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I came up with this list a few years ago, because one of the people I work with is a huge Pens fan, and all I kept hearing is how great Crosby is. This is basically the same concept as the Chuck Norris facts.
Please let me know if you have a favorite one (or more) on this list, if any.
Enjoy!
SIDNEY CROSBY FACTS
1) Wayne Gretzky owns a pair of Sidney Crosby pajamas.
2) During a game, Sidney Crosby took a slap shot to the face. The puck was put on IR the rest of the season.
3) Sidney Crosby had 7 points in a game where they lost 1-0.
4) After losing a game 4-3, Sidney Crosby skated around the world so fast that he went back in time and killed the parents of the guy who scored the winning goal.
5) When a game was going to be postponed due to the zamboni breaking down, Sidney Crosby pushed it himself around the rink in half the time it would normally take to get the game started.
6) Sidney Crosby took a game off to stop a volcano from destroying a city. In his place was his action figure that scored a hat trick while still in its packaging.
7) Sidney Crosby doesn’t move when he skates, he makes the ice move him.
8) The phrase he shoots he scores has now been replaced with he shoots he Crosby’s.
9) NO team can have a man advantage as long as Sidney Crosby is on the ice.
10) Sidney Crosby is Jesus on skates.
11) Sidney won’t give us the cure for cancer till someone beats him. Looks like were screwed.
12) I wanna be like mike has now been changed to I wanna be like Sidney, and Michael Jordan was the one who changed it.
13) Sidney Crosby doesn’t wear pads and a helmet to protect himself. It’s to protect everyone else.
14) Sidney Crosby scored from the penalty box.
15) Sidney Crosby doesn’t need women, women need Sidney Crosby.
16) Sidney Crosby doesn’t whine and any player that says so disappears.
17) Sidney Crosby was shot 5 times and nothing happened.
18) Sidney Crosby doesn’t go to church to pray to God. God goes to Mellon Arena to pray to Sidney Crosby.
19) The second coming of the Messiah didn’t happen on January 1st, 2000, because it already happened August 7th, 1987.
20) 80,000 year old cave paintings were recently discovered in Africa. They were mostly about Sidney Crosby and penguins.
21) Sidney Crosby’s real name was Hacksaw but he changed it to Sidney to show everyone how tough he is.
22) Pluto is no longer considered a planet after people discovered that Sidney Crosby hates Walt Disney.
23) The world took 7 days to create instead of 5 because God was in line for season tickets to see Sidney Crosby.
24) Sidney Crosby made a save against his own shot.
25) Hockey season only goes from October to April. The world is not ready for Sidney Crosby all year.
26) After the season is over there will be 4 expansion teams added to the NHL. They will be added to play against Sidney Crosby only.
27) I dream of Jeanie was changed to I dream of Sidney.
28) I love Lucy was also changed to I love Sidney.
29) The war in Iraq was started when Saddam Hussein said Sidney Crosby sucks. The people thought if they killed Saddam we would leave and end the war. They were wrong.
30) Sunday is the Lords day of rest so he can watch all the Penguin games he Tivoed.
31) Sidney Crosby healed a blind person so they could see him play. After scoring a goal that was so amazing the person became blind again from seeing it.
32) Sidney Crosby has a tattoo of Sidney Crosby.
33) Sidney Crosby scored a goal sleep skating.
34) Sidney Crosby shot a goal so hard in the 5-hole that it gave the goalie a new A-hole.
35) Before goalies go to bed they look under the bed for Sidney Crosby.
36) Sidney Crosby’s slap shot broke one of Wolverine’s ribs.
37) Sidney Crosby has to wear 2 cups.
38) Bo wishes he knew Sidney Crosby.
39) Sidney Crosby made the Kessel Run in under 10 parsecs. (Star Wars)
40) The All Star game had just Sidney Crosby, but he got lonely.
41) Sidney Crosby doesn’t get back checked. No Guys get behind him, EVER.
42) Sidney Crosby checked a Guy so hard into the glass that it broke, and the replacement glass broke itself out of fear.
43) Sidney Crosby deked a guy so bad his soul came out.
44) The refs don’t call penalties on Sidney Crosby; he calls them on himself so he can watch the game for a couple of minutes by himself.
45) Sidney Crosby beat up the Hanson Brothers. (Slap Shot)
46) Sidney Crosby sleeps in a freezer so he is always ready for game time.
47) The saying practice makes perfect does not apply to playing against Sidney Crosby.
48) Helen Keller cheered when Sidney Crosby scored.
49) Sidney Crosby went to play in Mystery, Alaska. The mystery was solved.
50) Sidney Crosby beat the Flash in a race.
51) When watching Sidney Crosby playing you will notice a black patch about 10 feet behind him. That’s his shadow trying to catch up.
52) Sidney Crosby doesn’t donate blood, he makes other players bleed instead.
53) Sidney Crosby eats hockey pucks for breakfast.
54) People Magazine’s 100 sexiest men issue has Sidney Crosby at #1. The rest of the magazine was just advertisements.
55) Sidney Crosby’s middle name is FU.
56) Sidney Crosby uses the Stanley Cup to drink beer out of.
57) Sidney Crosby passed a puck so fast that it went back in time and killed a man. That man was J.F.K.
58) Justin Timberlake was talking about Sidney Crosby when he said he’s bringing sexy back.
59) Sidney Crosby lifts 10 lbs. every time he goes to the bathroom.
60) Sidney Crosby made it all the way through watching Gigli.
61) Sidney Crosby is the Father of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby.
62) Sidney Crosby doesn’t play hockey on ice. Its water that’s scared shitless.
63) Sidney Crosby doesn’t dive. He simply moves to fast for his feet to catch up.
64) Sidney Crosby doesn’t pass the puck. It’s the puck trying to get away from him before he hits it.
65) When Sidney Crosby is playing, his cape is in his locker.
66) Sidney Crosby doesn’t need to tan, he tells his skin to get darker.
67) Sidney Crosby freed Willy and Nelson Mandela so they could watch him play.
68) If you ever have a dream about punching Sidney Crosby you better wake up and apologize.
69) When Sidney Crosby chops onions, the onions cry.
70) Sidney Crosby has never lost to the Harlem Globetrotters.
71) Sidney Crosby had the Rocky statue removed because no one is allowed to worship false idols.
72) Sidney Crosby created Sidney Crosby’s disease and it kicked Lou Gehrig’s diseases ass.
73) Sidney Crosby’s jersey number was originally 187, and that’s why police use it when reporting a killing.
74) Sidney Crosby has a pet penguin named Steve that eats tigers.
75) A leap year occurs when people need an extra day to be informed what Sidney Crosby has achieved in the past 4 years.
76) Mikey died when he apparently tried hockey against Sidney Crosby.
77) The craters on the moon were caused when Sidney Crosby was using it as target practice.
78) Sidney Crosby checked a bus over in order to save a bird from getting hit.
79) Sidney Crosby could beat up your honor student.
80) Before the national anthem people pay tribute to Sidney Crosby by saying a prayer and offering women.
81) A solar eclipse happens when Sidney Crosby poke checks the moon a bit too hard.
82) Sidney Crosby was sent from the future to kill Sarah Connor, but he decided to play hockey instead. (Terminator)
83) Tiger Woods challenged Sidney Crosby to golf and made a bet with him. No one was told who won but Tiger changed his name to Kitten.
84) Sidney Crosby killed the dinosaurs so that man could rise up and watch him play.
85) When Sidney Crosby stays at Mario Lemieux’s house, Mario sleeps on the couch.
86) Sidney Crosby cut off Wayne Gretzky’s head with a skate and shouted there can be only one. (Highlander)
87) The energizer bunny doesn’t have shit on Sidney Crosby.
88) Sidney Crosby doesn’t have skeletons in his closet. They are in his basement, garage, trunk of car, and anywhere else he feels like putting them.
89) Drugs were invented so people could escape the reality that they are not Sidney Crosby.
90) Every time Sidney Crosby scores a goal an Angel gets their wings.
91) When you say that Sidney Crosby is gay, innocent children die. What kind of bastard wants that?
92) There is no such thing as comets, just hockey pucks returning back to Earth that were hit at some point by Sidney Crosby.
93) When Sidney Crosby went out to do a face-off he literally took the opposing players face off.
94) The cure for all diseases is in Sidney Crosby’s blood, good luck getting any.
95) Do not Google search Sidney Crosby. The vast amount of information will cause your computer to crash and throw itself off a cliff.
96) Sidney Crosby was born 3 weeks early because his hockey stick broke his mother’s water.
97) Sidney Crosby proved that 10 is a solitary number. Look it up.
98) Mission Impossible was a term used by scientist when they tried to find Sidney Crosby’s weakness.
99) Sidney Crosby doesn’t cheat on his girlfriends. That would imply that he cared if they found out he was with other women.
100) Sidney Crosby eats glass and shits out beer bottles.
Please let me know if you have a favorite one (or more) on this list, if any.
Enjoy!
SIDNEY CROSBY FACTS
1) Wayne Gretzky owns a pair of Sidney Crosby pajamas.
2) During a game, Sidney Crosby took a slap shot to the face. The puck was put on IR the rest of the season.
3) Sidney Crosby had 7 points in a game where they lost 1-0.
4) After losing a game 4-3, Sidney Crosby skated around the world so fast that he went back in time and killed the parents of the guy who scored the winning goal.
5) When a game was going to be postponed due to the zamboni breaking down, Sidney Crosby pushed it himself around the rink in half the time it would normally take to get the game started.
6) Sidney Crosby took a game off to stop a volcano from destroying a city. In his place was his action figure that scored a hat trick while still in its packaging.
7) Sidney Crosby doesn’t move when he skates, he makes the ice move him.
8) The phrase he shoots he scores has now been replaced with he shoots he Crosby’s.
9) NO team can have a man advantage as long as Sidney Crosby is on the ice.
10) Sidney Crosby is Jesus on skates.
11) Sidney won’t give us the cure for cancer till someone beats him. Looks like were screwed.
12) I wanna be like mike has now been changed to I wanna be like Sidney, and Michael Jordan was the one who changed it.
13) Sidney Crosby doesn’t wear pads and a helmet to protect himself. It’s to protect everyone else.
14) Sidney Crosby scored from the penalty box.
15) Sidney Crosby doesn’t need women, women need Sidney Crosby.
16) Sidney Crosby doesn’t whine and any player that says so disappears.
17) Sidney Crosby was shot 5 times and nothing happened.
18) Sidney Crosby doesn’t go to church to pray to God. God goes to Mellon Arena to pray to Sidney Crosby.
19) The second coming of the Messiah didn’t happen on January 1st, 2000, because it already happened August 7th, 1987.
20) 80,000 year old cave paintings were recently discovered in Africa. They were mostly about Sidney Crosby and penguins.
21) Sidney Crosby’s real name was Hacksaw but he changed it to Sidney to show everyone how tough he is.
22) Pluto is no longer considered a planet after people discovered that Sidney Crosby hates Walt Disney.
23) The world took 7 days to create instead of 5 because God was in line for season tickets to see Sidney Crosby.
24) Sidney Crosby made a save against his own shot.
25) Hockey season only goes from October to April. The world is not ready for Sidney Crosby all year.
26) After the season is over there will be 4 expansion teams added to the NHL. They will be added to play against Sidney Crosby only.
27) I dream of Jeanie was changed to I dream of Sidney.
28) I love Lucy was also changed to I love Sidney.
29) The war in Iraq was started when Saddam Hussein said Sidney Crosby sucks. The people thought if they killed Saddam we would leave and end the war. They were wrong.
30) Sunday is the Lords day of rest so he can watch all the Penguin games he Tivoed.
31) Sidney Crosby healed a blind person so they could see him play. After scoring a goal that was so amazing the person became blind again from seeing it.
32) Sidney Crosby has a tattoo of Sidney Crosby.
33) Sidney Crosby scored a goal sleep skating.
34) Sidney Crosby shot a goal so hard in the 5-hole that it gave the goalie a new A-hole.
35) Before goalies go to bed they look under the bed for Sidney Crosby.
36) Sidney Crosby’s slap shot broke one of Wolverine’s ribs.
37) Sidney Crosby has to wear 2 cups.
38) Bo wishes he knew Sidney Crosby.
39) Sidney Crosby made the Kessel Run in under 10 parsecs. (Star Wars)
40) The All Star game had just Sidney Crosby, but he got lonely.
41) Sidney Crosby doesn’t get back checked. No Guys get behind him, EVER.
42) Sidney Crosby checked a Guy so hard into the glass that it broke, and the replacement glass broke itself out of fear.
43) Sidney Crosby deked a guy so bad his soul came out.
44) The refs don’t call penalties on Sidney Crosby; he calls them on himself so he can watch the game for a couple of minutes by himself.
45) Sidney Crosby beat up the Hanson Brothers. (Slap Shot)
46) Sidney Crosby sleeps in a freezer so he is always ready for game time.
47) The saying practice makes perfect does not apply to playing against Sidney Crosby.
48) Helen Keller cheered when Sidney Crosby scored.
49) Sidney Crosby went to play in Mystery, Alaska. The mystery was solved.
50) Sidney Crosby beat the Flash in a race.
51) When watching Sidney Crosby playing you will notice a black patch about 10 feet behind him. That’s his shadow trying to catch up.
52) Sidney Crosby doesn’t donate blood, he makes other players bleed instead.
53) Sidney Crosby eats hockey pucks for breakfast.
54) People Magazine’s 100 sexiest men issue has Sidney Crosby at #1. The rest of the magazine was just advertisements.
55) Sidney Crosby’s middle name is FU.
56) Sidney Crosby uses the Stanley Cup to drink beer out of.
57) Sidney Crosby passed a puck so fast that it went back in time and killed a man. That man was J.F.K.
58) Justin Timberlake was talking about Sidney Crosby when he said he’s bringing sexy back.
59) Sidney Crosby lifts 10 lbs. every time he goes to the bathroom.
60) Sidney Crosby made it all the way through watching Gigli.
61) Sidney Crosby is the Father of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby.
62) Sidney Crosby doesn’t play hockey on ice. Its water that’s scared shitless.
63) Sidney Crosby doesn’t dive. He simply moves to fast for his feet to catch up.
64) Sidney Crosby doesn’t pass the puck. It’s the puck trying to get away from him before he hits it.
65) When Sidney Crosby is playing, his cape is in his locker.
66) Sidney Crosby doesn’t need to tan, he tells his skin to get darker.
67) Sidney Crosby freed Willy and Nelson Mandela so they could watch him play.
68) If you ever have a dream about punching Sidney Crosby you better wake up and apologize.
69) When Sidney Crosby chops onions, the onions cry.
70) Sidney Crosby has never lost to the Harlem Globetrotters.
71) Sidney Crosby had the Rocky statue removed because no one is allowed to worship false idols.
72) Sidney Crosby created Sidney Crosby’s disease and it kicked Lou Gehrig’s diseases ass.
73) Sidney Crosby’s jersey number was originally 187, and that’s why police use it when reporting a killing.
74) Sidney Crosby has a pet penguin named Steve that eats tigers.
75) A leap year occurs when people need an extra day to be informed what Sidney Crosby has achieved in the past 4 years.
76) Mikey died when he apparently tried hockey against Sidney Crosby.
77) The craters on the moon were caused when Sidney Crosby was using it as target practice.
78) Sidney Crosby checked a bus over in order to save a bird from getting hit.
79) Sidney Crosby could beat up your honor student.
80) Before the national anthem people pay tribute to Sidney Crosby by saying a prayer and offering women.
81) A solar eclipse happens when Sidney Crosby poke checks the moon a bit too hard.
82) Sidney Crosby was sent from the future to kill Sarah Connor, but he decided to play hockey instead. (Terminator)
83) Tiger Woods challenged Sidney Crosby to golf and made a bet with him. No one was told who won but Tiger changed his name to Kitten.
84) Sidney Crosby killed the dinosaurs so that man could rise up and watch him play.
85) When Sidney Crosby stays at Mario Lemieux’s house, Mario sleeps on the couch.
86) Sidney Crosby cut off Wayne Gretzky’s head with a skate and shouted there can be only one. (Highlander)
87) The energizer bunny doesn’t have shit on Sidney Crosby.
88) Sidney Crosby doesn’t have skeletons in his closet. They are in his basement, garage, trunk of car, and anywhere else he feels like putting them.
89) Drugs were invented so people could escape the reality that they are not Sidney Crosby.
90) Every time Sidney Crosby scores a goal an Angel gets their wings.
91) When you say that Sidney Crosby is gay, innocent children die. What kind of bastard wants that?
92) There is no such thing as comets, just hockey pucks returning back to Earth that were hit at some point by Sidney Crosby.
93) When Sidney Crosby went out to do a face-off he literally took the opposing players face off.
94) The cure for all diseases is in Sidney Crosby’s blood, good luck getting any.
95) Do not Google search Sidney Crosby. The vast amount of information will cause your computer to crash and throw itself off a cliff.
96) Sidney Crosby was born 3 weeks early because his hockey stick broke his mother’s water.
97) Sidney Crosby proved that 10 is a solitary number. Look it up.
98) Mission Impossible was a term used by scientist when they tried to find Sidney Crosby’s weakness.
99) Sidney Crosby doesn’t cheat on his girlfriends. That would imply that he cared if they found out he was with other women.
100) Sidney Crosby eats glass and shits out beer bottles.
