LSUoverUSC's 2011 Movie Reviews

[LSUoverUSC]

I'm consolidating:

Burlesque - One of the all-time terrible stories. The writing of this movie is horrific. Christina is attractive and has a few good parts, but overall, she is not a good actress. Cher should be in a nursing home. It is pathetic how much surgery she has had. Movie was too long. 3/10

Chronicles of Narnia - a fun movie that can stand alone. I have never seen the other Narnia movies, but thought this one did a fine job of combining adventure with interesting CGI and a positive morality. The kids are a bit annoying, but the movie builds to a triumphant crescendo. 7/10

Country Strong - the story could have gone to great heights, but instead stuck to the mud and mire. Paltrow's character is annoying and clearly based on Brittney Spears. Hedlund does a decent job, but his torn love interests makes his character less than credible. More should have been tuned to Paltrow and McGraw's relationship. Good music. 6/10

The Fighter - a really enjoyable movie that grows on you the more you think about the performances. It is entirely character driven and the two leads are exceptional. The movie isn't about boxing - it's about family, brothers, conflicting allegiances, and triumph over weakness. The boxing scenes are bad and a waste of time. 9/10

Gulliver's Travels - it's official: Jack Black can only play one character and that character is not cool and not funny. This is a terrible movie, one of the worst of the years and there's zero redeeming about it. Acting, story, everything. Terrible. 0/10.

Harry Potter - like Narnia I'd never seen any of its predecessors. Perhaps had I, I might have understood what was going on. I didn't. From start to finish I was confused and wondered who all these characters were. Fans of this movie obviously had an attachment to Harry before seeing this one because on its own, it is an utter failure. 4/10

How Do You Know - according to reports, this movie cost $120 million to make. Did the actors wipe their butts with gold toilet paper? This movie is awkward and heads in no discernible or interesting direction. Although it's labeled a romantic movie, there is no romance and I left the theater caring not for any of the characters, knowing it was just a paycheck for all of them. Worst romance in years. 2/10

The King's Speech - a great triumph of cinematic docu-drama. It brings history and drama together like never before. You will leave this movie identifying with at least one character at least at some point in your life. The soundtrack is almost as marvelous as the performances. 9/10

Little Fockers - Meet the Parents should have stopped with the original. This movie does nothing new and repeats the same, tired jokes again and again. Do comic writers think audiences are so unfunny? I didn't chuckle once and found every character to be annoying. Alba is terrible. 3/10

Megamind - it's been a couple of months since seeing this, but thought it was decent. I'm glad they reduced the role of Brad Pitt. Even though it's animation, it is a romance movie, not a kid's movie. The love Megamind has for Ms. Palin is admirable and I came to feel for the guy. 6/10

The Social Network - tight writing, great story, and moves at a pace that is irresistible. I haven't sat through two hours that went by more quickly than when watching this one. No performance sticks out; it's just a solid movie all the way around. 9/10

Tangled - I felt embarrassed not to know this fairytale. After seeing it three times already I feel that I know the tale backwards and forwards. The young lady, even though she is a cartoon, is very attractive and I found her hair irresistible. She reminded me of my Beloved. The colors are beautiful and the music fun. Not as good as The Princess and the Frog, but still good. 8/10

The Tourist - we're supposed to believe that Johnny Depp is the every man? Get real. Jolie is very attractive, perhaps at her prettiest in this film. And the cinematography of Venice is lovely. The story is not and it is one of the most predictable movies of the year. 4/10

Tron: Legacy: I did not see the original and have no intention of it. I quite liked this movie even though I don't usually like sci-fi. There's little connection I felt towards any of the characters, and blew most of their roles off as amalgamations of other characters, like from Star Wars to name one. Olivia Wilde is beautiful, like the Beloved, and her closeup shots are mesmerizing. Some of the cosmic philosophies of the movie are interesting, as are the colors and action scenes. 6/10

True Grit: I'm not a huge Western genre lover, but this movie is tightly wound and Bridges is at his best playing an old curmudgeon. Damon is annoying and I don't like the violence. Its use of biblical quotes is empty and an attempt to placate and stimulate shallow thinkers who think that a Bible quote thrown into a movie is somehow profound. 7/10
True Grit 2nd viewing: The movie gets better the second time you watch it. Bridges character is fantastic and I caught things I missed the first time as a result of his under the breath way of speaking. Still, Matt Damon is out of place, but the rest of the movie holds up very well.

The Town: I enjoyed the movie, though the violence was offputting. It was also hard to believe in Affleck's mythology of Boston. He tries to paint that neighborhood as being as bad as a ghetto in Columbia when in reality it's nothing like that. All those facts and figures he made up at the beginning of the movie claiming his childhood home is the nation's leader in armed robbery is an utter fabrication. Still, a good movie though without Affleck's desire to be thought of as having grown up in the hood. 7/10

Season of the Witch - I read a few scathing reviews and went to see this just to see how bad a movie Cage was willing to sign to. I was surprised that this movie wasn't nearly as bad as the critics said. The large scale battle scenes are bad and the CGI for the most part about a decade behind, but the story was a bit interesting, and actually surprised me. At first, I thought this was just another attack on the Church of the Middle Ages, but it was actually, in a weird way, a defense of it. The movie was always entertaining and moved very quickly, so you won't be bored. 5/10

127 Hours: I thought it was a pseudo-atheist manifesto for living a pointless life of diversions. What did he have to live for? His memories of his family? That's all he thought about. Not regret, not charity, not love. I think 127 Hours is far and away the most overrated movie of the year. The first 15 minutes were okay in a K2 sort of way, but the movie slid into boring repetition. Really a mundane take on what we're willing to do to survive. Very little interesting psychology in the movie. The scene of him breaking and cutting his arm off wasn't that bad. 4/10

The Dilemma: Pretty good romantic comedy. Theme of the movie is honesty. Really good message throughout. Perhaps it tries to touch on too many issues - unfaithfulness, faithfulness, moral dilemmas, gambling, anger, drugs, hard work, ambition, best friends, and marriage. But to make the characters more believable, I'd say erring on the side of too many issues is better than too few issues. Flashbacks in the movie were hilarious. Jennifer Connelly is stunning. She lost probably about ten pounds too much. Still, she is a striking beauty, not as beautiful as the Beloved, but very beautiful. The last scene with her and her man when they are alone made me cry. Literally, I was balling in the theater this morning. Really good ending. A well movie that should be considered a classic of the romantic comedy drama, especially considering all the recent dross in that category. 8/10

The Green Hornet: with the proliferation of comic book movies these days, you'd think the producers would have a standard pattern of success to follow. The Green Hornet moves away from any standard and tries to make a cutesy, Hangoverish comedy comic. It fails miserably. The lead of the show, Rogen, isn't remotely funny and his presence makes the movie fail from the very beginning. Why is this man a movie star? He's horrible. The co-star is low English speaker who is supposed to be made in the image of Bruce Lee. An hour into this goofy movie I was ready to leave, but I was tortured for another full hour. The only remotely interesting thing about this movie was the use of car weapons. Cameron Diaz is past her sell by date. 3/10.

No Strings Attached: Why does it seem like every movie set today has a flashback to either the late 80s or early 90s? NSA starts with a bad premise and the movie is intent to show how wrong that premise is. The problem is along the way, the movie doesn't completely reject the premise or other vices which make the premise possible. There is a moving scene at the end, as you might expect, but with the impurity scattered throughout the movie, it's hard to feel like the characters have really undergone catharsis and been redeemed. Nonetheless, there are humorous parts, but if you've seen the trailer, you've seen most of the movie. Portman is a good actress, but she's not that attractive. 6/10

 

[LSUoverUSC]

The Road Home - Epic is over-used in the internet days, and it's a shame because this movie is an epic movie. It is the story of a group of prisoners sent to the Siberian Gulag who know the only way they can continue life is if they attempt a long shot prison break. The story is what drives this movie. What an epic story of adventure and the love of freedom. I think Weir was so worried that we would get bored that he sacrificed character development for continuous moving. The characters are not nearly as well developed as they should have been. I couldn't even recall two of their names at the end. Nevertheless, you learn to identify with them as they make their way through all kinds of challenges. The movie delves deeply into what it is that drives humans, much better than widely acclaimed 127 Hours. Although the story is likely untrue, the story captures the essence of humanity and its a captivating pictorial tour of an area of the world few of us ever consider. The National Geographic element of the movie is reason enough to watch it. The end of the movie, while a little staged and Notebook-esque, is how I hope my life ends. Years and years of separation brought to naught by a reunion of love. 7/10

The Rite - the critics who trash this movie completely miss the point of it. They seem to think it's a horror flick, but that shows they are uninformed morons. It's a movie about spiritual journeys, a movement from skepticism to hell to faith. The lead role isn't particularly good, but neither is the guy from Silence of the Lambs. This role is quite similar to his Silence of the Lambs role: conflicted, wise man who plays a villain and a hero. Anthony Hopkins is probably the most overrated actor of his generation. The Rite sometimes looks like a cheaply made film, but it is an interesting movie about faith and what brings faith. Theologically, I think it hovers too much in the realm of paganism. 6/10

The Mechanic - the best thing about this movie is it's filmed in New Orleans. Watching it, I was more attuned to figuring out which building or where in the city they were set. The movie has way too much blood and violence to recommend. The story is interesting enough and Straham or whatever his name plays the role well, but the movie has no message except killing. Hard to recommend a movie like that. It moves fast and is tightly knit, but the lack of a worthwhile theme makes this a bust. 3/10

Sanctum - this is only the second movie I've seen in 3-D. I really hate 3-D. It adds nothing to the movie. In fact, it detracts from the movie because it makes things more difficult to see on the whole and gives me a headache afterward. Anyway, this movie sucks. It's supposed to be about adventure and the complex relationship of a father and son, but it's really a movie about rich spoiled people who have no purpose and euthanasia. This is about the most pro-euthanasia movie made in America yet. Besides that horrible message, the film tries to make swimming through caves for two hours entertaining. The acting is horrendous, the dialogue just as bad, the casting terrible, the story just rancid. There were a few intense scenes, but overall a terrible movie. 1/10

Biutiful - Spaniards are weird people. Every person from Spain I've ever known was a bit odd and it seems their movie makers are even weirder. Biutiful is a 150 minute movie in English subtitles about the road to Hell being paved with good intentions. The movie focuses on a man who sees himself as a Messiah, a very humble one, who sees the lost and feels like he must save them. Yet every time he tries to help someone, it seems that only misery comes from it. And like all messiahs, he carries the burdens of a corrupt world and will be crucified for his good will. The characters are complex and real; they move the movie progressively forward, but the movie is aimless and the director gets lost in his way trying to be profound. Reading the reviews by professional critics shows how poor film criticism has become. They don't understand this movie at all. 4/10

The Roommate - Watching several cardboard actors following as predictable a script as they come gave me time to wonder how ratings have changed so much in the last decade. How was this movie given a PG-13 rating? The movie is little more than violence and a shallow, dangerous look at mental illnesses. It's a movie that demonizes people who have mental illness. I can't imagine the budget of this film was much more than $5 million. From FPOBA's use of The University of Los Angeles to props made out of paper to a script I could have written in two hours, this is about as cheap a movie as can be made. In fact, as the opening credits came on, I thought I was watching a bad Lifetime movie. My biggest complaint though was that all the characters didn't die in a giant conflagration within five minutes of the movie's start. Then I wouldn't have wasted so much time. 1/10

The Company Men - If you want to see Ben Affleck's pro-unionist, pro-socialist views, this is your movie. Set in the backdrop of the 2008 financial crash, the movie is a manifesto against corporate greed and a warning to people who invest their lives in their work. As a Christian, I am against both, but I do not understand why Affleck thinks he's for the average man. He's a celebrity who spends his time and money with celebrities. He knows as much about an honest day's work as I know about my Beloved's ancillary regions.

The movie hums at the pace of a mass transit bus. This movie is more a movie about what could have been. It could have been a great movie if the director bothered to make the characters lovable. It could have been a great story had the writer not allowed Affleck's unionist propaganda to infiltrate at every possible turn. At one point we hear that the CEO makes 700 times what the avg. employee makes in the company. Funny considering Affleck makes $37,000,000 a year and the median American salary is $32,000. For those not good at math, Affleck makes about 1,200 times the average American salary. Chris Cooper gives the strongest performance, and his role is most credible while the others are rather empty.

The writing is at its worse and most confused at the very end. After 90 minutes of pounding in the message that hard work with your hands that produces something palpable is good, we end in "triumph." Not the triumph of hard work, but of returning to the office to do exactly what it was they were all doing before. Wholly unsatisfying and it shows the shoddy craftsmanship of a splintered mind and life - one that does not practice what he preaches - and ruins the possibility of this being a good movie. 5/10

 

[LSUoverUSC]

Never Say Never - never would I think I'd say that spending $10 on my Never Say Never ticket was the best value for money of anything I bought this year, but here I am to say that. The movie itself is good. It's an interesting documentary on a kid who is trying to stay a kid in this big world. The music is great. The sequence and timing are superb. But what puts this movie over the top are the fans. That's right. By the end of the movie, 75% of the theater, consisting mostly of early and pre-teen girls were on the ground level with their hands up, screaming and touching the screen as if the movie were a concert. It was exhilarating to be in that number! I confess I too ran down to the floor and began dancing and screaming with the masses. What an awesome movie experience. Movie 6/10 Experience 10/10.

Take Me Home Tonight - the first half hour of this movie was amongst the worst 30 minutes of film in history. The trailer makes it out to be a comedy, but there are no humorous elements to the movie, especially in the first 30 minutes. The most interesting aspect of this movie involves failure and regret and how it has motivated, or rather, marked the movie's protagonist. If the director had focused on that instead of stupid scenes that did not help the movie, it might be worth seeing. But as it lacks comic and true dramatic elements, it flops. The music is pretty good if you're an 80s fan, but what? They didn't even put Take Me Home Tonight in the movie! Really. The title has nothing to do with this movie and the ending is just poor. 2/10

Rango - as some have said, this is a kid's movie for adults. The themes of self redemption, challenge, and justice are ever present. Set with a Western motif, I have to say it's one of the best Western movies ever made. The computer graphics are believable, the story is tight, the dialogue wonderful, and the characters as spritely as a lizard crossing an interstate. It is also a humorous movie whose wit is matched only by its self knowledge as a Western. It is probably the best movie at the theaters in March. 9/10

Soul Surfer - I went into this movie knowing nothing about it, nothing. It was playing when I arrived at the theater, so I went blind. All I knew was it was rated PG. When it began, I thought, "This looks dumb, but at least it's a pretty girl in a bikini." Moments later, the girl goes to church, and I'm thinking, "This must be one of those evangelical Christian movies that's trying to make a way into the mainstream." Bingo. With a star studded cast of Helen Hunt, Dennis Quaid, Craig Nelson (from the show Coach, who seems to be making a comeback with his recent role in the bland Company Men), Kevin Sorbo, and Carrie Underwood it caught me off guard because usually that type of movie has a no-name cast or with that fundamentalist guy Scott from Growing Pains.

For the first hour of the movie, I was really annoyed by it. It was overly preachy, overly sentimental, and overly focus on surfing and the life of a self-centered, selfish family that adds nothing to the world. They lived for their own entertainment, like most of the "evangelical Christians" today who are self-righteous and act that fake Mormon niceness that comes off as smug. People like this family put a lot of people off Christianity because they claim Christ, but live lives of the aesthete, living as if God chose them and them alone to enjoy the world. Suffering? As long as it's not me and my family, who cares? It's that type of teaching that has made much of what passes as Christianity in America the epitome of what Jesus taught against (much like Mormonism). Back to the movie, it was growing in annoying scenes, chirpy lines, and overly sentimental music to a crescendo of all I hate about American happy-clappyism. Where was the reality? The didactic moment?

But something happened in the last quarter of the movie. A pivotal change in the mood and direction, and it made all the difference. I won't spoil it for you, but somehow I got caught up in the young girl's life, and began sobbing uncontrollably in the theater. I have never cried like that from a movie, but this movie somehow reached into my spirit and tugged at it, perhaps more than any other movie since Rudy and A Walk to Remember. I confess that afterward, I felt a little used, but the feelings of manipulation passed when I realized this movie was based on a true story, and the one whose life it is based seemed genuine and true. I feel torn to give it a high rating because of the first 3/4 of the movie and the emotional roller coaster it takes you on, but I will give it a 7/10 just on the fact that it moved me so severely.

Source Code - a movie I went into blindly as well. From the title I thought it was going to be about computer hacking or some silly subject like that. Immediately, the movie embraces you with its mystery and action. The director really does his profession proudly using many of the known and unknown techniques of Hitchcock. To go into more detail is to give the movie away, but throughout the movie, I was intrigued and entertained.

It tries to pass itself off as intelligent, delving into the paradoxes of time travel, but it adds nothing of note, borrowing instead from Terminator and Back to the Future ideas. Not that interesting in my opinion, but what is interesting is the perfectly organized movie, its pace, and its great roles, perfectly cast might I add. I don't think I blinked the entire time. As a mystery-action-thriller, it doesn't get any better than this, but those who try to turn it into some intellectual treatise are morons. 8/10

Prom - As a confessed lover of nostalgically sentimental movies, I went into this movie thinking it would whisk me back in time to my own high school years. But, I am sad to report, it did not. The movie tries way too hard to be sentimental and it comes across as a cheaply made movie. The premise is absurd - that prom is the entire point of high school and people look forward to it their entire lives. Unless things have changed, that's not true to real life. The director also tries to make prom night into some sort of Breakfast Club - attempting to be this generation's boundary crosser, showing that all kids in high school put on masks and one day (prom) take them off to see that they're all similar to each other. Judging by the zero other attendees in the theater while I was there, I don't think it succeeded in being a favorite of any generation, not even those who are juniors or seniors in high school, their obvious intended audience. 2/10

Water for Elephants - Having seen the trailer for this movie, I assumed it would be a fantasy movie based in a circus world. Boy was I wrong. This movie tries to be in less than two hours a documentary on the Great Depression and circus life, a story justifying adultery and breaking the law, and a cheap imitation of The Notebook. Fail. Fail. Fail. The only good performance in the movie is the ring master. He's an interesting, if violent, figure. Reese Witherspoon? Who has she slept with to get role after role? She's a TERRIBLE actress and not even very attractive. I don't see how she has done a single movie since Pretty In Pink. Every movie I've seen in which she has starred has been horrible. This movie is no exception. 2/10

Thor - Ah, yes, summer is here and so are the blockbusters. The summer has started in high style with Thor. I'm not a fan of those comic book movies, but this Marvel feature crosses the comic genre more than any other before it, even Iron Man. With themes from literature, religion, and science beautifully woven together, not to mention spectacular special effects that are among the prettiest ever made, this is the best movie I've seen so far in 2011. Natalie Portman and the guy who plays Thor have great chemistry, and that's not even the main story. The main story is about sibling rivalry, and it is marvelously illustrated. Absolutely outstanding. 9/10

 

[LSUoverUSC]

36 movies reviewed. Need to start watching more.

 

[huskers1217]

why is stevie banned?

 

[tech_iceman]

mercy post

fixed

 

[cane_man]

This posting style reminds me of somebody........

 

[cane_man]

why is stevie banned?

For one, he e-stalked cw to the point where some may have called the popo. She didnt asked that he be banned, but I think that was a piece of what made ghost say fuck that guy.

 

[TexasMan]

Hammer saw some old threads of his bumped and decided to perma him.

 

[TigerBait1971]

LSU. The only real champ of 2003.

 

[7NationalChampionships]

LSU. The only real champ of 2003.

 

[TigerBait1971]

 

[JuiceTheGator]

why is stevie banned?

Probably because he was funny and some bitch bitched about it.