. I plan to walk the grounds tomorrow to get that special feeling of the 2nd crown in the triple jewel of thoroughbred in order to better formulate my thoughts. I hope to create a preview that makes everyone (even people 3000 miles away) feel like they are close to the action! If I can have you flinching every time someone slams a door or a car backfires then my work will be done.

 

[forty_three]

The Run for the Black-Eyed Susans? I wouldn't miss it for the world. I plan to walk the grounds tomorrow to get that special feeling of the 2nd crown in the triple jewel of thoroughbred in order to better formulate my thoughts. I hope to create a preview that makes everyone (even people 3000 miles away) feel like they are close to the action! If I can have you flinching every time someone slams a door or a car backfires then my work will be done.

I have spent a lot of money in therapy to stop doing this.