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Yasmani Grandal Jokes

Mingo

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Any joke for Chuck Norris and replace with Yasmani Grandal:

Yasmani Grandal can kill two stones with one bird.
Yasmani Grandal counted to infinity…twice.
After a night of partying, Yasmani Grandal doesn’t throw up, he throws down.
Yasmani Grandal can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Yasmani Grandal chases sharks when he smells them bleed.

God can walk on water, Yasmani Grandal can swim through land.
Yasmani Grandal doesn’t breathe, he holds air hostage.
Yasmani Grandal is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Yasmani Grandal can divide by zero.

Now it doesn't seem so hard for Grandal to turn the Sox into contenders.
 

Jiddy

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richig07

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I'll give you this. You are the poster most dedicated to his stupidity I have ever seen. Give me Grandal for under 100 mil over Machado for 300 mill 8 days a week.

Tell me again... why does batting average matter when you have the highest OBP and wOBA at your position in all of baseball?

Eat a dick sandwich and stick to football. How runs are produced alludes you. A pretty simple concept.
 

Lake Shore Drive

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I'll give you this. You are the poster most dedicated to his stupidity I have ever seen. Give me Grandal for under 100 mil over Machado for 300 mill 8 days a week.

Tell me again... why does batting average matter when you have the highest OBP and wOBA at your position in all of baseball?

Eat a dick sandwich and stick to football. How runs are produced alludes you. A pretty simple concept.

Not sure what exactly caused Jiddy's conversion to the Dark Side, but he does seem negatively fixated on Grandal. It would be one thing if it were only diehard Sox homers who thought this was a great signing. But every baseball analyst on the planet has Grandal ranked as either the #1 or #2 catcher in the game and have stated countless times that the Sox scored big time in acquiring is services. And as far as I can tell, every Sox fan out there besides Jiddy and of course numbnuts believes he's a definite upgrade to our battery. So two vs the world....I think I'll play it safe and go with the world.
 

Mingo

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The way I read @Jiddy's attitude - is if Grandal is that good - prove it. And that is why they play the games. I will say I do remember exceptional catching on all the good White Sox teams of the past 60 years or so (that's no a coincidence).
 

idseer

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I'll give you this. You are the poster most dedicated to his stupidity I have ever seen. Give me Grandal for under 100 mil over Machado for 300 mill 8 days a week.

Tell me again... why does batting average matter when you have the highest OBP and wOBA at your position in all of baseball?

Eat a dick sandwich and stick to football. How runs are produced alludes you. A pretty simple concept.

i wouldn't make either of those deals. that doesn't help your argument, does it?
 

idseer

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Not sure what exactly caused Jiddy's conversion to the Dark Side, but he does seem negatively fixated on Grandal. It would be one thing if it were only diehard Sox homers who thought this was a great signing. But every baseball analyst on the planet has Grandal ranked as either the #1 or #2 catcher in the game and have stated countless times that the Sox scored big time in acquiring is services. And as far as I can tell, every Sox fan out there besides Jiddy and of course numbnuts believes he's a definite upgrade to our battery. So two vs the world....I think I'll play it safe and go with the world.

your continual remarks on this subject are so fucking tiresome. no, not everyone else in the world thinks grandal is a great pickup. i've pointed articles out to you before that disagree with your assessment but apparently you can't or won't read them! you'd rather just believe everyone one else agrees with you. it's ironic because this very stance shows YOU are the stupid one.

yasmani may be better that mccann so you might be right when you say he's an upgrade to our battery. what you're still too dumb to get is that a 31 year old grandal is NOT a $73 million dollar upgrade!
 

richig07

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i wouldn't make either of those deals. that doesn't help your argument, does it?

Funny, last year you were in the crowd moaning and groaning about how we were being "cheap" and lost out on the Harper/Machado sweepstakes. As always - your opinions shift to whatever side of the aisle that keeps your "old angry man" persona running. When it's "in" to praise Abreu. You push him aside. When it's "in" to say that Abreu's value has diminished. You want him back on a new, relatively expensive deal.

You think one of the undisputed best defensive catchers is worse than James McCann. Who is one of the worst defensive catchers in baseball. You also don't understand why having a top 50 bat in baseball at the worst offensive position in baseball adds runs to your lineup and wins to your record.

So, does it hurt my argument that you don't want Grandal? Not at all. It just goes to show, again... that you're too dense to get it. You're smart enough regarding the game of baseball... but you're like someone who has been depressed their entire life. It becomes your "safety net" and "comfort zone" to hate everything that the White Sox do.

There isn't a coherent argument one can give to refute the Grandal signing. Seriously, I have not heard a single White Sox fan, local analyst, national analyst, sabermetric outlet, etc. who dislikes this signing.

Yet, here we are on SportsHoopla. There's like 8,9 people here who even post regularly. The only two people in the whole baseball universe who dislike Grandal as a signing exist here within that sample size. Doesn't cease to amaze me. One hates it because "batting average! *plugs ears* LAALALALALAALLA! I can't here you!" and you hate it because "Defensive WAR! *plugs ears* LALALALALALALAALALALALA! I can't here you!".
 
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richig07

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The way I read @Jiddy's attitude - is if Grandal is that good - prove it. And that is why they play the games. I will say I do remember exceptional catching on all the good White Sox teams of the past 60 years or so (that's no a coincidence).

That's fine... but repeating the .241 batting average line? Despite having it eviscerated? It's just childish nonsense.

Grandal also doesn't really have anything more to prove. Just keep doing what he's doing. Look what he did last year in Milwaukee. What more do you want from a catcher than that? He led catchers in most categories offensively, led catchers in WAR, led multiple defensive categories... Like, what more is there?
 

idseer

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Funny, last year you were in the crowd moaning and groaning about how we were being "cheap" and lost out on the Harper/Machado sweepstakes. As always - your opinions shift to whatever side of the aisle that keeps your "old angry man" persona running. When it's "in" to praise Abreu. You push him aside. When it's "in" to say that Abreu's value has diminished. You want him back on a new, relatively expensive deal.

You think one of the undisputed best defensive catchers is worse than James McCann. Who is one of the worst defensive catchers in baseball. You also don't understand why having a top 50 bat in baseball at the worst offensive position in baseball adds runs to your lineup and wins to your record.

So, does it hurt my argument that you don't want Grandal? Not at all. It just goes to show, again... that you're too dense to get it. You're smart enough regarding the game of baseball... but you're like someone who has been depressed their entire life. It becomes your "safety net" and "comfort zone" to hate everything that the White Sox do.

There isn't a coherent argument one can give to refute the Grandal signing. Seriously, I have not heard a single White Sox fan, local analyst, national analyst, sabermetric outlet, etc. who dislikes this signing.

Yet, here we are on SportsHoopla. There's like 8,9 people here who even post regularly. The only two people in the whole baseball universe who dislike Grandal as a signing exist here within that sample size. Doesn't cease to amaze me. One hates it because "batting average! *plugs ears* LAALALALALAALLA! I can't here you!" and you hate it because "Defensive WAR! *plugs ears* LALALALALALALAALALALALA! I can't here you!".

and your first sentence is a (another) lie. i never wanted machado. and the rest of your diatribe is bullshit as well (and as always). just about everything you said was bullshit. abreu? i was ALL FOR trading abreu the past couple years and that didn't change! after we signed i was resigned to the fact he's not going anywhere and at least the money wasn't unreasonable.

There isn't a coherent argument one can give to refute the Grandal signing. Seriously, I have not heard a single White Sox fan, local analyst, national analyst, sabermetric outlet, etc. who dislikes this signing.
this is because you don't want to hear it. you simply look for confirmation. the only sad thing about this is it's going to take a year or two to prove you wrong. and by then i'm, sure you'll have some lame reason for the way it all went down. and undisputed best defensive? you haven't learned a fucking thing. you're like the kind of idiot that thought jeter was a great defensive player. honest to god you really don't know much about this game.

all you seem able to do is suggest i'm an old angry guy. that's your whole schtick! ad hominem (look it up) attacks. you have no real facts so hey. let's call the old guy names. LOL you're not only a joke, you're an unimaginative joke!
 

Jiddy

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Mother f*cking thread is called "Yasmani Grandal jokes" and richi turns it into a pile of teeth-gnashing monkey sh*t. You miserable prick.
 

Jiddy

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Not sure what exactly caused Jiddy's conversion to the Dark Side, but he does seem negatively fixated on Grandal. It would be one thing if it were only diehard Sox homers who thought this was a great signing. But every baseball analyst on the planet has Grandal ranked as either the #1 or #2 catcher in the game and have stated countless times that the Sox scored big time in acquiring is services. And as far as I can tell, every Sox fan out there besides Jiddy and of course numbnuts believes he's a definite upgrade to our battery. So two vs the world....I think I'll play it safe and go with the world.

It is because Yasmani Grandal is the highest paid player in our franchise history. Yeah, he's a victim of the circumstance and there is an unfairness to it...but it is what it is. He is not worthy of this...and don't give me this "#1 or #2 in a pile of monkey sh*t" argument about catchers.

Secondary statistics, non-quantifiable statistic, intangibles, "he's the best of a sh*tty group"...Buncha bullsh*t...Lipstick on a pig.

What the f*ck kind of team gives its largest contract EVER to a guy like Grandal?

I just don't have time because I'm buried at work but I'd LOVE to see the year just prior stats of each franchise's largest contract ever in comparison to Grandal's last year .246/28/77.

Does he suck? Nah...He's a B/C level player...That's not suck at all...and maybe he does create an amazing improvement to our clubhouse/defense/pitching...But I'm not riding this guy like he's some f*cking savior unless it happens...and most certainly I'm not doing so based on what he has done to this point. He's just a piece of the pie we're trying to make.

I would drop Grandal like a bad habit before I dumped Giolito/Moncada/Abreu/Eloy/Anderson/Bummer...hell even the young "prove it" guys like Robert/Madrigal/Kopech...FFS, that's almost 10 guys that I can just rattle off the top of my head that I'd choose over Grandal if forced into a decision from our own MIDDLING baseball team. Forget the entirety of the rest of the players in MLB.

He's whatever. Stop holding this guy on a pedestal. He has no right being our top paid player ever. This guy couldn't hold the jocks of countless current, prior and most definitely future White Sox players. He's not Mike f*cking Piazza or Carlton Fisk. He's whatever. Screw "every" analyst that in one breath makes this guy sound like the next coming and in the next informs you how they predict we're a low-mid 80 win dime a dozen baseball team.
 

Jiddy

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It is because Yasmani Grandal is the highest paid player in our franchise history. Yeah, he's a victim of the circumstance and there is an unfairness to it...but it is what it is. He is not worthy of this...and don't give me this "#1 or #2 in a pile of monkey sh*t" argument about catchers.

Secondary statistics, non-quantifiable statistic, intangibles, "he's the best of a sh*tty group"...Buncha bullsh*t...Lipstick on a pig.

What the f*ck kind of team gives its largest contract EVER to a guy like Grandal?

I just don't have time because I'm buried at work but I'd LOVE to see the year just prior stats of each franchise's largest contract ever in comparison to Grandal's last year .246/28/77.

Does he suck? Nah...He's a B/C level player...That's not suck at all...and maybe he does create an amazing improvement to our clubhouse/defense/pitching...But I'm not riding this guy like he's some f*cking savior unless it happens...and most certainly I'm not doing so based on what he has done to this point. He's just a piece of the pie we're trying to make.

I would drop Grandal like a bad habit before I dumped Giolito/Moncada/Abreu/Eloy/Anderson/Bummer...hell even the young "prove it" guys like Robert/Madrigal/Kopech...FFS, that's almost 10 guys that I can just rattle off the top of my head that I'd choose over Grandal if forced into a decision from our own MIDDLING baseball team. Forget the entirety of the rest of the players in MLB.

He's whatever. Stop holding this guy on a pedestal. He has no right being our top paid player ever. This guy couldn't hold the jocks of countless current, prior and most definitely future White Sox players. He's not Mike f*cking Piazza or Carlton Fisk. He's whatever. Screw "every" analyst that in one breath makes this guy sound like the next coming and in the next informs you how they predict we're a low-mid 80 win dime a dozen baseball team.

I regret this post instantly not because of what was said...but what I know is coming. Sigh.
 

Jiddy

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One day we'll get something more interesting than typical camp fluff...Like, "Sox new Acquisition Ken Griffey III inked to major league record deal last month, arrived at the first day of camp today and abruptly whipped out his junk and slammed it on the table in front of the team, proclaiming 'It's on b*tches.' He proceeded to launch every pitch thrown his way at batting practice into the outfield stands. When the day was over, it was very clear that the Sox are well on their way to World Series Championship #7 in a row."

But pitch framing is cool too.
 

Lake Shore Drive

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It is because Yasmani Grandal is the highest paid player in our franchise history. Yeah, he's a victim of the circumstance and there is an unfairness to it...but it is what it is. He is not worthy of this...and don't give me this "#1 or #2 in a pile of monkey sh*t" argument about catchers.

So the rule is we're not allowed to state what every analyst in the baseball world acknowledges regarding Grandal's ranking amongst all MLB catchers, because that's just monkey shit. But it's ok for Mensa candidates like you and numbnuts to time and time and time and time again continue to harp on his .241 BA as if that's the endall to his game, because you geniuses know more about baseball than these silly professional analysts, many of whom are current or former MLB players, mgrs, GMs, scouts, etc. Got it. Thanks for clarifying the SportsHoopla Let's Hate the White Sox/No Exceptions Forum rules in here.


I regret this post instantly not because of what was said...but what I know is coming. Sigh.

Hmmm, maybe you are a genius.
 

Jiddy

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So the rule is we're not allowed to state what every analyst in the baseball world acknowledges regarding Grandal's ranking amongst all MLB catchers, because that's just monkey shit. But it's ok for Mensa candidates like you and numbnuts to time and time and time and time again continue to harp on his .241 BA as if that's the endall to his game, because you geniuses know more about baseball than these silly professional analysts, many of whom are current or former MLB players, mgrs, GMs, scouts, etc. Got it. Thanks for clarifying the SportsHoopla Let's Hate the White Sox/No Exceptions Forum rules in here.

Hmmm, maybe you are a genius.

WTF are you rambling about? Say whatever the f*ck you want. You brought me into the equation, so I responded. Nobody's censoring you, jabroni. You're just wrong. Hitting .241 in the posting department...
 

Lake Shore Drive

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WTF are you rambling about? Say whatever the f*ck you want. You brought me into the equation, so I responded. Nobody's censoring you, jabroni. You're just wrong. Hitting .241 in the posting department...
LOL, I brought YOU into the equation????? Don't you read all the posts before coming up with such lame responses? You really should. Sorry Jiddy, but you're starting to become as pathetic as numbnuts. I've at least tried to differentiate between you two by stating that you at least display an occasional sense of humor. Sadly, I see that slowly slipping away now.

I'm starting to think you two should start your own podcast. You can call it the Iddy & Jiddy Show (but feel free to switch places tho if you prefer top billing). It would be a podcast about all things anti-White Sox. Of course the #1 rule would be no positive discussion whatsoever about the Sox, and all incoming calls from your audience must be something negative about the team. I can assure you of at least one devoted member, my brother, if you started something up like this. Hell, with so many pessimistic Chitown sports fans out there, I'm sure you guys would make a killing. Here are some suggested topics for each podcast:

*Why the Sox suck
*Which decade will the Sox finally get above .500
*Yasmani Grandal....$73 mil....Are you fucking kidding me????
*Jerry Reinsdorf - guilty of crimes against humanity
*Every
current or past White Sox broadcaster should die and go to hell (this one's for numbnuts to go solo when you're out sick)

I expect no compensation from this podcast suggestion despite the fact that it could bring in some serious bucks for you guys. In fact, please consider this my gift.
 
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