tOfficial ritual sacrifice for success thread

[tnapucco]

OU already has bad juju by losing two athletes to injury in summer camp.

HEAR ME OH FOOTBALL GOGS, I COME BEFORE YOU AS A FAITHFUL SERVANT AND RABID COLLEGE FOOTBALL TEAM ENTHUSIAST WILLING TO DO YOUR BIDDING.

I HEREBY OFFER YOU THIS LOATHESOME BEAST AS AN OFFERING. PLEASE ACCEPT THIS MEAGER OFFERING SO THAT MY TEAM WILL PROSPER AND FLOURISH.

RAIN HELLFIRE AND BRIMSTONE ON ALL THAT WOULD OPPOSE US. SMITE THEM VERILY OH OMNIPOTENT ONES, AS WE ARE THE ONLY TEAM WORTH YOUR GRACIOUSNESS.

IN YOUR NAMES WE PRAY. OMAHA OMAHA.

 

[TheReal_NU]

I was gonna vote to sacrifice @AlaskaGuy.
Then, I remembered how much more entertaining the season will be with him posting. Kinda like @OregonDucks
I would miss them if they were gone.

 

[outofyourmind]

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[TheReal_NU]

mmmmmmmmm.
Bevo

 

[Justin Tyme]

mmmmmmmmm.
Bevo

What?

No mountain oysters?

 

[TheReal_NU]

What?

No mountain oysters?

Bevo lost his balls with Charlie Strong.

 

[craigk217]

What a cotdayum homer thread.

 

[tnapucco]

Goatmilkers need to shed one of those goats....

 

[AlaskaGuy]

I was gonna vote to sacrifice @AlaskaGuy.
Then, I remembered how much more entertaining the season will be with him posting. Kinda like @OregonDucks
I would miss them if they were gone.

 

[tnapucco]

SOME OF YOU BITCHES AIN'T BE LISTENING.

YOU MUST OFFER SACRAMENT TO THE FUTBOL GAWDZ IF'N YOU WANT TO STRUT.

MY BRETHREN NEED TO HEED THE CALL AS WELL, THOSE INJURIES REQUIRE THE BLOOD OF INNOCENT RODENTS AND FOWL TO CULL THE RAVENOUS APPETITES OF THE FUTBOL GAWDZ.

GET TO SLICIN' AND DICIN' BITCHES. SEASON IS 2/7ths OF THE WAY TO BEING OVER EN SECH.

 

[tnapucco]

I TOLD YOU.

YOU DIDN'T LISTEN.

IT'S NOT TOO LATE.

 

[fishinabarrel]

This thread just made me hungry

 

[tnapucco]

Did you listen?

Did you heed my foreboding words?

Some of you are now starting to question yourselves. "Did I do enough?...are they displeased?" "How many rabbits should we take George?"

Come on down front and bring that sacrificial beast with you. Slap it up here on the slab, do the damn thing and then chew the fat with the FUTBOL GAWDZ for a bit.

Flip a coin.

 

[TheRobotDevil]

Did you listen?

Did you heed my foreboding words?

Some of you are now starting to question yourselves. "Did I do enough?...are they displeased?" "How many rabbits should we take George?"

Come on down front and bring that sacrificial beast with you. Slap it up here on the slab, do the damn thing and then chew the fat with the FUTBOL GAWDZ for a bit.

Flip a coin.

Does this count?

 

[tnapucco]

Does this count?

That is between you, and the vengeful wraths of THEE FUTBOL GAWDZ.

...I am but their humble servant.

 

[TheRobotDevil]

That is between you, and the vengeful wraths of THEE FUTBOL GAWDZ.

...I am but their humble servant.

Well shit we play Stanford.I may need to consult a Bama fan on proper procedure for tree sacrifices

 

[tnapucco]

Well shit we play Stanford.I may need to consult a Bama fan on proper procedure for tree sacrifices

You burn plenty of trees brah.

I'd go for living flesh.

 

[TheRobotDevil]

You burn plenty of trees brah.

I'd go for living flesh.

Funny thing is evrytime I go out to smoke USC plays better.I think I have my sacrifice I'll be stocking up on trees

 

[tnapucco]

Funny thing is evrytime I go out to smoke USC plays better.I think I have my sacrifice I'll be stocking up on trees

I haven't had any trees all season, except for on Thanksgiving. Future son-in-law helped me out....and gave me purple footballs too!

Gawd bless that boy. He's gonna go far.

 

[TheRobotDevil]

I haven't had any trees all season, except for on Thanksgiving. Future son-in-law helped me out....and gave me purple footballs too!

Gawd bless that boy. He's gonna go far.

I usually stick to girl scout cookie.I may change it up this week I'm superstitious as hell and I hate friday games.I'll get a back up strain