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Horror Movies

FaCe-LeE-uS

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Did I say better? I meant to say it was an abomination.
Lol. I had to poke ya for that comment… Because it stirred up every fiber of my jimmies

Doctor Who Reaction GIF
 

returnofjakedog

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Another old horror movie review dump:

Black Sabbath (1963)-

Another Italian movie, this one a relatively early feature from giallo godfather Mario Bava.

Boris Karloff starts things off as the 3 story anthology. The narration parts have no theme or real connection to anything going on (despite Karloff being a star in the final tale).
Anyways.......
The 1st story is A Drop of Water, about a nurse who steals an expensive ring off of a really freaky looking corpse. Of course the corpse comes back and terrorizes her throughout the night. Oh, also a fly constantly bothers her, and water is heard dripping during haunting moments.
A decent tale, with the freaky corpse that appears in different locations is a highlight.
The Telephone is the 2nd story. It involves a prostitute who gets phone calls from her ex-pimp who threatens her. She calls a friend for help, but the situation isn't as it seems......
The final tale is called The Wurdulak, and is about a baron who stays with a family that has been terrorized by, and is fighting vampires.
The original Salem's Lot seems to have gotten the iconic kid vamp begging to be let into the house scene from this, which is pretty cool.

Ok, as a big fan of horror, heavy metal, and the band it is rather surprising I've never seen it before. We all know Black Sabbath took their name from this film. They stated that it was playing on the theatre across the road from their apartment and thought the name was pretty cool (considering the band's previous incarnations were the psychedelic themed Earth, and the British blues influenced Polka Tuck Blues Band, I'll assume they made the right choice).

There isn't a common theme to the stories, and the narration segments really add nothing as they just kinda state "here is the next story". The stories themselves are all decent to good, but the acting and dubbing is inconsistent at best. Also the copy I watched was very dark, but I assume there are remastered versions out there.
Also, the original cut had the stories in a different order. I don't think that really matters though.

6 outta 10 area imo. I think the "A Drop of Water" was probably the best of the lot.

Sometimes They Comeback (1991)-

A made for tv story from a very early (1974) story from the master Stephen King. It was produced by the legendary Dino De Laurentiis (his list of great movies is extensive. Look it up!).

Anyways, Tim Matheson is a down on his luck teacher who returns to his hometown out of necessity. 27 years previous 4 older bullies stabbed his brother in a train tunnel, and then 3 of the bullies are hit by a train when their car is stuck on the tracks
Tim's favorite students start dying off in weird accidents, and each time this happens one of the dead bullies poses as a student and joins his class. They harrass and terrorize Tim and his family in an escalating manner until things come to a very King-ish conclusion.

I was surprised at how much I enjoyed this one. Despite the over use of Stephen King troupes (teacher/author haunted by his past, small town bullies, dead relative returning to help, etc, etc) it was generally a fun ride. It highlights how good his storytelling can be.
The acting is mostly good. The bullies chew up scenery and are obviously having a blast, and their demon/zombie forms are pretty fun. The fxs range from good to cheesy. Everything flows pretty well, except the small town doesn't seem very upset that a bunch of high school kids are dying off.
The downside for me would have to be the family. The wife is mostly an afterthought, and hus son is really annoying. Add to it an intentionally upbeat ending that is tacked on, out of place (I guess because it was for tv?), and it detracts from the overall.

This is essentially an earlier (from when the story was written, not film) version of Christine told from a teacher's perspective, and the bullies being supernatural instead of the car

This was not one of my fav King stories but this adaptation was better than expected. I'll go 6 to 6.5 range outta 10, and that is with a 1 point or so deduction for the happy ending bs and some other smaltzy stuff along the way.

Chopping Mall (1988)-

A group of kids party in a mall after hours. But the mall's new supposedly safe robot security has been compromised by a power surge and they run amok.

I've heard a lot about this one over the years but considering everything it is pretty disappointing. The kids are all annoying, the adults either stupid, assholes, or both. The robot design is bad. The story execution and flow is poor at best. The acting is mostly poor.

Despite this, there are a few good things. There is a cameo from the couple from Delicatessen which is funny but if you don't know that obscure film it will just be confusing. There are some solid kills (Dick Miller makes a quick appearance before getting electrocuted), including one of the better all time head explosions. Other than that I was mostly bored.

After reading about it, I wasn't surprised to find it is a Jim Wynorski flick. His list of crap is extensive and I don't know if I've ever liked anything he has ever done.

Considering the cult status and the great head explosion, this one was a disappointment. I can't in good faith go more than about a 4 outta 10.
 
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Blackshirts BLVD

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Took my kids to see Sonic 2 yesterday. Had some nice Evil Dead, Batman, Poltergeist, Wizard of Oz, and some other references that are escaping me right now.
 

BeaReylo

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Impetigore, on Shudder. The opening scene starts off with a bang then delves into an intense super slow burn.
 

returnofjakedog

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Storm of the Century (1999)-
A stranger appears on a small island off the coast of Maine just as a huge storm approaches. He murders an old lady and is willingly captured. He then spouts cryptic dialogue and reveals everyone's darkest secrets, all the while demanding the townsfolk give him what he wants.
The storm worsens, the town bunkers down, the stranger continues escalating the situation until he reveals his nefarious supernatural purpose.
This is a generally very well done adaptation of the King story that manages to capture the feeling of malice and hidden darkside of humanity that hides among society. Craig R. Baxley, who mostly did tv stuff, directed. He has several King adaptations under his belt, and they are mostly solid (Rose Red, Kingdom Hospital, The Triangle, etc).
The good:
*Solid production. Well shot, mostly good acting.
*A good sense of paranoia and dread are established.
*Not a ton of fxs in regards to blood and gore, but what they do have is well done. The storm destruction shots are pretty cool with the use of miniatures and such.

The bad:
*4 hours long. It works as a miniseries but when viewed as a single movie it does drag because of length. But the drag isn't too bad considering.
*The story is packed with King troupes, so it can seem a little redundant to those who have watched/read a lot of his stuff.
*The townsfolk make some pretty stupid decisions towards the end.

Overall a fine watch that probably would work better with a shorter cut if you want a movie-style viewing.
7 to 7.5 outta 10 range from me.

Needful Things is a slightly better, very similar story, but the execution of the miniseries is better here despite not having a Max Von Sydow performance.

Invitation to Hell (1984)-
(No trailer available, so here is the entire movie)
Another Wes Craven made for tv movie from before he broke huge with Freddie.
I was weary of this one after the gigantic bore that was Stranger in Our House with Linda Blair, and this one is better but unfortunately only slightly so.

Robert Urich and his annoying family move to an upscale town for a new hightech job. Everything seems perfect but everyone is joining the local country club where they return from "different" than they used to be.
This one starts with a bang as the beautiful Susan Lucci gets hit be a car, pops up behind it unharmed, then explodes the car and driver with a well placed finger shot! Then we switch to the family and things grind to a snail's pace for 60 some minutes as Urich sleepwalks his way through the mystery.
The last half hour picks up as Urich jumps through dimensional portals to try to save his family.
4.5 outta 10 from me. Not Wes' best work.

Asylum (1972)-

A Robert Bloch written anthology! This one was actually pretty decent considering the timeperiod and budget.

A psychiatrist has a job interview at an institute for the incurably insane. He is informed that he will have to interview various patients to determine which of them is the now incarcerated former chief psychiatrist there.
The first patient tells of a man who kills and dismembers his wife, only to be killed by the reanimated pieces of the corpse. His lover then arrives at the house where she is terrorized by the crawling body parts.
Cheap fxs, but done is a creepy and fun manner kinda reminiscent of The Evil Dead.
The second patient recounts about a tailor who is hired to make a suit that, unbeknownst to him, will revive the dead when worn. Of course things don't go as planned.
Peter Cushing plays the customer.
The 3rd patient tells us how her brother tried to lock her away in their house due to her instability, but her friend works to help her escape his tyranny. Only the friend may not be what she seems.......
The final patient tells about he is making small puppet creatures that he can transfer his mind and soul into.

All and all, a professionally done film. Some decent acting from some classic Brits. Due to time period and budget it has the feel of Night Gallery episodes.
6 to 6.5 outta 10 range. A good watch for anthology fans.
 

returnofjakedog

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Did anyone watch Chapelwaite? Is it worth getting into?
Chapelwaite (2020)-


A widowed seacaptain with 3 children returns to a small town in Maine to inherit the family estate. However he finds the local residents of a nearby village are under some sort of epidemic that is slowly killing people, and they openly blame his family for it. To add to the issues, his 3 children are of mixed race (South Pacific), which is problematic in rural 1840-50 timeframe. Eventually they become aware of a deserted settlement nearby that is now occupied by a scary cult who may be vampires!

This is based on Stephen King's short story Jerusalem's Lot (not the book Salem's Lot which is the same lore but set much later), and stars Adrian Brody and the actress who played Stevie on Schitt's Creek.
It is a well executed series. The acting, direction, cinematography, fxs, are all solid. However the story drags a bit as it is 10 episodes/hours. It works as a slow burn but they probably could have trimmed it a bit and told the story as effectively in 7 or even 6 hours.

Adrian Brody does a good job. His character generally makes solid decisions (except for not fleeing the area) and looks perpetually worried and beaten down by life. The rest of the cast is good, but the kids got just a little bit annoying at times. The townsfolk are, as always in these types of "stranger goes to small town" horror genre, generally horrible, unhelpful assholes to the family. The main antagonists in the cult are distrubing and violent but don't get enough screen time until late in the series. The main vampire guy is rather nasty. However when things do come to a head it is pretty wild and has some really good fxs.

Recommended for fans of King, vampire and/or well-told slow burn horror. If you want lots of action, and things to move quickly you might struggle to get through it.

I give it a solid 7 to 7.5 outta 10 range. It isn't perfect, for example: I wanted more comeuppance for a few of the asswipe townies, and there was a big battle with a possible redemptive arch that they just did offscreen for no apparent good reason, but generally quite well done in all aspects, and, as noted, they drug it out for too long to reach the series' 10 hour mark. Also the very end was a bit strange.

Not sure if there is going to be a season 2 or whether this is a stand alone but there are several directions the story could go with or without the current actors. Regardless of which path they took I would watch another season.

A slow burn, but well done. See the review above.
 

Sharkonabicycle

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Another old horror movie review dump:

Black Sabbath (1963)-

Another Italian movie, this one a relatively early feature from giallo godfather Mario Bava.

Boris Karloff starts things off as the 3 story anthology. The narration parts have no theme or real connection to anything going on (despite Karloff being a star in the final tale).
Anyways.......
The 1st story is A Drop of Water, about a nurse who steals an expensive ring off of a really freaky looking corpse. Of course the corpse comes back and terrorizes her throughout the night. Oh, also a fly constantly bothers her, and water is heard dripping during haunting moments.
A decent tale, with the freaky corpse that appears in different locations is a highlight.
The Telephone is the 2nd story. It involves a prostitute who gets phone calls from her ex-pimp who threatens her. She calls a friend for help, but the situation isn't as it seems......
The final tale is called The Wurdulak, and is about a baron who stays with a family that has been terrorized by, and is fighting vampires.
The original Salem's Lot seems to have gotten the iconic kid vamp begging to be let into the house scene from this, which is pretty cool.

Ok, as a big fan of horror, heavy metal, and the band it is rather surprising I've never seen it before. We all know Black Sabbath took their name from this film. They stated that it was playing on the theatre across the road from their apartment and thought the name was pretty cool (considering the band's previous incarnations were the psychedelic themed Earth, and the British blues influenced Polka Tuck Blues Band, I'll assume they made the right choice).

There isn't a common theme to the stories, and the narration segments really add nothing as they just kinda state "here is the next story". The stories themselves are all decent to good, but the acting and dubbing is inconsistent at best. Also the copy I watched was very dark, but I assume there are remastered versions out there.
Also, the original cut had the stories in a different order. I don't think that really matters though.

6 outta 10 area imo. I think the "A Drop of Water" was probably the best of the lot.

Sometimes They Comeback (1991)-

A made for tv story from a very early (1974) story from the master Stephen King. It was produced by the legendary Dino De Laurentiis (his list of great movies is extensive. Look it up!).

Anyways, Tim Matheson is a down on his luck teacher who returns to his hometown out of necessity. 27 years previous 4 older bullies stabbed his brother in a train tunnel, and then 3 of the bullies are hit by a train when their car is stuck on the tracks
Tim's favorite students start dying off in weird accidents, and each time this happens one of the dead bullies poses as a student and joins his class. They harrass and terrorize Tim and his family in an escalating manner until things come to a very King-ish conclusion.

I was surprised at how much I enjoyed this one. Despite the over use of Stephen King troupes (teacher/author haunted by his past, small town bullies, dead relative returning to help, etc, etc) it was generally a fun ride. It highlights how good his storytelling can be.
The acting is mostly good. The bullies chew up scenery and are obviously having a blast, and their demon/zombie forms are pretty fun. The fxs range from good to cheesy. Everything flows pretty well, except the small town doesn't seem very upset that a bunch of high school kids are dying off.
The downside for me would have to be the family. The wife is mostly an afterthought, and hus son is really annoying. Add to it an intentionally upbeat ending that is tacked on, out of place (I guess because it was for tv?), and it detracts from the overall.

This is essentially an earlier (from when the story was written, not film) version of Christine told from a teacher's perspective, and the bullies being supernatural instead of the car

This was not one of my fav King stories but this adaptation was better than expected. I'll go 6 to 6.5 range outta 10, and that is with a 1 point or so deduction for the happy ending bs and some other smaltzy stuff along the way.

Chopping Mall (1988)-

A group of kids party in a mall after hours. But the mall's new supposedly safe robot security has been compromised by a power surge and they run amok.

I've heard a lot about this one over the years but considering everything it is pretty disappointing. The kids are all annoying, the adults either stupid, assholes, or both. The robot design is bad. The story execution and flow is poor at best. The acting is mostly poor.

Despite this, there are a few good things. There is a cameo from the couple from Delicatessen which is funny but if you don't know that obscure film it will just be confusing. There are some solid kills (Dick Miller makes a quick appearance before getting electrocuted), including one of the better all time head explosions. Other than that I was mostly bored.

After reading about it, I wasn't surprised to find it is a Jim Wynorski flick. His list of crap is extensive and I don't know if I've ever liked anything he has ever done.

Considering the cult status and the great head explosion, this one was a disappointment. I can't in good faith go more than about a 4 outta 10.

Chopping Mall, my friends and I used to watch that in the early 90s (on good ol' VHS) and thought it was great lol.
 

Sharkonabicycle

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Just watched The Cursed (2022 film). Pretty good take on a creature feature film. Reminded me quite a bit of VVitch. Can drag a little in areas but it still kept me entertained throughout the whole film - I was not skipping through parts and/or falling asleep. Great atmosphere/surrounding and some tense moments. Doesn't rely on stupid jump scares which is great and the music is pretty good. Effects are a LITTLE left to be desired but the creature is actually not shown that often (IMO a plus) so it's not bad.

Could definitely plug it in around Halloween for a re-watch. Again if you liked VVitch check this out.

 

returnofjakedog

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Chopping Mall, my friends and I used to watch that in the early 90s (on good ol' VHS) and thought it was great lol.
Have you re-watched it in the last 25 years or so?
It has it's moments. The exploding head is one of the best outside of Scanners, but beyond that...........
chopping mall horror GIF by absurdnoise
 

Sharkonabicycle

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Have you re-watched it in the last 25 years or so?
It has it's moments. The exploding head is one of the best outside of Scanners, but beyond that...........
chopping mall horror GIF by absurdnoise

lol oh I'm pretty sure it'd be horrible now. I also used to watch the Outing with friends and we thought it was great lol.

 
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