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AceKeptic
Free Agent from Elsewhere
To Seattle Seahawks' kicker, Blair Walsh:
Dear Fuckhead,
Thank you so much for shitting the bed when it came down to playing for pride in the last few minutes of the season, now ended due to numerous obstacles that kept us out of the playoff picture, though we are willing to dump a majority of the blame on you and your cursed past.
Whatever it is the Seahawk management saw in you was clearly not what got you exiled from Minnesota, the mystery that no one may ever be able to solve, even if they were to hire a master detective.
If there are indeed any positives we can take from your embarrassing statistics, it's that we now won't have to worry about you doing your mastered Ray Finkle impersonation to give the team an early exeunt from the postseason. If it had come down to Super Bowl LII, you would certainly find a way to shank things.
So thank you, Mr. Walsh, for botching any chances you had left for respect from the Seattle area and Seahawk fans everywhere. You will live on in the annals of team history much like other players from teams past. Rick Mirer is the first to come to mind in this case.
Good luck to you with whichever team is desperate enough to take you for the 2018 season, because we certainly don't want you back in Seattle, that's for sure!
A thousand middle fingers in your direction,
The Seattle Faithful
Dear Fuckhead,
Thank you so much for shitting the bed when it came down to playing for pride in the last few minutes of the season, now ended due to numerous obstacles that kept us out of the playoff picture, though we are willing to dump a majority of the blame on you and your cursed past.
Whatever it is the Seahawk management saw in you was clearly not what got you exiled from Minnesota, the mystery that no one may ever be able to solve, even if they were to hire a master detective.
If there are indeed any positives we can take from your embarrassing statistics, it's that we now won't have to worry about you doing your mastered Ray Finkle impersonation to give the team an early exeunt from the postseason. If it had come down to Super Bowl LII, you would certainly find a way to shank things.
So thank you, Mr. Walsh, for botching any chances you had left for respect from the Seattle area and Seahawk fans everywhere. You will live on in the annals of team history much like other players from teams past. Rick Mirer is the first to come to mind in this case.
Good luck to you with whichever team is desperate enough to take you for the 2018 season, because we certainly don't want you back in Seattle, that's for sure!
A thousand middle fingers in your direction,
The Seattle Faithful